girl help: How to tell a girl to step up? - Help.com

She left and we both want our relationship back however I keep trying and all she is doing is ignoring me. She tells me to “step up” and I just get rejected because of her fear of being heart/her guards. She has to stop and accept my love. I can not make her happy if she blocks me

tell her that

i tried

well it dosnt apear she wants this as much as you maybe its a comfort thing eather way you cant make her ’step up’ so move on

its her loser ex, he cheated on her and she is still holding on and it makes her guarded
… I did not cheat

Once bitten twice shy Im afraid, she’s lost some trust. Give her some time, she may come around.

she’ll come around if I just stop talking to her but she’ll wait until the quarter is over. Then she’ll realize oh hey I am alone and really did care about him

I hear you anon, but if your good enough for her, then you’ll accept where shes at and the hurts shes got. Can you talk to her about her hurt? If she’s not ready, don’t make it worst by making her feel bad for not being ready.

Maybe you could show her your not like her ex?

Also, I agree that you should stand up for yourself. A solid “I’m not your ex” might seems harsh, but its might help.

I am exhausted, stressed, and hurt. She is an amazing girl if she just stopped.

I kind of said that her response is usually something like I know but I am being honest.. no one can control my feelings or some mess.

she knows I am better then her ex. She keeps saying she isn’t good enough for me, doesn’t deserve me, etc

Anonymous wrote:
I am exhausted, stressed, and hurt. She is an amazing girl if she just stopped. I kind of said that her response is usually something like I know but I am being honest.. no one can control my feelings or some mess.

she shares her feelings and you call is a mess? thats no so cool. she’s having a tough time, and it sounds like in conflict between being scared of loosing you, and being hurt again.

Take a breather for yourself, but then think what its like for her? If you want to help, then be there for her and accept her as she is and that she wants to heal. If not, don’t make it worst for her by getting frustrated at her.

i said mess because i don’t feel like typing it all. basically no one can control her feelings os stfu and live with it.

I need one and I know

understood, my mis-read.

Its frustrating yeah? you just want to get on with hanging out with a great girl, and she’s caught up in her past…

yes

I here you. Hmm, I can see the problem now. Because of your frustrated phrasing, I thought you were being pretty harsh on the girl but you want it to work out becaus eyou like her?

so whats the barriers and what have you tried?

I like her a lot.

Barriers= shes been hurt in the past and is scared to be hurt again so she puts a wall up though she doesn’t realize it.

Everything, lovey, space, ignoring, everything.

I really like her a lot but I can not continue like this. I deserve better I think my last bye I said will be the last thing I say.

If you want to move on, that’s your call. Just be honest with her about the why, and make sure you break up with her before going out with someone else, or she’ll just put up more walls for the next guy.

Good luck, which ever way you go.

I want her but she isn’t trying to anything.

Is she worth it?

if yes, then hang about as a friend and let her she your safe, and she might get be with you in time, but she might just keep you as a friend and break a few other guys hearts first.
or take some other way to gain her trust.

if shes not, then you can stop worrying about it.