Family help: My mom is severly emotionally abusive. - Help.com

My mom is severly emotionally abusive.

My mom has always been severely emotionally abusive. She was sexually and emotinally abused as a child. I know that as a part of my own emotional abuse.

I am the oldest of five. The youngest one is five. When I was three years old my father died, leaving my mom with two kids and a pregnancy, without a clue, without caring family. She left the town she grew up in and moved somewhere she had never been before. Even though she was pregnant at the time with two young, young children, she managed to find a man, and when the pregnancy she brought with her had matured into a baby, she found herself pregnant again in no time.

I’ve always felt like this was a huge problem I was drowning in. Always. I remember being really young, maybe eight, nine, sitting in my room (we lived in the country, to allow the ‘man’ she found to manufacture dope secretly) with no one to talk to, thinking “well this is it. I need to make sure that my siblings know she’s crazy, because we’re all on our own. We are in charge of raising Us.”

It wouldn’t suck so bad if I was an only child. It wouldn’t suck so bad if Mom was the only Mom I knew of that was this way. But, fact is, she was abused to the point where life was all about survival, and, well, that was it. 18 years after my father died, she’s still shattered. She won’t leave the house. She won’t teach her 17 year old son how to drive, and she won’t allow him to attend drivers ed.

Seriously.

She’s so controlling that I missed my first date, and I’ve spent my whole childhood in small towns are just on the outskirts of a town.

The very oldest memory I have, is my mom sitting me in front of a mirror, telling me, ‘You see how ugly you look when you cry?’ I knew it was an attempt to make me stop crying. I couldn’t do anything but look at her and think “why are you so crazy” (i remember that specifically) and feeling so, so alone. (I remember that too).

I don’t know what to do now. My brothers are alone. They don’t have a dad or a mom. I was the closest thing they had to a mother. I moved away from my family two years ago. They’re drowning in it alone now. I feel so horrible. My mom told the five year old that I hate him and I don’t like him and that’s why I moved. (This is a lie).

What can I do? The abuse is mostly emotional. The stepdad in the picture ignores the children he didn’t biologically father, so it’s a pure, steady dose of neglect always to the side of the litter I belong to, even though he’s frighteningly nice and loving to the youngest two (It’s hard for me to think any part of him could be kind or loving) and I am so worried sick that he might touch either one of them innappropriatly. I don’t know what I can do. I missed the point of ‘Hey teacher, my parents… whatever’. And that’s probably why I never reached that point. I don’t know what to say. And I’ve been to foster homes. Three of them. They’re no good. If I have to choose whether my siblings are emotionally or emotionally abused, I might as well let them live together, so they’re not totally alone.

This open post was written 1 year ago | V/U/S: 289, 2, 1 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

Town, Emotion, pregnancy, Family, Drowning, man, Year, Child, Sibling, father, suicide, depression, Guilt (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.