Love help: After deciding to break up with my boyfriend of four years, I’m starting to feel really down. - Help.com



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After deciding to break up with my boyfriend of four years, I’m starting to feel really down.

Today he’s out driving my truck (which got towed last night) and spending the money I gave him after he cried broke. I just checked the mail (something I don’t normally do) and found out his bank account is overdrawn. I don’t know what he did with his money but he says he has no money to pay rent and the lease is in MY name. I fell for him four years ago because we shared a passion for producing music, a combination I could never find prior to meeting him. My spirit told me back then we were good for partners but not lovers. I was so in love with him, I couldn’t help but ignore my intuition. Now I find myself to paying bills late, struggling to stay in college while searching for ways to make end meet. Him? He works part time and is about to get his degree. Soon he’ll be making lots of money in his field. All I ever wanted was someone to WANT to do for me. I thought if I stayed in a relationship where I sacrificed my wants, involved him in all of my aspirations and supported all of his interests, he would reciprocate. I know in the long run he would but I feel so taken advantage of. I am a very spiritual person and I believe great things are due to me and I take great joy in knowing so. I guess at this moment I just need someone to tell me they understand what I’m going through and everything’s gonna be okay.

This open post was written 1 year ago | V/U/S: 741, 6, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


Reciprocity (0) Reciprocation Failure -- The poster has NOT helped anyone else yet!

Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

Post Tags (10)

music, bank, college, Money, mail, Love, Truck, Person, Year, Driving (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (6)

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~~JST_ME~~ offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 5 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (8 minutes after post)

Well everything is going to be ok i just dont really undersand y u feel taken advantage of

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Help me with: IDEAS NEEDED
tricky offline Verified User (3 years) Long Term User Shouts: 38 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (10 minutes after post)

i know how it feels when you give something ur all and not get anything back ,it’s normal to feel down right now cause you have been out of a relationship… just try to forget all this , and as i see it , it seem that , ur bf aint that much of a help and stuff when it comes to responsibility and stuff… when one window closes , many new windows open ^_^

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Help me with: What If?
Lilmizmoore offline Verified User (1 year) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (1 hour, 32 minutes after post)

Rule #1…never give a boyfriend money. Have you watched Judge Judy? :-)

Rule #2…never get a lease in just your name. Means he has no legal obligation really. You’re stuck

Rule #3…never let him drive your car no matter how much they beg

Rule #4..If he gets himself on his feet if he were any kind of friend he’s pay you back but I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting.

I didnt want this to sound harsh, but Im 36 and Ive been through a similar scenario more than once before I learned my lesson, and it always ended up really bad.

Take care
Marsha

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Help me with: Would You Help a Homeless Person?
Lilmizmoore offline Verified User (1 year) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (1 hour, 33 minutes after post)

I also wanted to say that yes, it is a bad feeling when we break up with someone, but after some time, you’ll get a clearer picture of the situation, and will know what is best for you. Get your life back on track and finish school, and you’ll find a whole wealth of opportunity in your life.

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Help me with: Would You Help a Homeless Person?
cloudlessworld offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (3 hours, 7 minutes after post)

the very first hing you should is stop comparing your situation to his. concentrate on getting your life better. who cares if hes finishing his degree and will soon be making money?! its not helping you. trust me ive been there, done that. a couple of years down the line im in a much better position, emotionally. not that its a contest as i said! but thats what counts in the end.

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Help me with: Thoughts on the past…
star.fishin offline Verified User (11 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 4 weeks ago (1 month after post)

we broke off abt 6 weeks ago now. one of the reasons he gave was because he felt i didnt support him enough when he most needed it - financally included. I came here looking for answers. should i have strongly offered money to him then? Maybe i should have. I dont know. I can only wonder now.

But what i’m trying to get to you is this: at least know that you have tried. To the best that you can at that point in time when your bf needed it. So know that there should be no regrets. You helped him but the relationship didnt turned out the way you wanted.

It is time to move on.

Am telling myself that too.

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