friends help: Guys, I have a question. - Help.com

sounds like you guys need either a proper sit down where you take charge or to go see a counselor.

Write down your feelings and bullet point them.

Find a good time to talk when you have a couple of hours, are not going to get interrupted and have no particular plans.

Take the phone off the hook and say:

“Sit down. We need to talk. I am worried about our relationship and I need to iron these things out”.

If he shrugs it off … he’s going to have to walk out of the door to avoid the conversation ! “A relationship with no communication is not a relationship. We ARE going to talk” is what you say when he dithers and dodges.

Then, you take each of your worries in turn and talk them through. You may not get all of them done in one session, but you will have made a start.

You sound completely mismatched. A big part of maturity is knowing when to pack it in. It’s time.

No, you’re not misreading things. Expect him to go on his way, all by himself, after graduation.

I gotta go with my man chev.jame on this one. I’m not convinced he’ll pack it in after graduation, I mean after all he is “getting the milk for free” But if you can take this sort of abuse, I’m wondering what you will do when he hits you.

there are two thiings that are needed in a successful relationship Trust and comunication without both you cant have a good relationship. Go with your gut it will tell you what you already know… It may be hard but remember time does heal everything

Waitasecond!!!
Something similar just happened with my (now ex)girlfriend and I. I was getting really complacent, and unknowingly selfish in our relationship. She just broke up with me last week. We were together for 3.5 years. I learned a lot from this, and grew an incredible amount as a person through all this, BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO BREAK UP!!!
Here’s what I’d suggest: Sit down with him. Get his FULL (I mean 100 freakin %.) and tell him exactly what he’s doing wrong and how it makes you feel. Tell him the relationship is on the line. This guy needs a wake up call before it’s too late.

This is all I could have wished for before my girlfr… i mean Ex-girlfriend broke up with me. If I had truly known what I was doing to her, and how it made her feel, I would have turned things around so fast it would make your neck snap. This relationship CAN be saved. don’t go breaking up over this just yet. It sounds lame, but communication is key. Any decent guy’s favourite thing is making his girl happy. If, after having a serious, lengthy, talk with him, he doesn’t change (or even want to) then there’s not much else I can say.

-Sas

sorry, i meeant “get his full, 100% attention. (i forgot a key word in that one… my bad.

I spent 20 years of my life with a man that you just described. We are now divorced. I tried to read the signals/actions different in order to hopefully make our lives fit together. They never did. Seperate lives while married and now permanent seperate lives which both of us are now living. The hardest part was attempting to blank out 20 years that was miserable to both of us and realizing that 20 years was WASTED without love or any connection. If I could do it over I would have moved on when I saw that he had to be “forced” to marry me (he finally got tired of hearing me talk about it). It was such a miserable waste of two lives.

Here is what i see … he hasn’t ever loved you befor or ever.
You where just a doll who he was playing with by ” his way ” .
but when the doll starts to talk and try to find another way he started to see her winny and boaring . so he started to find a way to make her shut up again as she was by ignoring her and complain about everything she does , just to make her feel wrong and start to follow him again.
and saddly when she will take a step and say that she can’t live with this way -which is his - he will look for a new doll to play with

think about it … your time is coming and the count down began (7 months)

It seems to me like he has lost some interest in keeping the relationship a priority. If you have already tried talking to him and he does not take it seriously, then I suggest you nicely and confidently tell him that YOU need some time off from him. He might not see it coming and “might” start asking why. Respectfully let him know that you have some things to sort out and stick to your word. If he tries contacting you, do NOT respond immediately. This will show him that you are a valuable woman of character and should be taken seriously. If he truly cares for you and the relationship and a possible future with you, then this will give him time to realize that and to reset his priorities, one which is making you happy. Good luck!!!

catsan, that’s an ok idea, but she also needs to tell him that HE has some stuff to work out as well.