life help: I’d like to be controversial for a moment if I may. - Help.com

Personally, I don’t see wanting to live or wanting to die as being brave. Now, risking your life for someone else is brave (i.e. undergoing surgery to donate a kidney to someone).

Some people have very limited vocabularies when dealing with the traumas of others. Its like when you lose someone and they always say there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Giving up is both cowardly and brave. Cowardly in the sense that you’ve given up your will to fight and no longer care. Brave because you don’t truly know if after you pass if a your soul continues on or if it just ends there.

what you say is correct, if i were to be diagnosed with cancer tommorow i would have no choice about it so therefore how can i be brave? its not like a battled with a terrorist on a plane or somthing like that or faught in a war…

i can understand that there is a chance of people completly falling apart if they were diagnosed with cnacer but thats just the way they are and nothing to do with being a coward and the same applies for the opposite, if someone gets cured of cancer it wasnt them that cured it, their body may have helped but it wanst their conciouness curing the cancer it was the doctors…

P.S, its good to ‘be controvercial’ now and again cus 1 is annoys the boring people and 2 it makes people think about the actual truth cus its a sad matter these days that the truth is often deemed as unaceptable simply because of how corrupt society is these days…

…………… wrote:
Just another word that gets thown aound too much like “hero”.

Hell, someone can be a hero for falling down a well according to my papers… probably ’cause it prints better than “stupid sod survives two weeks in well”

lol XD

i know what you mean, i read the other day ‘heroic efforts of emergency services rescue trapped drivers from flood waters’

i mean WTF!?! thats there f-ing job!

Well it depends how you look at being brave. Some people would say that keeping going as normal and not letting it affect your life, despite the fact that some day it will kill you, is brave. There are other words that can describe this as well though. Basically not just letting whatever illness you have get the better of you and stop letting you lead your life normally is a difficult thing to do (I would imagine anyway), and by not letting it get to you it may inspire other people. I reckon this is where the whole brave description came from, people who inspire others tend to be considered brave. That’s my take on it anyway. I definitely see where your coming from though. (Actually, to be perfectly honest I was about to write a reply agreeing with you fully, then I saw that you wanted someone to debate it with you so I started thinking about it more)

And as for

AdamMartinEdwardson wrote:
lol XDi know what you mean, i read the other day ‘heroic efforts of emergency services rescue trapped drivers from flood waters’i mean WTF!?! thats there f-ing job!

Somebody who saves a life in my book is a hero, despite what job they have.

Firstly, it is a lack of knowing what to say.

But also, people seem to think that people who ‘battle’ the disease without moaning or crying or wanting sympathy are brave somehow. They bear it well.

Well feck to that, if I get anything serious I will be screaming from the rootops ‘why me?’ and I want to shout, scream, rage and cry and get lots of sympathy and hugs. Arghghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Does that mean I’ll be dealing with it in a cowardly way? And how does that impact on other people. Do they feel they now can’t moan or cry or feel depressed because people won’t think they are ‘brave’ anymore?

Oh and I agree about the emergency services. They put their lives on the line every day, for little pay or recognition in society, to save the lives of others. That IS brave IMHO.

and there was somthing similar when the grand pier at weston burned down the other month, heres the image of it;

http://lh6.ggpht.com/_lvvREH38Mzk/SI4…
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_picture…

on the news it said that the firefighters managed to contain the blaze and stop it from spreading. There was nothing left to burn!

and ok, i see you point about the saving lives thing but the fact that the flood waters were just above knee deep and wern’t flowing kind of takes the thrill out of the rescue…

Thanks for the offer of hugs, even if it is just to shut me up! lol

AdamMartinEdwardson wrote:
and there was somthing similar when the grand pier at weston burned down the other month, heres the image of it;http://lh6.ggpht.com/_lvvREH38Mzk/SI48XpZBegI/AAAAAAAAAPE/bbYLotbupw8/wpi er20.jpghttp://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_pictures/7528258.stmon the news it said that the firefighters managed to contain the blaze and stop it from spreading. There was nothing left to burn!and ok, i see you point about the saving lives thing but the fact that the flood waters were just above knee deep and wern’t flowing kind of takes the thrill out of the rescue…

Not every job, or rescue is life or death. However they don’t know that when they start a job, it is often down to their very professionalism that it isn’t!

“Men’s actions are too strong for them. Show me a man who has acted, and who has not been the victim and slave of his action.”

-Emerson

I think we bandy the word ‘brave’ around when people are ill, maybe because we think it will make them feel better. As with youngsters ‘be a brave little soldier’ to stop them crying. But is it a suitable description? Probably not.

Oh, you make my head hurt!

this is going way over my head, but thanks for posing a good question, it really made me think ;)

Ah, now I can see all you brave souls! Fly your’re looking cool, and Hey..Iknowyou, you’re still very yellow and fishy!

Yeah my baby blues are looking at you kid! haha

a person who acted bravely at one point in their life is not necessarily a hero. courage is not an automatic ability that some people have and others do not. it is a momentary thing that is embodied by the decision to take action (or speak out) where most others would not. the most timid mother on earth would most likely fight like an angry yak to keep her children from harm. a true hero is someone who always fights down the thought that says “hey, maybe if i just walked away quietly…..”

Good point.

But to some people, the dudes who flew the planes into the wtc were heroes. they stepped up to the plate and delivered a message that few others would have dared. can you say they were not brave? people find it easy to dismiss the actions of some as cowardly or evil, without ever looking at it from the opposite side. i’m not saying i condone their actions, but would they not deserve the same reverence that we devote to firemen if we look strictly at the levels of courage involved? in their minds, and the minds of many others, they were heroes, just as the men who went into that building to try to save people were heroes to us. heroism is in the eye of the beholder.

i agree, but it still follows that heroism is in the eye of the beholder, as there have been many men that were considered heroes by their countrymen, but you or i would consider despicable. Mao Zedong is a prime example. I consider Che Guevarra to have been a hero, commie though he was.

if seen from any different standpoint than his own… no, definitely not a hero. was william wallace a hero to the english army? did the joker ever stop to admire batman’s resolve? did anderson cooper ever convince those hippies? i’m just saying it’s pretty hard to judge someone as a hero or not unless you take a purely impersonal view of them.

excuse my ignorance, please. do you think someone who makes some kind of highly beneficial scientific discovery can be considered a hero, despite bravery being very low on the list of prerequisites for a scientist?

right, so not only is heroism a matter of perspective, but it is a matter of intent.

Well i think that being brave is doing anything good, or bad that could seriously put you in grave danger. But i think to be a hero you must do somthing brave that is good, and do it for reasons you beleive in.

speaking of fear & bravery, i wonder if you are, with this post, ironically trying to keep yourself busy from something you fear to think about

Why So Steve? wrote:

lazy wrote:
speaking of fear & bravery, i wonder if you are, with this post, ironically trying to keep yourself busy from something you fear to think about

To my knowledge I don’t have cancer, and I’m certainly not off to war if that’s what you mean.

i’m a stranger, i did not mean anything in particular, i’m afraid

it could be anything (evil laugh)

I’m disabled and suffer pain with my condition. (Not all the time thankfully.) Am I brave? Of course I’m not. I’d have this taken away in a heartbeat. Do I bear it bravely, not I certainly don’t, haha. I swear and cry and get bloody irritable and become a total *****, especially to my husband, when the pain gets me down. No bravery there.

However, my husband has the patience of a saint with me. He never shouts back, he resists the urge to smack me one, when quite frankly I may just deserve it. He defends me, comforts me, sympathises with me and runs around getting cups of tea and painkillers when needed. Then runs faster when I ***** even more. Now, is that bravery?

(Ps Just in case anyone wants to phone social services for my poor husband, I’m not a complete ***** all the time. In fact most of the time we muddle along quite happily, I just get ’snappy’ when tired and ill. I’m learning more to take myself off to bed or something and leave the poor dear alone!!)

The words cut out are the ‘witch’ word. lol

haha

Of course it isn’t, he just has to put up with it surely?

I don’t think fighting to live is brave, it’s human nature. That’s true. I think the bravery is found in the people that don’t spend their last moments terrified of their impending death. I think the bravery is in thinking…’I'll fight this, but hey, if I die, that’s just how it goes’. The bravery is in knowing that you want to live, but knowing that if you don’t, that’s not a bad thing either. Bravery IS is facing death without fear. I think that bravery is a word thrown around too much…but one that some people really do deserve. I’d give a better insight, but I’m a bit too tired…sorry if I’ve contradicted myself in anyway…I cba proof-reading.
xxxx

well atleast i know i’m not the only one who is as contraversially screwed up in the head. jk no mean intentions. but i think that it is a state of mind. what you might consider brave another doesn’t.. and no matter what you say they believe what they believe. i at times think that you just embrace deaths sweet caresses with a sigh of extasy. but what i’m saying is that your not afraid to die. it is a thing that not everyone comes in term with in life.. i think that it is a person choice of the value of living or dying. i am trying to find purpose to live sounds cheezzy but i don’t think at times human beings are so good. their sadistic sobs. who are soo very egocentric and anoying thinking each and every one has their beliefs and the other few who are ok or GOOD just grrrr i don’t know i’m in a mood if this doesn’t make sense, well i usually don’t :)

I have nothing to add except that I love this discussion. It also reminds me of discussions around it being okay to be relieved when someone dies because they are no longer suffering.

i work in a care home for elderly people i have seen people die of cancer many times some go peacefully some not so. But being in that situation i would never patronize them by saying your brave etc i think it is cruel to let a person suffer that way they would not put animals through it.

People need to feel loved and that their is a purpose to life even if they are without it. They are brave because their lessons can be learnt from and teach others. I agree to give your breath for another is noble. Embracing death is selfless yet selfish. People are told these things so they do not die a painful death. All deserve to die without fear!