Love help: I’m afraid to break up with my girlfriend because I’m not sure about moving on. - Help.com



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I’m afraid to break up with my girlfriend because I’m not sure about moving on.

She is extremely nice and always helpful and she will let me do whatever I want like if I want to go hangout with friends she will let me. She constantly worries about everything including that I will break up with her. I think that’s how I get my way, but I want a balanced relationship. She has a problem jumping to extremes and getting very mad at people when it’s usually nothing. Sometimes she will do this to me but usually she will only say it to my voicemail or get mad without my knowledge and when I confront her she immediately goes back to being submissive (”sorry, sorry, sorry!”). I have confronted her about this so many times especially about her being so apologetic but I she keeps doing it. I think she does it on purpose because guilt is such a strong tactic. But, at the same time I have some extreme social anxiety and I am far from perfect myself. I get disconnected from conversations so easily. I’m at a new university and I think I need to go make friends instead of spending so much time with my girl. I’m the type of person who loves to get out and do stuff but it’s difficult for me to connect with people but I want to so bad. I have regretted breaking up with a specific girl before and I still do to this day. Sometimes I really want to break up with her but it’s not because I’m frustrated at her, I’m just not happy with her I can’t help it. Other times I think I need her to be happy. Right now what I would love more than anything is to just be friends with her. But at the same time I have a strong feeling that I will regret this decision.

This open post was written 1 year ago | V/U/S: 2,895, 11, 7 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Ξ.Ģäβž.Ξ offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (7 minutes after post)

lol, dude you need to edit your opening sentence. I don’t believe you meant anything nasty by what you said, but it sure sounds bad.

I think what your trying to say is that your afraid you won’t find anyone as good as her ? lol

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Jerry edited this post 1 year ago. Read the previous text »

I’m afraid to break up with my girlfriend because I’m not sure I will be able to find someone better. She is extremely nice and always helpful and she will let me do whatever I want like if I want to go hangout with friends she will let me. She constantly worries about everything including that I will break up with her. I think that’s how I get my way, but I want a balanced relationship. She has a problem jumping to extremes and getting very mad at people when it’s usually nothing. Sometimes she will do this to me but usually she will only say it to my voicemail or get mad without my knowledge and when I confront her she immediately goes back to being submissive (”sorry, sorry, sorry!”). I have confronted her about this so many times especially about her being so apologetic but I she keeps doing it. I think she does it on purpose because guilt is such a strong tactic. But, at the same time I have some extreme social anxiety and I am far from perfect myself. I get disconnected from conversations so easily. I’m at a new university and I think I need to go make friends instead of spending so much time with my girl. I’m the type of person who loves to get out and do stuff but it’s difficult for me to connect with people but I want to so bad. I have regretted breaking up with a specific girl before and I still do to this day. Sometimes I really want to break up with her but it’s not because I’m frustrated at her, I’m just not happy with her I can’t help it. Other times I think I need her to be happy. Right now what I would love more than anything is to just be friends with her. But at the same time I have a strong feeling that I will regret this decision.

Ξ.Ģäβž.Ξ offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (8 minutes after post)

I sense you didn’t mean it to sound nasty, as you don’t really speak badly of her in the post. Your just not happy, yeah ?

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EmilyRI offline Verified User (1 year, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (10 minutes after post)

Hey he’s being honest. Opinions are good but he seems to be in a very sensitive state right now :)

So, you’re feeling lost with what your next move is. Would you be able to talk to your girlfriend about how you feel? It’s good to have open communication. Even though you say she gets upset easily, you can’t walk on eggshells about how you feel. I think if you’re saying to us that you aren’t happy with her, staying in the relationship will not benefit you.
It seems you feel smothered by your relationship and want to be more free. You should talk to her about this because it’s important she knows how you feel.

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Ξ.Ģäβž.Ξ offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (10 minutes after post)

lol, its ok, Jerry saved your butt.

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ac19 offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (24 minutes after post)

Hey, I’ve been in your situation before and I regreted not breaking up w/ her because I also have extreme social anxiety. I just started college and I like to do things outside and stuff of that nature. I was constantly walking on eggshells when I was around her; so I wouldn’t say the wrong thing to get her upset. I was not happy at all. I consider breaking up w/ her but i just figured it would get better. It Never did. (we always hung out, never really had time to meet new people)

After I finally coldn’t take it anymore I broke it off, life seemed to get so much better. I was able to be mor outgoing w/ other people. I think it was mainly due to the fact w/ my girlfriend I had to walk on eggshells and do everything a certian, I somehow got the ieda that I had to do that with everyone which made me disconnect from a lot of people. I realized that no one knew who I was at the university so I could be anyone I wanted to be (of course it did not happen overnight) but at this point I am happy with the outcome. Only thing I wish is that the break up happened sooner rather than later.
(you could still be friends)

If you both are not happy in the relationship; what the point in having one?

hope that made sense

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Ξ.Ģäβž.Ξ offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (47 minutes after post)

ac19 wrote:
If you both are not happy in the relationship; what the point in having one?

I totally agree. When your in a relationship, it’s meant to be so you can enjoy each others company, not dread seeing each other.

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rodneyginok offline Verified User (6 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 6 months, 3 weeks ago (6 months, 1 week after post)

wow i feel the same way dude. I am in the exact same boat you are in. is your gf younger than you?

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snake_eyes91 offline Verified User (2 years, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
US | 6 months ago (6 months, 3 weeks after post)

Actually she is older. I made this decision and I am very glad for it! We are still friends but not as good of friends as I had hoped.

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1235 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 1 week ago (11 months, 3 weeks after post)

In a similar situation.
I broke up with the greatest girl I have ever met in my life. Something was missing… or at least it seemed to be missing. I ultimately broke up with her because I don’t know what I want. She is my first and only girlfriend I’ve ever had. She is so special to me. We both exchanged our appreciation for eachother and ended on good terms. We both knew by looking into each others eyes that there will be something in the future. I know we both love each other because we said it on the phone before I went to bed last night.

My dream result is that after haging out with some other few friends while being free I come to the rationalization that she is the one for me. I miss her like crazy but I won’t give in within the first week… at least.

I had thought about breaking up for a loooooooooooooooong time. You dont realize what you got till its gone… put it that way.

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