friends help: I am kind of a loner….well yeah I am a loner. - Help.com

Do you have a social anxiety ? Do you only have these attacks when you know you will be around your BF’s friends ? Or does this happen with anyone ?

you think forget about about your past , cause your past made you who you are , you can only accept them and move on with your life, what is done is done …

IDon’tEverQuit wrote:
I’m 23 years old and it’s ridiculous!

It’s not rediculous. It’s a social phobia that can be really frustrating. Do a search on here (help.com) for “social phobia” and you will see that your not alone.

Find a therepist that can work with this. Let your boyfriend know that this has become a bigger problem for you. Your young, you need to get out there and socialize. You do realize, if you cant share his interests, he may loose his. Many people have anxiety disorders and it is very treatable.

I agree with them, really.

Nothing wrong with being a loner if you are happy!

Alright. So when you think about your panic, why do you think it exists? What exactly about a situation such as being around your boyfriend and his friends makes you feel so anxious?
Is there a way you can prepare yourself for this so you are aware of it? Like, sit down for a couple of minutes and breathe. Think about those thoughts that really scare you. And ask yourself “Why am I scared of this?” Feel how your body reacts to this answer.
Then ask yourself. “What is the worst that could happen?” Evaluate this.
Then remember what it will be like after the evening is over. You will be able to relax more, and that panic will subside. It won’t last forever.

Well, if you are not happy, you should get profession help my friend. Being happy is what life is about…do what you have to do to be all you can be…

You just need to get comfortable with people. Do you go on errands with him. Make yourself say hi or comment on a shopkeepers good taste. Or my mother has that set. Its so pretty. Get the idea, be casual in meeting strangers, take notice of something to comment on. You will be rewarded by smiles or thanks. You can start practicing and become relaxed with social situations.

I’m sorry, I am about to write ALOT of stuff. So get ready.
Okay, I realize this might sound strange, but I figured I’d throw it on the table since I’ve had social issues myself..and I’m only a couple years older than you. First, are you on any medications at all? ANY? Even BC pills?
And secondly, you should research some herbal treatments.
Let me explain.
I’ve been through several phases in my life. My entire school life up to high school, I had no friends. I went to a very small school that was nothing but a clique. Everyone knew everyone..and I just couldn’t relate with any of the people there. Yuck! So of course after graduation I stepped into the real world thinking it’s going to be the same way..and life probably won’t be very fun at all. But after a couple of years in college, I really came out of my shell. I met alot of interesting and FRIENDLY people..and had tons of friends. Things were going well..and then I started taking BC pills due to medical issues. And slowly…without realizing it, my entire personality completely changed back to a closed up shell of a person. I reverted back to being afraid of talking to people. I felt like they wouldn’t like me, or I’d say or do something stupid around them..so I just sat there quietly if my b/f wanted me to come hang out with his friends. I’d try to say something, but it felt like every time I did, everyone would get quiet and just wonder why I said that. When in reality, they weren’t thinking that badly about me. One day I woke up from some kind of dream…and I realized that I’m not me…why would I want to waste my life away hiding in a shell like I’d been. It took awhile of researching to figure out what had happened to me..and why I was getting more and more afraid of even speaking around people. I’m pretty sure I found the answer (for me). I found alot of information about how BC pills affect hormones..it’s a very drawn out process..and unfortunately it can affect your personality after awhile. Make you just feel kind of blah or stressed out or anything along those lines. Well, I can’t very well stop taking them, so I continued researching and found out about an herb that pinpoints your hormonal system and balances out all of your hormones. It’s a root that has been well-known for centuries. It’s called Maca..(that’s the short name). There aren’t any side effects other than possible insomnia..but it balances everything, and gives you a sense of well-being. I started taking it about a month ago, and after about a week, I woke up feeling a spark of excitement (just about life in general)..something I forgot about completely, but used to feel alot of when I was younger. Since then…I’ve been getting better and better..and I have started talking to more people without any fears at all. And even my b/f seems happier that I’m more alive.

I know this is far-fetched, but you sound ALOT like how I used to feel about dealing with people…so I wrote a novel for you :D Sorry! :)

I hope this helps !!

im sorry. i know how you feel. i go through anxiety and panic attacks as well and i know how hard they can be. last night i had a panic attack that owuldnt seem to stop. theyre scary….
but they are treatable! i havnt found help yet to be honest but im still a lot better than i used to be. try everything people suggest on here and just try and hcnage your way of thinking. its the hardest thing to do but it helps.
you should try another physchiatrist (no idea how to spell that lol) they could give you meds and they might help.
if you need to talk about it, just to let feelings out or w.e tell me. ill be here for you. xoxoxo

Well the maca stuff isn’t medicine. It’s just a root that people eat. You can get it in pill form, but it’s not medicine at all..it’s just an herb. I don’t like medicine either. But that was just a suggestion.

What have you done other than taking medications to help you? Breathing exercises are good. Recognizing how you react to situations helps you learn how to handle them, etc…
It’s really a matter of control. Not an easy task but one that can be tackled with patience

The “symptoms” you have are most often related to some things in your childhood that affected you. Perhaps your parents are very strict, sometimes punitive. Perhaps they didn’t often encourage nor manifested much love and appreciation towards you. Therefore, you have developed as an individual who is not very comfortable with other people, for fear of doing something wrong or being criticized. These are irrational beliefs associated with strong emotions, mechanisms that you can break using the same weapon: your thoughts. Some therapists recommend gradual relaxation techniques which help you deal with you panic, fear and doubt. Then, there is Beck’s cognitive therapy. If you are willing follow a therapy yourself, you’ll save money and feel great about yourself in the end.

Best wishes!

Love what people are offering here anon, I’d like to add an herb called Valerium, it is natural and a root used to make valium. It will relax you, my mother in law turned me on to it. All natural. Another is Clarity, made by Greenhouse Nutritionals, it is for balancing moods and boosting mental focus. Another is called, Alpha Calm, an anti stress formulation, it promotes profound relaxation without causing drowsiness. Hope you are taking in suggestions from all these good folks that are reaching out to help. All replys are excellent and heartfelt. I love this site, dont you?
Shout anytime and hope you are having a good day. Panic is scary and makes you feel helpless and lost, good for you for not settling for this. I want you to feel in control instead of out of control fear. Keep talking hun, we all care how you are doing. Can you tell us what you would like to try and what seems do-
able for you.
Another idea that came to me. Are you comfortable with children, read storys at a day care, or old people, go by a nursing home and spend time talking. Old people have seen it all and would love some company. Many are forgotten, sadly. You could read the paper to them or show pictures, or just ask them about their life. It could really help you work on your problem and help someone else at the same time. A win, win for everyone.

Valium is good to reduce anxiety. So try that herb 2greeneyes mentioned.

Try reading a book about confronting your fears. Because once your in a social situation, it all becomes a vicious cycle.
Your nervous - you fidget and stumble over words - doing so makes you even more nervous…