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Well i just dont know what to do…
Firstly…
On friday i got grounded. Day started normally, at the stables mucking out, went shopping and then went back, dressed up the ponies and went trick or treating with them. I went to my aunts with the ponies and i found my cuzin and his ultra fit best friend. They tagged along, i was late back to the stables and home, to top it all my parents found tobacco in my bag. So yeah, it wasnt the first time they caught me smoking and i doubt it will be the last and the punishments just keep getting worse.
Secondly…
My cuzons friend, Well basically ive liked him for like ages and then he left school and im in the year below him and fruday was so good it was like wow, and tbh hes been quite flirty with me ever sinse and i just dont know what to think of if cuz weve been flirty with each other for like a year now.
Thirdly…
Me and pony friends decided to borrow pony funds tp get drink which we definately put back and we had a bit to drink but now everyone is in a giant mood with me seemingly.
Fourthly…
All of my family are being complete **** holes. Theey are all acting as if they hate me (they probably do) , like my sister told me to jump off the roof and so on. I just dont know what i should do. I used to self harm and i havent had the urge since counsilling until yesterday. And me and my two friends are a group of three and its so hard for all of us to get along and so consequently ive always been the favoured one. I didnt like it because there would be conflict over me but now it seems that im not any of thier favorites any more. I just dont see why we can be equal instead of choosing favourites.
Lastly…
Im so behind on coursework and everything, ive also got the stress of exams and future careers and other stuff. Like i think ive made up my mind to join the army but im just not sure, I feel like im too younge to make the possibly life/death decision. But i want to get out and set up as quick as i can so i can make a fresh start and live life. Im also trying so hard to loose weight. I used to be on laxatives, now i make myself sick and its like the scales tell me that ive tost weight but when i look in the mirror theres like this massive bulge of rolls and gross fat. Im thinking of going back on the laxatives again but im not sure.
I just dont feel like being here anymore, i just cant stand alll of the arguements everywhere i go, even instide of me. Can anyone help me to solve these please?
thanks x
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