friends help: This is my first time posting on Help.com (and on this kind of - Help.com

I know totally where you are coming from. I at least have two people who know me. I dont socialise, ever.

I too am 20 years old, and I haven’t seen the majority of my friends in about 9 months.

If you are happy being independant, keep at it. I dont really know how you can fit in with others though. With people I barely know, I change the topic to emotion, thought, experience or something and use that to talk about things most people think they are alone in.

Try talking about how you feel left out. You never know, others in a group may feel that way too.

Keep at it, and best of luck.

I don’t really know what to say to it.

This seems like it’s more developing to a converastion. I don’t know what advise to give etc on it. You are doing all the right things, and no, you aren’t inept of social skills.

The post literally just makes me want to have a conversation with yuou - you seem like a genuine nice person, but it means i;ve got nothing to really add to this.

I hope you figure stuff out :)

hmmmm wisdom like a knife Mas (and I mean that in a good way)… I could only add this - If it’s close friends that you want, you shouldn’t have posted this here. You will only gain more acquaintances here. The chance of friendship here is possible but you don’t want an internet friendship. You have to be open with someone… no expectations, for them to be your friend. Take this whole post and talk about it with someone you know.
Bright blessings ~ Richard

When I left college at 19 I had very few friends, but you are about to start a new phase in your life so you don’t need old baggage to bring along into it. Take your closest friends and keep in touch with your aquantences if you want to. I met my best friend at work when I was 22 and I touch base and have lunch with old school friends. i havn’t seen one college friend since the day I left. Everyone is different and them many experiences you are about to have in your future will bring many people into your life, some for a reason meaning you needed them and they will help, some for a season and from these people you will learn something and some for a lifetime and these are the people you share your experiences with. Patients my frien patience and remember a stranger is a friend you havn’t met. Oh I love my cliches

Thanks for your comments. As some people pointed out, I guess it wasn’t so much advice that I was seeking (nor was it new Internet friends — though you all sound really nice!) as it was a place to ramble. It’s just that it’s difficult to talk about these things to friends or people I know (these sentiments are a bit depressing, and I don’t want anyone I know to feel bad for me…).

Cakes, I find your story to be comforting, so thanks for telling it. While it would’ve been great to have one of those childhood friends turned friends-for-life (and I really envy those people! they’re so lucky!), I also recognize that most people don’t have those and come across friends at different points in their life.

Mas 1st, there’s a lot of truth to the “reciprocity” part that you pointed out. I think that I do have high standards for both myself and for someone I would consider a “best friend.” I would follow a best friend to the end of the earth, and I would expect them to do the same for me. I get discouraged after initiating contact/inviting people to hang out a few times and not being invited to do anything in return. Your second point about lack of a passionate pursuit is pretty off though (not your fault, since you don’t know me!). There are a few interests I am incredibly passionate about, and I have met people through them (I hesitate to go into more specifics, because someone I know frequents these boards and I don’t want to be identified). I tend to have a lot of “same interest” acquaintances…but they’re not close friends. It’s like I only talk to them about the interest, and it’s so hard to find common ground otherwise (not that I haven’t tried).

Anyway, thanks again for reading, and I really appreciate it. I guess I’ll continue being me and trying new things out…and maybe I’ll meet that person one day. I don’t see what else I can do. I also hope I can help some other people out now on these boards. It’s a nice place.

Glad i could be of some help. Good luck and best wishes