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In a land far away…

who had several large

one humid summers night. She was rather

which was on the planet mars, so

for a little while. They agreed so

After a short flight, she arrived

Due to the unusual effect of certain plants on the Martian surface, she forgot her previous mission and

Not the teenage mutant ninja variety as may be expected

discovered their nest

lets loose a stream of fire from their beaks.

because it is a dream, or was. The distinction between reality and fantasy has become hard to make since

due to brain injury suffered as a child. Wolves

and she tripped into a void spirit

killing her on impact. After this, she was put back together again by some passing aliens

where outrageous genetic experiments were performed.

and she became

a redneck.

A rock lobster!

and ate her beloved teddy bears, she’s had since a child!

Lametably, her appetite could not be satiated. She ravenously

ate her own leg as she could not find anything else. Then she

went swimming

and sank like a stone, but alas, the fluffing, in the stuffing of the teddy bears brought her back to the top. When suddenly, she was plucked from the water by a….

giant flying PIG but it dropped her on…

where the famous tribe of wild

elves gave her a

magic compass that pointed to whatever she wanted most :D

the compass imediatly pointed to

her half eaten leg stump.

Ofcourse, her other two legs were more than enough to keep her walking.

but it made walking harder than normal because these two legs were located in her stomach.

Mutated centaurs really are strange creatures, she was the last of her breed. Natural selection was to her as Chuck Norris was to tears, roundhouse kick them into oblivion.

Kelborn the Unruly was his name, and he led the recent revolt by the penguin peasant police.

but the LEP was quashing it quickly… when she found her penguin she

offered it her blood in exchange for an eternity of service

quickly scooped him up and ate him whole. but he wasn’t dead

He wasn’t quite alive either. As the centaur mutant fused with the penguin, a giant monster reminiscent of Power Rangers (Series 1) became visible.

however, poor Linda-Kelborn hated the power rangers, and therefore hated her new form. so,

she transcended her physical form and left only a note pledgeing that one day, within the next thousand years, she would reincarnate in the form of a

so this zebra is taking a walk and comes upon a lion who says