friends help: I think I’ve reached my breaking point.. - Help.com

That makes me SO mad. The US is the ONLY industrialized country that that could happen in… because all the others have Universal Healthcare and people can’t lose everything because of hospital bills! UGH! I, for one, would RATHER pay higher taxes so that things like this wouldn’t happen to people like tiffany’s sister. I’m so sorry that your family has to go through this. We should all contact our senators when we hear about things like this.

I think you need to seriously step back and put things into perspective. Hopefully everything will work out soon enough…

In the meantime -
Keep looking for work
Join activities/groups/clubs/volunteer organizations to keep occupied
Listen to music
Make friends with your family - look for common ground
Take the kids to the park sometimes, McDonalds even :)
Look for the positive

It’s easy for everyone to get on each others nerves, but it could be so much worse.

Please, please, don’t take children to mcdonalds. Their tiny little bodies don’t need the poison they market as food.

I would also be willing to pay higher taxes so that Tiffany’s sister could continue to “buy tons of things she doesn’t need.” Taxpayer subsidized, out-of-control, irresponsible spending–isn’t that what this country is all about??

Well, she’s obviously incredibly irresponsible. How old are you tiffany?

I would sit down with your parents, and discuss your options.
I would recommend being unanimous in approaching your sister and her husband and telling them you’re all fed up with the way they just took over the place, and they have 3 months to find a place of their own…. so, like February 1st…they are out.

the only way they can avoid that is to follow a list of rules you and your folks have made. List everything that has turned your lives around since they arrived.

It is totally disgusting the way they have no regard for anyone in a house where they are the guests!

It sounds like you are depressed because of your situation at home. So move out. I strongly believe people should try to move out of their parents’ house as soon as possible. I left right after I graduated high school (and thank GOD I did… I couldn’t stand another minute there, and my relationships with each family member have gotten much better since). Find a friend who wants a roommate, get a job, find a cheap place to live. You may have to work hard, but we all do at different times in our lives, so we do it. Life isn’t easy, we have to work for our happiness. Your depression will ease up once you take control and get yourself out of that crappy situation.

you have to be tough with her.

and what has the aunt got to do with it? if she’s so concerned, why doesn’t she put them up?

Be tough with them, or they will continue to walk all over you.

In my experience as the youngest sibling I have found that there is no amount of talking that will gain you any respect. The youngest gets walked all over no matter what. On top of that, it sounds like your sister is pretty selfish and unreasonable and won’t respond to your requests for respect. I suggest you get out ASAP, and in the meantime spend as much time away from home as possible (working or looking for an apartment/roommate, if you spend 8am-10pm on that everyday you’ll be out in no time!) and just avoid the whole mess. Seriously, once you get out you will feel SO much better.

♥ tiffany. wrote:
I posed this because I just need advice on how to deal with the situation….

I just need to get away from this.

I think you need to focus on how you can get away is all. Forget about your half sis and her half-baked family for a moment and figure out how you can get a job and get out.

Tiffany moving out is not going to help the situation. It would only leave her parents to deal with it.

Wow tiffany, what a situation.
The attitude your sister is having is not helping.

Has your mother talked with your sisters husband?
Whats his view on all this?
What does your dad say?

I agree with Go_, try to avoid.
Your sister is not in the position to rationalize things.

If I were you I would move in with fiance NOW. Bathroom painting sounds MUCH better than screaming parents, sister and nieces/nephews. Your sister’s bad choices don’t have to be your problem.

I really think this is between your parents and your sister. It seems like everyone in your family is making some pretty bad choices, and it would be your best choice to remove yourself from the situation.

Moving in with fiance sounds like an excellent option to me. I’d actually enjoy helping with the home improvement, especially if I didn’t have a job.

I guess what I’m saying is: I think that’s actually the ONLY thing you can do that will actually be effective in making your life better/solving this problem.

♥ tiffany. wrote:
It’s as if neither one of them have the desire to be parents anymore and they’ve just sort of given up?

I think the are getting away with disrespecting your parents house, and getting comfy.
His “motivation” to better the situation says a LOT about him.

Your mom is in the middle of an emotional battle. She has it bad. Thing is that your sisters problems are starting to negatively effect your parents marriage and your own mental health (everybody’s).

Has your father spoken to your sisters husband?

I truly dont have much to say in terms of what to do tiff, but to just try to avoid and grab your car keys and go to the mall (or just drive around) when you can. Get away for a couple of minutes, go to your fiance’s for some hours, or something.
Its hard, I can only imagine.

you need to realize that it could be worse and there are many people in a much worse situation than you are in. Right now I am going through dealing with my husband getting put in jail because of drinking and having 3 kids and a house payment. Atleast you have a place to live, I may end up losing my house. I know it’s hard to look at the positives, but believe me you could be worse off than you are now.

I was in pretty much the same situation you are in several months ago. What I did was have a serious talk with my parents. My brother and sister-in-law moved in with their twin boys who are beyond brats. My brother who was the only one working lost his job and is unable to find anther one because he and his wife quite school early because of the kids. My sister-in-law and brother would also buy dumb stuff they didn’t need like named brand clothes and such things. I told my parents that it was time to set some rules first no more dumb stuff buying. Second both of them had to go look for a job every day, no matter what kind because beggars can’t be choosers. Third the kids would be disciplined and would act properly by our standards. If all these things were not met than they were on their own. It will be really hard to convince your parents to take this step and you will have to work hard to make sure this works when your parents finally agree. Also it will get worse before it gets better but when it gets better it will be a big difference. And one more thing no matter how much trouble your sister and her family brings you they are still your family remember that. Good luck

The arguing stems from many things. There are a number of people living in a certain square footage getting on each others nerves. Theres a high stress level with the mother who is coping with her own realization that she may not be there to see her kids grow. The kids don’t understand and react in the manner they are. Have you looked into any group and individual counseling? It could really really help everyone get their feelings and emotions out on the table.

Maybe you should tell them how it is and dont be all tender about it. If they would stop getting so worked up, they’d be able to figure stuff out and she needs to stop w the spending. That’s just stupid. If I were your parents or you I wouldn’t put up w it. Just cuz they live there doesn’t mean they get to run the house. But if u dont wanna talk to them, then yull need to get a job, save money, and leave. Sux but that’s life. And believe me I know it’s hard. My.husband just got a job after 1.5 yrs of searching. Yikes. I think instead of telling them you or whoever wants them to leave, tell them to stop with their attitudes and control their kids. If it wasn’t for the craziness, it wouldn’t be so bad. Plus, if she is dying, that’s a terrible way to spend the end of your life - angry, yelling, arguing, ECT.