Why do I feel like this?
I hurt myself yesterday, and just for the heck of it. I wasn\\\’t feeling depressed or overwhelmed or even anxious. Today I was alright until I had a lesson and I freaked out afterward. I wanted so bad to go and hurt myself but I made sure that I went to class to keep myself from doing anything I would regret. Five minutes seemed like and hour and time was killing me today. I was jittery and I couldn\\\’t stop moving. I called to go and see my counselor right away because I was not able to wait until Thursday to get this all off of my chest. I felt a little better that I went to go see her. I had everything written down that was really bugging me. It was about a two page outline; I was planning on writing an email to her because I have problems talking about hurting myself. I showed her that and she was able to talk about things with me based off of that. I just tried taking a nap and I gave up after 45 min. My mind is just racing and I feel like I could freak out again anytime soon. I haven\\\’t really been able to cry, although I did a little in my session today. I just feel so overwhelmed with school and I can\\\’t concentrate on it all. I have so much to do and I feel like I can\\\’t do it. I know I need to sit down and do it but I feel sick at the thought of doing it all. I feel so helpless right now. I get really scared when I am down like this that I am going to do something stupid. I would never intentionally do it, but I get scared that I would. I almost feel like I could hyperventilate.
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