Punishment help: I want to punish myself… i dont - Help.com

The worst way to punish yourself, when you feel like this , is to be kind to yourself.
It’s the one thing you most, dont want to do.

I dont deserve to be. I have lost so much in my life and I cant keep going.

There’s a lot more to come yet, isn’t there? Perhaps you can tell us more about it.

Some one has just posted this today. http://help.com/post/215934-for-anyon… Perhaps it might help you to see. You should always try your best. With what gifts you do have.

a miscarriage, break up.. yeah i know theres loads more to come but I cant get through this part of it….

yeah I just saw that, had me in tears… i admire him so much, if that was me I would have given up a long time ago… he really is an amazing man…

I take it your a female. You can be an amazing woman if that is so, or an amazing man if it isn’t.
You could be the person to help others, that feel the way you do.

You are probbably filled with grief, anger, sorrow and all of the other things that go with your problem.
You have to work on them one by one. So hard to do. Not impossible though.
Gather just an ounce of strength form me here, now. Start fighting back and beat this thing.

thats the problem, I dont want to… i know its selfish, but im sick of doing things for others… I just dont want to get over this. I dont care enough about myself anymore..
yep im a female

You can’t blame urself for whats all happened can’t all be ur fault. So u shouldn’t be punishing urself. If i had to punish myself for all the wrong i did i would could function at all

The secret of this is to take these weaknesses and to turn them into strengths. You matter we all do. Dont give up on yourself or others. I think deep down you do want to get over it all.

no I want it back but I cant have it, I want my baby back… and I want my ex back… neither of them wil happen though…

Selfish is OK. you need to be alright within yourself first. Then you are ready to help others if you wish to.
If you cant have what you want back, you are chasing the impossible. You need to accept it. Then start going after things you can get.

You need to cry, rant ,rave, loose your temper, get angry and anything else that relieves the tension and sorrow. Then comes a time when you are so, so tired and weak.
That is the time to soul search and find the things to build yourself back up again, slowly does it though. It takes time.

Now I am hoping that some one else can give you comforting words, I have invited two other users to try to give you that.

Hello. Thep invited me and I hope I can help a little.

It sounds like you are still grieving the loss of your child. Grief can be a strange thing. It can make us feel things that we would not normally feel. It can make us want to give up. But it’s important to remember that grief will fade in time.

Also, if your miscarriage was recent, you are still going through massive hormonal flux. This is going to have an effect on your emotions. I would recommend visiting your doctor and telling him how you feel.

I have some useful support links which I think may help and will fish them out for you too.

Are you in UK, US or elsewhere? I would like to make sure I get the right information for you.

I think the poster has left. I have a feeling they will be back.

This article provides some useful tips which you might like to try to help you cope.

http://www.womens-health.co.uk/miscar…

This site is a support group especially for women in your situation. It too has excellent advice and there are people there that understand exactly what you are going through and with whom you can talk if you wish. Talking is crucial to help you to understand your feelings and be able to cope with them.

http://www.miscarriageassociation.org…

These sites are both UK sites. If you would like me to locate something similar for you in another country, just let me know.

Hello honey. I understand your pain of suffering a miscarriage. I have been there. You may not wish to here this but 1 in 6 pregnancies end this way. Was this your first pregnancy?

I feel your partner has run away because he couldn’t cope with this situation. Am I right?

thanks for all your support guys. the miscarriage was about 13 months ago, you’d think I would be over it by now.
Smoogie he hasnt left because of that, that brought us closer and we have been living together the past year…
im out of ideas of what to do….

Hang in there Anonymous.

We are sometimes answering more than one post at a time. smoogie will be back as soon as she can, after recieving you message.

You never do quite get over it.. but what you can do is learn coping strategies that allow you to resume a normal life and accept what happened.

I think that reading up as much as you can about what occurred will help you to rationalise it. There is always something new to try .. you need to be pro-active and find ideas that might work. The good thing is that you are doing that by coming here. It’s an excellent start.

You might like to consider taking up a new form of exercise or attending a relaxation class. Try new therapies like yoga or aromatherapy. Sometimes taking a completely different route to managing your depression can be suprisingly effective. Join a class.. pottery, art, poetry..whatever takes your fancy. This will allow you to meet new people, to re-direct focus away from your grief and getting creative helps you to regain balance.

Do discuss with your doctor how you feel. It would be worth getting a thorough check-up as there could be a health issue causing much of your depression that he could help you to resolve medically.

Things will work out just fine. You’ll see. It takes courage and I think you have that deep inside you. Let it come to the surface for a while.

I am so sorry anon. Thank you for explaining you situation a bit clearer for me. It takes along time to get over a loss like this. I suffered mine 5 yrs ago. It still hurts sometimes, but since then I have had a baby girl. If you feel that you are never going to get over it your right. But you will eventually get through it.

O.k. sweetheart. Please, I will be back here tomorrow to talk some more. Try to get some sleep.

Anonymous.
I to have to go now. It is nearly 1-00am here and I have to get up early. Will check your post again tomorrow.
Good night.