Love help: I’m concerned that I’m in love with my husband for - Help.com



This post left anonymously

I’m concerned that I’m in love with my husband for

all of the reasons that make an arranged marriage succeed and not for any of the ideallic stories that I hear.
My family didn’t pick him for me, though both families are absolutely in love with the match. He’s a good provider, a good worker, devoted, stable and…well, boring.
But lovable. All the same.
I’m just worried because there was not and never has been any sparking raging fire of love…

This open post was written 1 year ago | V/U/S: 123, 3, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


Reciprocity (0) Reciprocation Failure -- The poster has NOT helped anyone else yet!

Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

Post Tags (10)

marriage, concerned, Love, Family, fire, Scientific Classification, Match, arranged marriage, Arrangement, Has Been (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (3)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

sarisa_grimwing offline Verified User (1 year, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 5 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (2 minutes after post)

Well then if there is no spark or no relationship feeling then yes you are married to him just so you will feel stable and everyone else wants you to be. That is my opinion.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: Ft stewart does it again.
maggie2101 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (15 minutes after post)

I think so too. If you just married him for him to be a good provider, then you made the choice yourself, but if you loved him once think about why you loved him. Don’t try to change him and make him the man you want to fall in love with, because you never can change people, they have to change for them selfs… Think seriosly about your relationship…

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
This account has been deactivated.
chev.jame offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (1 hour, 30 minutes after post)

Too many women seeking “Camelot” end up with “Garbagelot.” Have some realistic expectations. The guy had some really good qualities that attracted you. But for some reason, women have a penchant to choose “bad boys.” These women are initially titillated by the “bad boy behavior,” but then their life turns to sheer misery. Why? Because their “bad boy” never grows up and becomes a real man. You sound like you have a real man. And you CAN think loving thoughts about him . . . until these thoughts just generate spontaneously!

P.S. Make sure you are NOT one of those women who feel they don’t “deserve” a loving, hard-working, faithful husband who tries to be a good provider. A LOT of women destroy their marriages because they don’t feel they deserve a loving husband and a happy home. Believe it or not . . . it happens, and it happens a lot.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.