Love help: This is embarrassing for me .

Isthmus Crypticus

This is embarrassing for me .

. . .

I felt like i was doing really well with my anxiety and depression. But tonight i feel so bad. I feel like the world has just completely fallen away from under me and im plummeting into the dark void again.

I know whats caused it. Im so stressed out about my university, and i have my old fears of failing in life coming back again. I keep worrying that im not going to make it in life, that I’ll end up marrying a woman that i dont love, have a really bad job and be miserable with my gift of life.

I cant seem to control my fears, or cant seem to stop them from influencing the things in my life. The thing that really depresses me is that i love the topic of my uni course: psychology. I love looking at how different elements influence our well being and cognition’s.

The irony of it is, i dont know how to help myself. Im terrified of failure. I was bullied all through primary school and secondary school, and i have a massive issue with confidence, anxiety and depression. I have no faith in my abilities to do the job right, i always feel that im being judged by everyone around me, even in the most simplest of tasks.

This is my second time repeating my final year of university, and again i feel like my marks are really bad. I only just passed two of my classes, AGAIN, the one im doing at the moment im doing well in though, but i dont think it will be enough. I just want to be able to show my superiors what i can do. I want to have faith in myself to be able to show them that i can become a psychologist.

Im so worried they wont let me try again a third time. I dont have enough money to go back and repeat the course all over again.

I just want to be able to have faith in myself, and not panic all the time

This open post was written 1 year, 1 month ago | V/U/S: 191, 14, 10 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Isthmus Crypticus may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Isthmus Crypticus is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 12 months and has 27 posts and 104 replies to their name.

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psychology, Money, Love, woman, university, life, Irony, school, bullying, faith, depression, fear, Help (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (14)

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HelpBot 5 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 1 year, 1 month ago (0 minutes after post)

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☆ 194 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (14 minutes after post)

You have a great task…to finish your schooling despite the stress you are encountering. Bullies are everywhere aren’t they. But they should not stop you from getting what you want in your life. After all, it has already happened in the past but i know for sure the negative past sneaks affecting your ability in the present.

I suggest getting your schedule ready for you to study and finish the tasks ought to be done.

You don’t need to impress your professors. :) You would need to straighten out to accomplish your requirements. And enjoy what you do. That’s what learning is all about.

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mullet3 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (18 minutes after post)

Just pull up a little bit. The fact you are where you are is a feat within itself.

I’m a person with a huge amount of anxieties from chronic phisical abuse as a child so I understand the emotions you are feeling. You make a very good point in your post which is you want to show your superiors what you can do just stop and look at that a bit more, stop trying to please those around you stop trying to be accepted stop worrying about what people may think of you and your grades may have suffered alot at school from the bullying which is maybe why you still feel your grades are down the only bully in your life now is you, you are giving yourself such a hard time you are making yourself feel the same way the bullies use to back at school.

Try to stop worrying about your grades and just put in the as much study as you can without going overload and sometimes you just give yourself a little time off to let yourself obsorb what you have been studying.

racheldove8 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (26 minutes after post)

Please don’t be embarrassed. There are many (plus many who will not admit) thatare in similar situations. I work in mental health, have my degree and then given (quite a bit of) pressure have stuggled with depression etc (only cos I don’t want to go in to the full extent)and Im currently off work. Someone I work with has struggled too. He tells me that his struggles have helped him in understanding and taking perspectives from different angles. He said he is careful to ensure that he looks at how others would view situations as well as how he would as he knows that occassionally his perspective is skewed. I would advise you to do what you need to do to sort this out. It is going to be uncomfortable. But you have gone into the profession because you care. Which is exactly what is needed- that ability to care. The only thing we need to remember is to care enough to put yourself first because without that it gets very difficult to help others.

Good luck

Ps I reccommend depressionforums.com for support if you need it

Cokes

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shad 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (55 minutes after post)

To me it appears you have made some significant accomplishemts in your life so far. It’s very easy to lose sight of the end goal with anxiety / depression / frustration always hanging over your shoulder. Remember that University is only a stepping stone and (believe it or not) will be over before you realize it. Maybe you should take a look at what you’ve already achieved, then take a look at your goal. It’s not that far away. This may seem harsh but if you think about it it will make sense, it seems a shame to run a marathon then stop 100M from the finish line because you feel tired and don’t believe you can make it.

Crisabell 8 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (1 hour, 8 minutes after post)

chillax . just try doing better . dont worry about anything . watch a movie .. smoke sum weed listen to calming music .

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shad 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (1 hour, 9 minutes after post)

Yep, weed will definitely help with that depression… and I’m not sarcastic…

jamesjanet9 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (1 hour, 10 minutes after post)

Try reading your bible. The answers are in there. Maybe its not what your meant to do. Pray about it. Have faith, it will work out. Perhaps a christian counselor?

anri #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (1 hour, 37 minutes after post)

Hey honey, it sounds like you’re a really smart guy, all you need is to trust yourself that you have the brain to do it. Just sit back,relax, take a deep breath and do your next assignment. I promise you it will work out in the end.

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abdulkadar2 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (3 hours, 15 minutes after post)

you are a very intelligent person.What ever degrees you have achieved today is not because of your fear or someone bullying you,you have acheieved them because somewhere down in the corner of your heart you know it you can n u have the confidence of doing it…n its high time you take out the confidence that you have in you and show the world that “YES YOU CAN”..n remember “A CALM MIND CAN EVEN OVERCOME A STORM”…dnt worry…you have a very special quality..n that is that you know what you are suffering from..you just need to help urself by thinking about what are the good things u have learnt in life instead of looking back on the worst memories…this will surly help….

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Isthmus Crypticus 1 #
Melbourne, 07, AU | 1 year, 1 month ago (12 hours, 55 minutes after post)

thanks for helping me with this.

I still feel kinda embarrassed about it though, and a little selfish because their a probably people out there that a worse off than me, but i do appreciate your help on this one.

thanks

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☆ 194 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (13 hours, 1 minute after post)

You are not being selfish. At all. Everyone has his own story to tell so no one has the right to judge. So it was good to tell something about it.

I hope you feel well today.

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neku 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (13 hours, 54 minutes after post)

Worrying is a bad habit, you need to overcome it like any other bad habit. Try to modify the factors under your control, that is the only thing you can do. From http://mshn.org/worry.html

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Felicity 8 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (16 hours, 31 minutes after post)

wnen it comes to the self, faith in self and self confidence sometimes we need to take small risks and trust things will work out for the best.Sort of like faking it till we make it. Also by worrying you are missing the journey, the path on the way there b/c your eyes are on the end result. And b/c your study is Psychology how much of it do you try and apply to yourself? what Im getting at is if your focus is too much on this then it will effect your studies. This is a link to one of my recent posts, i think it may help you realize its perfectly OK to ask for help. http://help.com/post/209833-shame-the…

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