This post left anonymously
I cut myself to release my pain…
ive been doing it for a while now…and now its not helping like it used too. Just today i took pills, hoping for relief and the feeling of being in control. Didnt really make a difference, i guess cause i only took 3 pills, and plus it was Tylenol. Maybe i should try another this time?
This open post was written 1 year ago | V/U/S: 435, 56, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
Reciprocity (0)
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
Post Tags (13)
Replies (56)
Where were you?
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
If you are contemplating suicide, hurting yourself, or you are seriously depressed: please, seek professional help!
Call this hotline (1-800-273-8255) operated by our friends at the
Suicide Prevention Lifeline, anytime, for free, professional, and
confidential assistance. While other Help.com users are likely to reply
to your post, please make sure you understand that your use of Help.com
falls under our TOS.
Note: I’m a robot that the Help.com staff created. If this response is in error, I apologize, please ignore it.
Perhaps you should get out and do something.
try to take an interest in things outside your immediate life.
the problem with cutting is it gives you a physical pain to replace the emotional one. That isn’t good enough.
if you could solve the emotional pain, you wouldn’t need to cause the physical.
do you have a friend you could talk to about what’s really hurting you? You need to let it out.
how often do you have a real good cry?
dont do that,,, u need to get some help..like professionally and im not just talking as someone judging u im telling u cuz i have been there myself i used to cut my legs and my arms, so i know what u r talking about but u really need to talk to a professional cuz we both know it isnt healthy and u will walk arounfd with scars forever!
cailean wrote:
Perhaps you should get out and do something.
try to take an interest in things outside your immediate life.the problem with cutting is it gives you a physical pain to replace the emotional one. That isn’t good enough.
if you could solve the emotional pain, you wouldn’t need to cause the physical.do you have a friend you could talk to about what’s really hurting you? You need to let it out.
how often do you have a real good cry?
yea…i do but i dont want to tell my friends anymore…i told of my friends about everything that bugs me..and how i view life..and she slowly started to view it my way…its like i rubbed my depression off on her..and that made me feel sooooo horrible about myself…and still does.. and because of that i dont want to tell any of my friends anymore.
YouWIsH wrote:
dont do that,,, u need to get some help..like professionally and im not just talking as someone judging u im telling u cuz i have been there myself i used to cut my legs and my arms, so i know what u r talking about but u really need to talk to a professional cuz we both know it isnt healthy and u will walk arounfd with scars forever!
yea..but my mom knows about my cutting problem..she thinks ive stopped..and she was supposed to take me to a psychiatrist..but she never took me..she thinks it really isnt nessecary.
YouWIsH wrote:
what exactly is bugging u so much?
…i dont even know how to say it..but pretty much everything.
Nothing makes sense…life seeems so pointless.
What started all this was actually my parents argueing soo much then…these guys that messed with me…and i still rem eveerything. My parents were in such a conflict at the moment..i didnt even bother telling them about this group of guys that bugged me alot…and i was only 13.
yea my mom kept telling me to see one too..but what stopped me was my daughter…cuz sometimes she would try to play with me and my arms would hurt from her brushing up against them, or when she sat in my lap..plus i dont want her to see that…and later ask me why do i have scars?
maybe it’s time you talked to your mum and showed her your arms or legs.
tell her that you feel totally devastated and lost and you want help before you do something more serious.
YouWIsH wrote:
yea my mom kept telling me to see one too..but what stopped me was my daughter…cuz sometimes she would try to play with me and my arms would hurt from her brushing up against them, or when she sat in my lap..plus i dont want her to see that…and later ask me why do i have scars?
yea …but after that moment..everything just went downhill for me…its soo hard to view everything in a positive way..everything just seems so wrong…
yea i feel the same way sometimes…lik eim just going backwards…u should talk to ur mom and really try to see someone..i wish i could! tell her u think u need to cuz i know talking to someone completly objective who wont judge u really helps
cailean wrote:
maybe it’s time you talked to your mum and showed her your arms or legs.tell her that you feel totally devastated and lost and you want help before you do something more serious.
yea but she doesnt want to accept the fact that something is wrong with her daughter… and i want to do something more serious..i have thought of suicide alot of times..but the ONLY thing that stops me is the fact that suicide is agaisnt our religion..other wise i would have been done it…
actually when i took the pills, i was planning on taking more…but i was thinking of just starting off with a little then add up slowly….
please dont do that! r u in school? u should talk to someone there..and there are hotlines u can call if ur mother wont listen..suicide inst the answer i promise!
YouWIsH wrote:
please dont do that! r u in school? u should talk to someone there..and there are hotlines u can call if ur mother wont listen..suicide inst the answer i promise!
yea…im only 14…..im turning 15 in a few days…
and i do see a social worker at our school…and she is the one that told my mom to take me to the psychiatrist…but my mom doesnt want me to go there….
like i said..ive been exactly were u are! but there is something for living for and for me it was my daugher…u have to find something that makes u happy..something to look forward too!
YouWIsH wrote:
like i said..ive been exactly were u are! but there is something for living for and for me it was my daugher…u have to find something that makes u happy..something to look forward too!
yea..but i dont want to depend on others for my happiness…i dont know when theyll let me down…if i had a daughter…then i would too..
YouWIsH wrote:
well dont u have goals u wanna reach?
i do…sometimes..but something always brings them down..i try my hardest in school…and the kids in my class who dont try at all get all the good grades..they get all the awards..and i get nothing…just a lecture from my teachers that i need to try harder…
YouWIsH wrote:
what do u wanna be?
i want to be a psychologist…but my dad wants me to be a doctor of some sort besides that…so some type of doctor i guess..
you can always compromise there. it’s still a PhD.
why don’t you tell your dad then, if your mum doesn’t believe you?
Dad’s usually listen to their little girls. I know I listen to mine.
cailean wrote:
you can always compromise there. it’s still a PhD.why don’t you tell your dad then, if your mum doesn’t believe you?Dad’s usually listen to their little girls. I know I listen to mine.
yea but he wants me to be something like a pediatrician or soemthing..yea but my mom doesnt want to take me caue of my dad…she thinks it and i think that it would dissapoint him alot..so thats why
well they both should put you first anyways…what best for you..not them
wait a second…you think it would disappoint him a lot if you went to a psychiatrist?
I take it you don’t want to disappoint your dad?
how do you think he would feel if you took your own life, and he could have done something about it?
he would blame himself forever. Your selfish act would deprive him of a daughter.
Sorry, but as a father…that would kill me.
You should definitely try to keep yourself occupied. You have no idea how much it helps. I know at first it may seem like it isn’t helping much but trust me you will be so relieved in the long run. I used to cut myself and after awhile it’s like you get tolerant of the pain to where it doesn’t help anymore. Taking pills is too dangerous and icky…unless they are the sugar coated kind. But still you should never resort to that. Go find some friends and meet new people
RainDancer wrote:
You should definitely try to keep yourself occupied. You have no idea how much it helps. I know at first it may seem like it isn’t helping much but trust me you will be so relieved in the long run. I used to cut myself and after awhile it’s like you get tolerant of the pain to where it doesn’t help anymore. Taking pills is too dangerous and icky…unless they are the sugar coated kind. But still you should never resort to that. Go find some friends and meet new people
yea…maybe
ill try to tell my dad tomorrow or my mom..and see what happens
cause i really dont want death..i want relief
good for you sapnay
maybe get them both together, show them your arms, and say I don’t want this any more, please help!!!
there will be lots of tears, but that’s a good thing!
be brave, you can do it
sapnay852 wrote:
YouWIsH wrote:
what do u wanna be?i want to be a psychologist…but my dad wants me to be a doctor of some sort besides that…so some type of doctor i guess..
I find that alot of people that go through issues like these, are like myself, they try to figure out what the heck is wrong with them and in the process, get introduced to things like Psychology. Have you tried taking any online tests to try and figure out the source of how you feel? Thats what I did… I didn’t understand why I wanted to hurt myself and how I was able to actually go through with it, and I was confused as to why I didn’t want to live… and scared that the just the thought of contemplating suicide ever crossed my mind. However, I took alot of online tests and eventually ended up talking with a few adults. It turned out that there actually was a problem going on.
And at first, I know that help isn’t exactly what you want, especially from an adult. You may think that suicide is the only way to go… but have you ever thought that maybe all you really want is to help yourself… by yourself? Because, I can honestly speak from experience that cutting, although it seems to work at first, just leaves ugly scars that you’ll live with for a very long time; guilt; and just an urge to cut more, which we both know, isn’t very healthy in the least bit.
Also, strangly enough, my mom was the one that wanted me to see a professional therapist, and my dad was almost dissappointed that his daughter wasn’t all he thought she was. Even through all the pill perscriptions and therapy sessions, he still doesn’t really take the issue seriously.
Please tell someone… it really does help. It may seem like complete hell at first but it gets better, I promise.
cailean wrote:
wait a second…you think it would disappoint him a lot if you went to a psychiatrist?I take it you don’t want to disappoint your dad?how do you think he would feel if you took your own life, and he could have done something about it?he would blame himself forever. Your selfish act would deprive him of a daughter.Sorry, but as a father…that would kill me.
Um.. I don’t really agree that suicide is just an act of selfishness… more of desparation.
sapnay852 wrote:
RainDancer wrote:
You should definitely try to keep yourself occupied. You have no idea how much it helps. I know at first it may seem like it isn’t helping much but trust me you will be so relieved in the long run. I used to cut myself and after awhile it’s like you get tolerant of the pain to where it doesn’t help anymore. Taking pills is too dangerous and icky…unless they are the sugar coated kind. But still you should never resort to that. Go find some friends and meet new peopleyea…maybe
ill try to tell my dad tomorrow or my mom..and see what happens
cause i really dont want death..i want relief
Yeah, I know. What I hate the most is when people think it is to get attention…I’m like if I wanted attention so bad I would go streaking around the town not hurt my body.
RainDancer wrote:
sapnay852 wrote:Yeah, I know. What I hate the most is when people think it is to get attention…I’m like if I wanted attention so bad I would go streaking around the town not hurt my body.
RainDancer wrote:yea…maybeill try to tell my dad tomorrow or my mom..and see what happenscause i really dont want death..i want relief
You should definitely try to keep yourself occupied. You have no idea how much it helps. I know at first it may seem like it isn’t helping much but trust me you will be so relieved in the long run. I used to cut myself and after awhile it’s like you get tolerant of the pain to where it doesn’t help anymore. Taking pills is too dangerous and icky…unless they are the sugar coated kind. But still you should never resort to that. Go find some friends and meet new people
yes..thats very true..very.
atr♥phy wrote:
Um.. I don’t really agree that suicide is just an act of selfishness… more of desparation.
no worries
it sucks..cuz peoplse see me and they’ll be like what happned to ur arm..and im like..ohg ****
u dont wanna have to walk around covering up all the time like me!
YouWIsH wrote:
it sucks..cuz peoplse see me and they’ll be like what happned to ur arm..and im like..ohg ****
yea same here..and im tired of covernig my arm allthe time and thinknig of excuses everytime some does see it.
YouWIsH wrote:
it sucks..cuz peoplse see me and they’ll be like what happned to ur arm..and im like..ohg ****
I just always wear long sleeves…but if for some reason they do actually get to see my arms I am like oh I was cutting down blackberry bushes
that’s yet another reason to stop, or get help
RainDancer wrote:
[quote YouWIsH] I am like oh I was cutting down blackberry bushes
hehe sorry… random.
I always said that it was my puppy..
YouWIsH wrote:
i said it was a cat
yea but then my little 9 year old sister saw my marks..on my arm and my ankle area…and she doesnt believe about the cat excuse at all…
sapnay852 wrote:
YouWIsH wrote:yea but then my little 9 year old sister saw my marks..on my arm and my ankle area…and she doesnt believe about the cat excuse at all…
i said it was a cat
so did my sister… how old is yours?
well my whole family thinks im psycho or something now..so that sucks too…it just wanst worth it…my sister is 18. but it was worse for me cuz people at work wereasking me,,it was sooo embarrasing
this is why I stopped. life got so stressful I thought I was gonna …. I don’t even know. Something awful..
atr♥phy wrote:
sapnay852 wrote:so did my sister… how old is yours?
YouWIsH wrote:yea but then my little 9 year old sister saw my marks..on my arm and my ankle area…and she doesnt believe about the cat excuse at all…
i said it was a cat
9 years old
wow me too…. crazy.
maybe try to tell her… well… actually.. it might scare her and she might blab. Um… and she might not understand…
my sister still doesn’t know.. maybe (this might be lame) you could be symbolic and be like “I keep falling and I dont know how to stop… I need help cuz it really hurts every time I fall down..”
it might be a tad bit simpler for her to understand, even though you’re not telling her straight up what happened, she’ll understand on a level she can comprehend… if you know what I mean..
atr♥phy wrote:
it might be a tad bit simpler for her to understand, even though you’re not telling her straight up what happened, she’ll understand on a level she can comprehend… if you know what I mean..
no its not lame..i should do something like that.
atr♥phy wrote:
it might be a tad bit simpler for her to understand, even though you’re not telling her straight up what happened, she’ll understand on a level she can comprehend… if you know what I mean..
yea i know what you mean
I got to go though guys… much love to you guys ♥
Sapnay… I really hope things work out. I’ll check in tomorrow and see what else you guys wrote. Feel free to ask me stuff. Cuz girl, I’ve been there. Honestly.
sapnay852 wrote:
atr♥phy wrote:no its not lame..i should do something like that.
it might be a tad bit simpler for her to understand, even though you’re not telling her straight up what happened, she’ll understand on a level she can comprehend… if you know what I mean..
Just give it a go.. see how it goes. Its something my sister would understand enough.. nothings wrong with being metaphoical.. right?
So night y’all.
3
atr♥phy wrote:
sapnay852 wrote:
YouWIsH wrote:
what do u wanna be?i want to be a psychologist…but my dad wants me to be a doctor of some sort besides that…so some type of doctor i guess..
I find that alot of people that go through issues like these, are like myself, they try to figure out what the heck is wrong with them and in the process, get introduced to things like Psychology. Have you tried taking any online tests to try and figure out the source of how you feel? Thats what I did… I didn’t understand why I wanted to hurt myself and how I was able to actually go through with it, and I was confused as to why I didn’t want to live… and scared that the just the thought of contemplating suicide ever crossed my mind. However, I took alot of online tests and eventually ended up talking with a few adults. It turned out that there actually was a problem going on.
And at first, I know that help isn’t exactly what you want, especially from an adult. You may think that suicide is the only way to go… but have you ever thought that maybe all you really want is to help yourself… by yourself? Because, I can honestly speak from experience that cutting, although it seems to work at first, just leaves ugly scars that you’ll live with for a very long time; guilt; and just an urge to cut more, which we both know, isn’t very healthy in the least bit.
Also, strangly enough, my mom was the one that wanted me to see a professional therapist, and my dad was almost dissappointed that his daughter wasn’t all he thought she was. Even through all the pill perscriptions and therapy sessions, he still doesn’t really take the issue seriously.Please tell someone… it really does help. It may seem like complete hell at first but it gets better, I promise.
cailean wrote:
wait a second…you think it would disappoint him a lot if you went to a psychiatrist?I take it you don’t want to disappoint your dad?how do you think he would feel if you took your own life, and he could have done something about it?he would blame himself forever. Your selfish act would deprive him of a daughter.Sorry, but as a father…that would kill me.Um.. I don’t really agree that suicide is just an act of selfishness… more of desparation.
yea your right…but i always try to talk to my mom..she’s just now, so i dont want to bug her..and also she’s always busy and we NEVER get the time to sit and have a good long talk, unless everyone in our house is asleep and it is 2 or 1 in the morning. I wish we get those moments a lot more.
so what does she say when you guys do talk?
YouWIsH wrote:
so what does she say when you guys do talk?
Well i like this guy alot…i hadnt liked anyone for a while..and this guy was someone i liked after such a long time..and my mom found out about him. My parents dont alow me to talk to guys, and this guy likes me too. Well we both like eachother and his parents and my parents found out that we both talk. So my mom just tells me in different ways why i shouldnt talk to him..not just him but guys in general. She’s ok that we like eachother…but she says im too young. Well and the guy i like, when his parents found out..they were realllly mad too cause his parents dont let him talk to girls. So she just sorta talks about him…she doesnt say not to talk to him straight up but she gives signs. But me and the guy did try to stop talking to eachother…and he ended up doing weed and taking pills… and i ended up cutting myself ALOT more then i usally do..and this was only one day we didnt tlak to eachother. So we settled that we will still talk to eachother..but as friends. So basically she SORTA talks about him, and our religious views.
but does she say anything about ur cutting? or does she ignore it?
YouWIsH wrote:
but does she say anything about ur cutting? or does she ignore it?
well it seems as if she trys her best to ignore it.
She really doesn’t like talking about it.
I dont know why though.
I guess cause she gets a little emotional, and she did start crying the last time we talked about it.
But after i cut myself and she made me promise that i wouldnt do it again, i still did it . I literally went crazy over my arm, and she saw it too, but she “ignored” it.
She didnt really ask me if i did it again.
Invite Others to Help
A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.
