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How To Annoy Other Drivers, Part 2

Make sure you have at least one of the following bumper stickers:
“I may be slow but I’m ahead of you”
“If you don’t like my driving, get off the sidewalk”
“If you can read this, you’re too close”
“I’d rather be skiing”
“I brake for no apparent reason”
On multi-laned roads, always drive at the same speed as the vehicle next to you. Try to “box” in drivers behind you, who are attempting to pass.
Slow down drastically for every little bump in the road.
When driving in a lane that is going to end because of construction, ignore all the “LANE CLOSED - MERGE AHEAD” signs. Then wait until the last second and cut off the other drivers that had the common sense to switch lanes earlier.
When picking up a passenger during the early morning or late night, in a residential neighborhood, stop in front of the house and honk the horn. Either a series of long honks or in a melody of a song such as “Shave and a haircut” is appropriate.
While traveling down residential streets, drive 2 MPH and look at all the houses and landscaping. In fact, look everywhere except out the front windshield.
Women are encouraged to put on their make-up while driving.
You always have the right of way.
Your car stereo should be blasting music at approximately 900,000 dB.