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I feel very inferior to one of my friends…
She’s smarter than me. Not just grade-wise, either, although in that aspect we’re not way too different. She’s in a higher level science class than me (yes, that matters - I’m stuck in Biology while she’s already tested into Chemistry). Everyone likes her, including the guys (except like one, but whatever, same difference). I’m very shy, which makes people think I’m a *****, and she’s NEVER shy. I have hideous, bad acne, while she has nice, clear skin. I feel so incredibly inferior! I’m not jealous, but I just feel kind of sad. Gloomy about my inferiority. She’s a good friend, and she’s typically a kind person, but she also has this strange need to be dominant (not bossy usually, but she always has to be right). I don’t know how to change how I feel… Someone, please help me.
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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Anonymous changed the tags on this post: they were "friends, chemistry, Acne vulgaris, biology, science, Skin, friendship, Person, jealousy, bossy" 4 years, 6 months ago.
Shave her head while she is asleep
I think the only way to get over feeling inferior is to do things that make you feel confident in yourself. Have you tried doing things apart from your friend? Is there anything you’d like to do that you haven’t done yet, maybe a group you’d lke to join or a sport or a club? Getting over shyness will come with time (I can be shy too) especially when you do things that build your confidence in yourself.
As for the acne, that’ll pass with time, too, though there are creams and medicines you can try to help speed it along. Maybe give proactive a try, or try washing your face with Dove soap, it’s very gentle on skin and doesn’t strip it of moisture which could be contributing to break-outs.
Hope it helps!
Sorry, Dreamin_11, but that doesn’t help much. I do many things apart from my friend, but that doesn’t help at school. Also, I’ve had severe acne for a long time and I’m seeing a dermatologist, so I’ve already done all the stuff you suggested and much more and nothing’s working!
Hmmm.. I’m gonna be a little blunt. The only way thing I’ve ever heard of to get over feeling inferior is to build confidence in yourself (anybody feel free to jump in and prove me wrong!!). The good thing is that there are a million different ways you can start to do that but it all depends on you. There are always a ton of choices and options in life, though they aren’t always easy to pick between.
Right now I can see two very clear choices. You can continue to feel inferior to your friend which obviously hurts you, or, you can take steps towards building confidence. What are things you’ve done in the past that make you feel alive - things that bring out the best in you? Those are the things that are going to allow you to grow and be the person you want to be, you just have to find them (and I’m not saying it’s easy!).
Chances are if you’re feeling like this, you’ve been feeling like this for a while, right? It’s gonna take some time before things start to get better, but be patient and kind to yourself and things will change for the better.
I don’t mean to leacture or anything, it’s just that I know exactly how you’re feeling right now and I wish that I had had someone to talk to about it when I was your age.
I still say shave her head while she is asleep
Well, no, it hasn’t exactly been a while… This is actually the first time I’ve felt inferior to anybody. I mean, sometimes I’d feel a LITTLE bit inferior, but I’d always shake it off quickly and get back to doing my thing, and it was never such a broad or extreme feeling either. I feel inferior in almost EVERYTHING to her. I know it’s ridiculous, but I can’t shake it.
And NO, I will not shave her head. That would be mean.
aww i know what you mean, i’ve always felt inferior to my friends because they are thin and beautiful and the guys always like them. But you know, you cant compare yourself to her because you are a very different person. Work on your personality not looks because looks fade.
i totally know where you’re coming from. srsly, it sucks! xx
I am a guy, and I know I do not understand completely what its like, but I feel immensely inferior to some people in my life, including my brother. Everyone can do things better than me, and I can’t do anything or accomplish anything real. I have gotten into a variety of colleges and I am probably going to the Air Force Academy so I won’t be inferior to Fil.
Fil is the friend who I feel the most inferior to. My best friend, is his girlfriend. He is involved in every single activity that I am, even though I started them all before him. He, just like my brother joins into things and takes over, and gets everything right. It takes me alot of time to master most things, like riding the unicylce. I thought that was pretty unique, I felt good about that. My brother learned it in two days.
I auditioned for Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet. I’ve done 9 shows and this was my last Fall Play. Fil, whose done 4 got it. I auditioned for “Action” in West Side Story, Fil got it. I missed the election for Drama club president, Fil got it. I auditioned to be an Anchor on our newscast thing, Fil got it.
I’m a bit of a nerd, I admit, and I’m pretty hardcore academically. I got a 1950 on my SATs. Fil got a 2050. Also I’m into Star Wars, so is my friend Angela, whose his girlfriend. We were going to see “Star Wars In Conert” and of course he came and apparently knew everything about everything their.
I’m trying to seperate from him because he makes me feel worthless, but than so does my brother, and everyone I compete with, because they always win.
So listen to me, I know you feel inferior, and your not alone, and your also not inferior.
You are inferior. Deal with it and move on.
aaawh aaragonshasskaye, i really feel for you, that sounds horrible an i can in ways relate… i wonder tho why does this guy keep joining all the things you do?? myb really, deep down he is the insequre one who has to prove himself and boost his ego by showing he can do all this stuff too. I guess also between men, and also in socity in general, there is this unspoken comptativnss govrning our lives.. i rally dont like it, specially socitys conditionings that the ‘winner is best’.. actually in a way even tho it may not seem like it -however slow or long it taks you to larn somthing it oesnt matter.. you ar larning it in your way an it is bcoming more deeply ingrained in you.. you will also know the procss prehaps; the inticacies of the path that myb he will miss in his speedynss. You also sound lik a nic prson who is reflective and can stand back an obsrverve.. youve also demonstrated by writing here that your open, have senstivity and unafriad of displaying/sharing your feelings.. these ar REAL ‘human being’ qualities that are not just for show an that i hope you will com to see are immensly bneficial to you in your lif as it progrsses on. Also women, trust me, love men who are real, who can look at life, who feel and acnowlwge things rathr than being all about ’show’-these men ultimatly en up being quite dull really on the INSIDE. :) You are special, and you are unique.. there is noone other like you in this world. truly!! look for th subtl things.. those are oftn the things we miss about ourslves whn were looking for outside large an grand things..
anyway.. i just felt inspired to write that, aploogis for any of my atrotious spelling- wonky keyboard and sleepy head!
dont feel you hav to join the air force just to prove yourslf.. this will b full of comptative types anyway.. just join if its what you truly want to do.. if noone else mattered. you could also go work for a great charity, peace corps.. helping in th world.. where your efforts will be so grateful… makw a list of 100 crazy things.. anything ranom an put it on your list to do.. kep it to yourslf.. no on neeed know so cant stal it.. its just yours and no1 else has on th same.. feel good about that knowing your a creator of your own life..
your great dont worry :)
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