life help: My birthday is in about 2 months. - Help.com



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My birthday is in about 2 months.

I’m turning 20 and I’m terrified of that day. Each time I think of it I get depressed and feel really old. I’m only happy when I play my sports but people around me keep reminding me of how old I’m getting. Whenever I speak to my dad (which is rarely-about 10 times/year) all he does is telling me to start studying and he insinuates that if I don’t start study immediately my future will be destroyed. There are so many people in my life laying all of this responsibility on me- they want me to feel responsible for things I don’t want in my life. As an example, my dad wants me to be a lawyer or a doctor. I want to study something creative and what I want doesn’t matter. If things don’t go their way, they stop caring. But the worst thing is that my life was so much better, I felt so much happier when I was 12-16 and before that. Since that everything has started sucking. I know “my life is just beginning” but it’s not like that for me. Because the things that are supposed to be “starting” are not the things I want. The house with picket fence, husband and two kids at age 25 is not what I want. And just because I don’t want this and hasn’t start planning for this now everybody around me thinks I’m weird. And I just feel so old, why is this? Has somebody gone through this?

This open post was written 1 year, 1 month ago | V/U/S: 176, 6, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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marriage, lawyer, happiness, life, sport, birthday, house, matter, fence, Wyrd, age, depression (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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HelpBot offline Verified User (0 minutes) Shouts: 2 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 1 year, 1 month ago (0 minutes after post)

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jcd offline Verified User (2 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (35 minutes after post)

You’re almost 20, which means your an adult. Live your life the way you want to. Your parents just want what they think is best for you, which is to be successful. Show them that you can be successful doing what makes you happy.

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i believe offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (1 hour, 42 minutes after post)

There is always a way to do what you want, even if you have to make people think you aren’t taking it. If you speak with your dad that infrequently, then it doesn’t really matter what he wants, because he doesn’t have any control over you. And you’re 20–you’re legal, so NOBODY but you has any control over you.

As for feeling old, I think it’s just something that happens. You’re practically still a kid, and even if you were turning 83, that’s no reason to give up what you love, barring physical inability.

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Anonymous #
1 year, 1 month ago (2 hours, 11 minutes after post)

Thanks for all of your replies, they made me feel a little better about my situation. I guess I still am a kid in many aspects and I feel like I want to experience this stage of my life fully before I take on the whole mature-decision-making phase that inevitably will knock on my door a sunny day. I already know that I don’t want to regret not having done things I wanted in my life so I’ll listen to all of the advice and keep doing my sports (even though my dad thinks it’s a complete and utter waste of my time). You guys are right… he doesn’t even know me that well to know what’s best for me… I’ll do what I want to do… Thanks again.. :)

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Felicity offline Verified User (1 year, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 15 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (2 hours, 37 minutes after post)

sounds to me like fear, fear of losing your childhood, fear of the stresses involved. Dont worry, you’ll get old-er a little at a time just like everyone else. Take one comment,pressure one at a time and you’ll be fine.

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