friends help: So, my boyfriend and I finally call it quits after a tumultuous & unhealthy 4 months. - Help.com

So, my boyfriend and I finally call it quits after a tumultuous & unhealthy 4 months.

However, he’s going into surgery and it just seems like I should be there to support him? We have a history of breaking up/getting back together ad nauseam. Funny thing is, I think the reason we met was so that I could get him onto a healthy track of life. He has no family and one friend. Should I step in for support?

This closed post was written 12 months ago | V/U/S: 311, 9, 3 | Edit Post | Report Post


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Since writing this post WillaTree may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. WillaTree is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 11 months and has 26 posts and 213 replies to their name.

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friends, life, history, surgery, Family, humour, reason, boyfriend, track, Step, support, loved one, Temptation (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (9)

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iwana offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 5 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (8 minutes after post)

If he really doesn’t have anyone else, it would be good of you to help him out. I know it might be hard, but it would be a kind thing to do. Who initiated the breakup this time?

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WillaTree offline Verified User (1 year, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 26 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (12 minutes after post)

I suppose I initiated but we had a discussion the previous night that there was no future or marriage down the line for me with him. He left in a rage, threw the book I was reading across the room, and took a present that he bought me just a few hours beforehand. We’ve had about 20 break ups in a 4 month period-it’s been hell, but on the other hand I do care for him. There’s no way we would remain ‘friends’.

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Help me with: I’ve been dating a man for a month.
WillaTree offline Verified User (1 year, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 26 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (13 minutes after post)

(He left in a rage the day after I told him the no marriage portion.)

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Help me with: I’ve been dating a man for a month.
:::XxTrustxX::: offline Verified User (12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (1 hour, 20 minutes after post)

Yes u shuld but do u like him?

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kitt e offline Verified User (1 year, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 11 #
An Undisclosed Location | 12 months ago (12 hours, 1 minute after post)

I think that if you feel like you should be there for him for his surgery, then go for it. I’m sure surgery is a pretty scary thing, no matter what kind..and it’d be nice to have some support and someone to be there afterwards.

I want to ask something! How come you said there’s no future or marriage with you? Are you just not into the idea of marriage, or do you see him as just temporary?

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Vjj offline Verified User (12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (14 hours, 17 minutes after post)

You do make it sound like he needs you for support, but it could be confusing and more hurtful in the end too. You should probably stay back until you know that you definitely do or don’t want him as your boyfriend so don’t fall back into the breaking up / getting back together cycle.

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WillaTree offline Verified User (1 year, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 26 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (15 hours, 14 minutes after post)

Thanks Lizzievj. I think it’s best to stay away although I’d like to be there but the temptation is too great. I definitely see no future in us b/c he’s verbally abusive and his words do not follow his actions and we fought daily and the fact that he’s not interested in the world around us. He’s one of those bad boys that I never got to ‘experience’.

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Help me with: I’ve been dating a man for a month.
Vjj offline Verified User (12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (19 hours, 57 minutes after post)

Then I kinda think for your own safety it would be best to keep some distance. If he really needed you he’d appreciate you. Well, I hope he would.

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