boyfriend help: My boyfriend seems to point out things, such as my moles, my - Help.com

Have you told him this?

This is actually very normal, not that he points out your flaws, but that he is trying to lower your self-esteem. He may not realize it, but he is doing it. This is what you call a “mate-retention behavior”. Guys do it to girls in order to keep them subservient, and retain their mate. It’s right up there with accussations of infidelity (cheating). I will admit, I’ve engaged in mate-retentive behavior before. Here’s a study: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17…
that analyzes the behaviors of men and women in retaining their mate.

So here’s the good news! He is lowering your self esteem because he desires you!

Here’s the bad news, relationships aren’t as healthy as people make them up to be!

http://bps-research-digest.blogspot.c…

Here’s another link on the subject

Hey the guy im talking to does that to me as a matter of fact every guy ive talked to did that to me. They always point out things that i hate about myself but they dont know i hate them. I eventually tell them though

cabesa de fuego wrote:
http://bps-research-digest.blogspot.c…

Here’s another link on the subject

Hey i dont like what i read on that site. It was a good site but i dont like the fact that these men can potentially turn violent physically or mentally. Im going to have to have a sit down with this guy real soon….

All men can become violent.

I know which is why i am so defensive esp towards men

Yeah, you deserve someone who will treat you right..

Exactly because as soon as they see you let your guard down they will run all over you. At least some men will and i dont have time for that. No man will control me no matter what because i will cut it short if i feel he is out of hand before the relationship gets too serious

I hope you (poster) will voice your concerns to your boyfriend and hopefully he cares about you enough to respect your feelings and change his ways. If he is not willing to compromise then you might need to reconsider your relationship…