Mind help: Help. - Help.com

It’s hard to accept that you can only help people who are willing to be helped.

You have to realize that you can give and give and give advice but at the end of the day that is allllll you can do. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn’t. But no one can take on the burden of so many. Everyone has problems, everyone goes through bad times, but part of survival is learning how to deal with that on your own. One thing you can do is try to put that good heart of yours to some other use. All you can do is try to make the world around you a better place. Find something that calls to you. It could be volunteer work, it could even be something like academic work. The feeling you have, I know it too. It is because you have passion and passion is one of the strongest things in this world in my opinion. Use it for the good that you have inside you rather than letting it eat you up. But do not take on more than you can burden. When that happens, slow down, take a step back, and return refreshed and in a new state of mind.

You need to toughen up!

Try laughing when little kids run into things, or drop there ice cream cones, work your way up to laughing when starving homeless people ask you for food.

LOL….I laugh when little kids run into things…well so long as they didn’t get hurt doing so. I’m not so sure laughing at homeless ppl will work though–seems kinda counter productive :p

i feel like that too all the time. it pains me so much to hear when peole are going through things ive gone through i want to fix them maybe its because in a way since i cant fix myself i think i can fix them help them give them guidence a sense of belonging anything to realease them of any pain they may feel. its like i relive my own pain by hearing others but think of all the people that thank you and remember that one response makes someone feel like someone out there cares and that they arent alone. i mean you wrote this post and your looking for some advice your doing the same for others.

◊Cassie◊ wrote:

Commander Ikari wrote:
You need to toughen up!Try laughing when little kids run into things, or drop there ice cream cones, work your way up to laughing when starving homeless people ask you for food.

wow… that’s kinda terrible… lol

What? I did that and now my heart has frozen over! I am now only surviving on the force of my malice!

im in the EXACT same position as you.. =S

seeing that you are newer to this site…. it will probably take a bit of time…

we are only human… who feel for others… (well, most of us anyways… lmfao)..
but you have to know that…. as long as you give advise to others… you are really helping them… you let them know that you cared enough to give your input..

but you have to really learn how to shut off your emotions when it comes to a point of wanting to harm yourself… because remember… if you harm yourself, you arent going to be any help to anyone…. not even to yourself..

◊Cassie◊ wrote:
well… I suppose if it works for you.

αиgєl♥ wrote:
im in the EXACT same position as you.. =S

Has it gotten to the point where you want to kill yourself yet?

not quite…. a few weeks back it go really bad and i went into a big depression… wasnt talking to nay of my friends for a while and was just ovverwhlemed… i thought about suicide for a hwile but knew it wasnt right…but i take on other peoples problems SO easily and i cant help it… i just have this need to help people

Cassie, if certain posts are depressing you too much you should unsubscribe and stay away from those posts.

Is there anyone in your real life you can talk to?

try having a cup of hot chocolate every night. thats what i do i have one right now haha. its soothes me and makes me feel sleepy and relaxes my body also chocolate releases chemicals that make you happy.

the suicidal thoughts could be more part of your some sort of withdrawal from self injury too after i stopped i had suicidal thoughts for three months then they stopped i used to have fantasies of ways i could die.

◊Cassie◊ wrote:
Confession: I have suicidle thoughts on a daily bases and see senarios of myself jumping out windows, taking pills, etc…

i would suggest taking a break from here…. seriously… other wise things are going to get where you might not want them to go… and none of us want to see you hurt yourself…

a small break could be a very good thing for you…

◊Cassie◊ wrote:
Confession: I have suicidle thoughts on a daily bases and see senarios of myself jumping out windows, taking pills, etc…

Cassie, what will that solve? Creating -more- pain, more suffering. Hurting everyone around you is not the answer. Everything has to get worse before it can get better. The things that happen to people happen for a reason, but more importantly something good can always come from any situation. You may not realize it for 5 days, 5 weeks, or 5 years…but it does come eventually.

Another thing to consider is here there is such opportunity to make a real difference in someone’s life. I think of all the people that I’ve actually known in my life that simply will not let me close enough to help them. People who I love and who love me. That is excruciating also. But you have no control over others and I know this. I agree with Cell, if you can’t deal with a post, stay away from it. You may want to consider taking a break from here until you are feeling better.

If other problems cause you worry, imagine how your suicide would hurt the ones around you.

I have added you as a friend.

No if you kill yourself your family ends up screwed up for life.

Life is not a poem.

◊Cassie◊ wrote:

Commander Ikari wrote:
If other problems cause you worry, imagine how your suicide would hurt the ones around you.

Find the poem: Out, Out by Robert Frost. It explains how though one life may go, others still go on eventually.

While that may be true to an extent…look for the song Without You by Jonathan Larson from RENT. The world around us keeps turning, but without the ones we care about it is -never- the same.

My dad’s friend killed himself when they were teens. My dad never recovered. To this day he has no friends outside of immediate family. Zero. I don’t know if he just doesn’t want to get close again or what.

Imagine how your parents would feel.

◊Cassie◊ wrote:

Cell wrote:
My dad’s friend killed himself when they were teens. My dad never recovered. To this day he has no friends outside of immediate family. Zero. I don’t know if he just doesn’t want to get close again or what.Imagine how your parents would feel.

I don’t know still… I feel as if they aren’t even real.

Your parents?

You feel your parents don’t exist?

I don’t think it is depersonalization. When you mix that with your over-empathizing pains as you described it, they shouldn’t be able to coexist. You can’t care about -everything- and -nothing- all at once. You seem to be trying clutch to something, anything, that might justify you hurting yourself…when you know the reality is that there is no rationalizing something like that. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here, you wouldn’t be talking to us about it. You wouldn’t want other people to know–you’d just do it.

Cassie when you deal with sites like this, or any kind of counsel or advice, you have to practice a certain amount of detachment. When you log off that computer you have to put your mind into another place, i.e read a book, watch a movie, meditate to clear you mind.
If you harbor and take others problems to heart, you’ll drive yourself insane.Depression can soon sink in too. As hard as it is, you have to turn off the computer and turn off your mind to it, it takes practice and its something that is taught to doctors and nurses in their training.
Look at it as a sinking ship, you have to rescue the people but still stay afloat yourself. :-)

quit what?

Okay, well why do you keep coming back?

Yes, I have heard that is hard. I think the best thing is try not to think about it.

Do your parents know what is going on?

I understand the pain of an addiction, but it is not your only option is it? You need to find another way to channel those emotions outwardly. Immerse yourself in things you like to do and with people you enjoy being around. Life is far too short to waste your time concentrating on all the negativity this world has to offer. You have to love and respect yourself in order to move forward. You can call it an addiction but you can’t use it as an excuse. People quit addictions cold turkey all the time and there is no reason you cannot be the same. But first of you have to really WANT it. Saying you want it and feeling it deep inside you are different. If you have contoured that already, then you are way ahead in the game. You just have to be strong and rely on the people around you to help you. If you don’t have someone you can rely upon then find someone–there is always someone out there.

Conquered*

good night

Seriously, you need to take the knife to your mom right now. Don’t let this control your life Cassie.

Cassie, you still here?

Yay! We are all happy! =D Victory dance *Does victory dance*

See you tomorrow Cassie.

Cassie, are you planning to hurt yourself tonight? If so please do not go..

awwh and i jut got here…. ill talk to you tomorrow okay? please be okay.
you can get through this. we’re all here for you! xoxoxo
sleep good hun =)

I agree with what Ikari says about laughing. You should find something or someone that makes you smile, and then you can laugh about things too. It’s hard knowing that people suffer, for some people, that itself is greater than our own pain, but it’s also a part of what makes us human. People who care about others need to remember to not expect themselves to be able to fix everything, you just need to do what you can, when you can, and remember that we’re not perfect or capable of being perfect. It would be easy to go into a spiritual discussion here, but I don’t know how you feel about that sort of thing so I won’t ;)

Whenever I feel like suffering is unlimited, I remember a poem of sorts that someone I don’t know once wrote to help someone like me. The whole thing is pretty long, so I won’t post it (but I could give you a link if you wanted) but the important part here is this:

“Life is what you make of it, and happiness is the only other thing I would posit is infinite. Let the world into you, and let it out of you, and let everything be because everything naturally works towards a good end.”

Take care dearie.

Being depressed is not a good feeling .You really need someone to sit down and talk to.If your not into prayig maybe you should try it. Talk to god more often he listens. Go to church it will make you feel alot better.You will not get into the gates of heaven if you take your own life. I know that life is tough but situations makes you a stronger person.I have been through it all I have 5 children that I raise on my own my youngest 2 childrens father died when my daughter turned 1years old. I felt the same way as you do but things happen in life its all about how you dill with it. I know you are a strong person you have to have faith not saying my life is peaches and cream but it can be worseLike I said I been through a lot in my life and I may go through even more but I love myself and my children so much I will get out of it, and so will you keep the faith and pray. God bless you

oh cassie your doing so well though trust me its not an easy battle to overcome cuttng is a terrible thing. you cant do it by yourself though has your mom done anythng to help you. your going to feel suicidal for some time its part of quitting its quite common its like a given when you give it up. for me it lasted three months of suicidal thoughs for one of my friends it was a month it depends how addicted you were.

Let me tell you that there are people out there who know exactly what you are going through.
I was in a psychiatric ward a little while ago because I tried to end everything. And it really honestly sucked.
Cutting is a really hard habit to get out of.
Just like coming on help.com is really hard to stop.
I know that you like helping people, but you really have to tell yourself that this is only a website. While you are potentially turning someone’s life around for the better, it’s really only virtual help. You don’t know if the person on the receiving end is actually going to do what you think they should do, and in most cases you can’t see them face-to-face.
This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t help.
I love helping people, virtually or otherwise.
It really makes my day.
But you have to draw the line betweem virtuality and reality.
You have to learn to let go.
To put yourself and your needs before anything else.
To feel empathy, but not to let it get the better of you.
To understand that sometimes the things we want most in the world don’t work out.
There are people here and in the real world who love you, Hannah.
You’ve helped so many people on here, me included.
I’m sure that’s the same where you are.
I’m sure all your family and friends admire you, love you and respect you because of the help you give them.
Don’t ever forget that.
We love you.

how ya doing?

that doesnt sound lame! but thats awesome! they probably dont hate you though! in grade 6 i went through this thing where i thought everyone in my class hated me…. but they didnt :D lol

What is there possibly to dislike about somene who is wierd and over the top? Turst me, people in HS are not the best judges of character most times. I wouldn’t fret it. But actually, I’m jealous. I went through all of HS having like 2 people I actually considered my friend. And still, 4 and a half later I don’t even know them! No one ever accepted me like that lol. I just sat by myself…Lucky! :-p

LOL…A little

Actually ur just silly. I don’t believe a word of it. But even so, it doesn’t matter one bit.

Hannah!!! bestest buddy!

◊Cassie◊ wrote:
Sorry… did I mention I have fat arms? Does that make you feel better? =P

Liar liar.

◊Cassie◊ wrote:

Devil_on_Earth wrote:
How could anybody possibly hate you Cassie?

I’m an ugly loser who’s weird and is sometimes a bit over-the-top…

Again, liar liar.

You’re so too much fun to love! BAHAHAHAH.

LIAR! I don’t ever see any bruises. I think you’re like that anorexic girl in our med packet.

You see things that aren’t there.

*cough cough,*

Hey, insanity runs in my family.
In my family, it practicly gallops. :) Have fun Hannah, I have homework! Duh duh duh duh! Night!

Hey, I have a story to tell you…

tomorow during lunch, k?

Again, I’ll remind you… You can always call me. Txt, or anything…

Confession- I txt during class… hehe… Don’t tell the teachers.

Yes, i’ve seen your legs. There are not taht many bruises

Devil_on_Earth wrote:

◊Cassie◊ wrote:
Have you seen my f-in legs??

nnooobut i bet they are tan and pretty! (don’t worry, i am not homosexual…i think)

They most certainly are! She has a swimmer’s legs!

Hannah, Have you ever considered putting make up on the bruises?
I mean, if they bother you this badly, go find some foundation (You’ll probably have to get a different color) and pop it on. No one will notice.

A lot of people do it. I do…