life help: something I’m workin on, need it to be critised till its awesome - Help.com

¿ThatKid?
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something I’m workin on, need it to be critised till its awesome

He said ‘I know you don’t want this.
This life, this permanent aching caused by screams directed at you.’
‘Why wont you run?’ he asked
‘I wont cause I cant’ she now whispered.
my legs are to tired and i cant help falling asleep every time I get the chance to escape these screams
I just want us to be together she said
don’t you?
why wouldn’t I baby?
cause you’re telling me to run from the screams and the one screaming at me is you

This open post was written 1 year, 1 month ago | V/U/S: 118, 10, 7 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post ¿ThatKid? may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. ¿ThatKid? is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 7 months and has 30 posts and 480 replies to their name.

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¿ThatKid? invited 16 users to read this post 1 year, 1 month ago.

Help me with: lets talk stuff!

AshleyAnemia. (: invited 4 users to read this post 1 year, 1 month ago.

AshleyAnemia. (: offline Verified User (1 year, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
US | 1 year, 1 month ago (6 minutes after post)

(:

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littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 152 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (9 minutes after post)

What exactly are you writing?

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Help me with: How to Get a Job
¿ThatKid? offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (10 minutes after post)

uhm.. its kinda like spoken word

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Help me with: lets talk stuff!
disgruntled offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (20 hours, 1 minute after post)

It’s written well, but in what context? What’s the back story?

You have a of grammar mistakes. You wrote.. “my legs are to tired”

It should be too tired!

Only criticism I can give you! Hope it’s constructive x

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¿ThatKid? offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (20 hours, 5 minutes after post)

Thanks:D

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Help me with: lets talk stuff!
peters.charlen offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (3 days, 5 hours after post)

Its great!!

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angelna offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (6 days, 2 hours after post)

I like it…I can feel it metaphorically - I am going through the same thing. I like it - good job :D

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