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im so sorry =(
who exactly is “they”?
oh okay. well be honest with them. tell them whats bugging you!
was today your first time cutting? or do you do it often?
Anonymous edited this post 1 year ago. Read the previous text »
They don’t understand.
Today I got so angry with myself.
I cut myself.
They found out.
They got angry.
They asked what was wrong with me.
I told them that I felt overwhelmed, that I just wanted to go away and never come back.
You know what they said?
‘You’re overwhelmed?’ in a really sarcastic tone.
They think that they’re the only ones with problems.
Why can’t they understand me?
They want me to talk about it, but how can I when they get angry every time it comes up?
I just want to run away.
αиgєl♥ wrote:
oh okay. well be honest with them. tell them whats bugging you!
was today your first time cutting? or do you do it often?
I did tell them.
They didn’t react too well.
I haven’t cut in a while…maybe since three months ago.
I have suicidal thoughts occasionally…I try not to act on them.
I just got so angry with myself and had to do it.
oh alright… =S
why are you suicidal? likes whats overwhelming you so much?
αиgєl♥ wrote:
oh alright… =Swhy are you suicidal? likes whats overwhelming you so much?
I’ve got a few problems.
Depression.
Medical condition.
Problems with friends.
Bullying.
Sorry, I’m not meaning to be whiney.
no dont worry about it! youre not whiney.
this is what help.com is for =]
how old are you? still in school?
cause i noticed you added in that your parents wont let you go to a phyciatrist. you coud always go see your school counseller!
αиgєl♥ wrote:
no dont worry about it! youre not whiney.this is what help.com is for =] how old are you? still in school?cause i noticed you added in that your parents wont let you go to a phyciatrist. you coud always go see your school counseller!
Oh, okay. :)
Yeah, I’m still in school. In year 12.
I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist for two years. My parents got a bit iffy because they have this idea that I should be getting over it by now, and plus, it consts a lot of money for each session and for the medication I’m on.
Gah, ‘consts’ was meant to be ‘costs’…
oh yeah. well its good youre seeing someone… do you find they help at all?
Sort of.
I don’t know.
Sometimes I feel like seeing the doctor is one of the only things keeping me sane.
But other times I hate it so much.
Hate being seen as ’sick in the head’ and labelled as having a problem.
I hate it when my parents ask me if I’m feeling better and happier, in that really annoying way.
I hate being judged.
Jee…I hate a lot, don’t I?
Hate is natural in your situation. Everyone expects the mind to heal like the body. Depression isnt like a broken bone, you cant just bandage it for 6 weeks and be better. The people who dont understand have never felt the depths of hell rise up and consume their soul.
like bogdan said it makes sense to hate things in your situation. listen to him. he’s quite wise =)
Bogdan wrote:
Hate is natural in your situation. Everyone expects the mind to heal like the body. Depression isnt like a broken bone, you cant just bandage it for 6 weeks and be better. The people who dont understand have never felt the depths of hell rise up and consume their soul.
That’s exactly how I feel.
I wish people would stop being so naive and oblivious.
You’re parents need a reality check. If you are feeling overwhelmed, this is probably the root of the original “problem”.
The problems you have listed are not something to take lightly. Depression is terrible. So many people suffer from it, yet no one can effectively treat it. A real problem, through social, environmental and physical conditions.
May I ask, did the depression start before or after the medical conditions, friend problems and bullying?
I despise bullies. They are the worst thing in the world. The worst bully in my life I have not seen in over 4 years, and he still effects me greatly.
Bogdan wrote:
You’re parents need a reality check. If you are feeling overwhelmed, this is probably the root of the original “problem”.
The problems you have listed are not something to take lightly. Depression is terrible. So many people suffer from it, yet no one can effectively treat it. A real problem, through social, environmental and physical conditions.
May I ask, did the depression start before or after the medical conditions, friend problems and bullying?
I despise bullies. They are the worst thing in the world. The worst bully in my life I have not seen in over 4 years, and he still effects me greatly.
A major reality check.
It is a horrible problem.
So many people don’t get help because of the way society deals with it, I reckon.
I was born with the medical condition.
I’ve been bullied pretty much all my life, and the friend problems only started recently.
Bullying is terrible, it impacts on one’s life in the worst possible way.
Absolutely, but as you suggested, a lot of people are not helped due to the way society is constructed. I am a major hater of society and dont want to start a rant on it, but I find it to be the cause of a lot of issues.
Bullying is one of the worst things in the world. It uses the social construct to mark those as different subject to attack and ruin. I want to hurt them so bad. Make them suffer as they made others suffer. Verbal and emotional abuse in my opinion is worse than getting bashed. Again, bones heal but hearts and mind may not.
What are the friend problems? Is it enough to talk of them, or do you want help finding a solution because I can listen or try to help.
Society isn’t one of my favourite things either, and I completely agree that it starts a lot of problems.
Bullies have brains the size of amoebas. I wouldn’t want to hurt them back, just find some way of making them realise what a load of crap they are.
This year’s been pretty hellish on the friendship front. I lost some of my closest friends, they spread rumours about me and my other friends, and stopped talking to me for absolutely no reason at all. I’m now in a group of three, and my other two friends are excluding me like mad. I know it’s a stupid thing to feel like crap over, but it kind of sucks to be alone all the time.
Anonymous
#
1 year ago (1 hour, 2 minutes after post)
Well, I have to go.
Thanks for the help, I’ll try and get my parents to see straight somehow.
:)
No worries, take care and if you ever need to talk, I am pretty much always here. :D
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