Love help: Names and locations have been changed out of courtesy of the people in this situation - Help.com

Names and locations have been changed out of courtesy of the people in this situation
“Considering that I’m not a woman, and I will never know or begin to understand how a woman thinks or feels I’m at a crossroads…..
also I can definitely understand some bias form your advise considering the circumstances and the events that led to sed circumstances its difficult to express as to portray the events as close to their true forms and occasions. well then …
As you may or may not know Julia and I had a brief, relationship in HIgh school. It was the best and happiest time of my life. after about two weeks I ended the relationship, I would rather not say why at the moment, and the separation was very difficult. The entire break up was hard, for I still had feelings for Julia and I think she for me, but once again I would rather not say why, I was compelled… no obligated to not peruse those feelings. As I prepared my self to return to Fresno, I so desperately longed to continue a contact with Julia that mutually we both decided to try at a friendship. At first it was strange, and then the inevitable jealousy struck (me) and the beginning of our friendship was at a crossroads. Thankfully Julia understood and forgave my stubbing/rood-behavior and our friendship grew with effort on both parts, but honestly more effort form hers and on my graduation day I asked her to kiss me one last time as a final remembrance. Thankfully she refused my advices and we parted ways. after that we continued to stay very much in touch calling each other every weekend until suddenly she stopped responding. Sidetone during this time I was going through a severe mental breakdown and for the most part Julia was helping me out and keeping me stable. after about a week I began to call her every single day sometimes twice everyday for about a week until finally her family told me to never call her again and that she didn’t want to speak to me so I stopped. About one week later. Side note the thing that made me so angry and relentless was the fact that I would call and ask to speak with Julia and they would either say she not hear but I’ll tell you she called, or You just missed her…, and not just out right saying she didn’t want to talk to me, kind of stringing me along and essentially lying to me. she called and said she HAd been really busy and her parents were not relaying the message’s. SHe continued to add that the conversations were emotionally draining and that she needed a break. I respond with that understandable, but I would very much like to continue to talk to you at the very least, and I’ll still call you every weekend just like I do with most of my other friends. after about a months or so, she began to no longer respond. Once again I received the She’s not here… you just missed her… This mad me very mad, until I waited for her to call. A month passed and finally she called, she said that she missed out talks and wanted to know how I was doing. By this time my brake down was in full bloom and I had previously been places in my mind I wish no person to ever encounter. I told her that I don’t like being ignored and most of all I don’t like being toyed with. The conversation ended with me telling her that if she doesn’t like me calling her every week then Maybe we shouldn’t call each other at all. And so we didn’t talk for a while. After that I attempted certain things and then began therapy. after about a month of therapy and medication I was feeling slightly more like my self. Julia called out of the blue to se how I was doing I apologized and said that I was in a rough place in my life and was trying to get better. we continued to talk for a while off and on, until was talking with Tim one day online and found out he was going to ask her out. Earlier I had also discovered a picture of her and a group of friends including a male friend of mine who had recently came out, naked and other of them under a blanket. At the time a number of my fiends who also new the now openly gay friend of mine were shocked and a little unsure of his homosexuality , considering the situation leading to his coming out and how it happened and what then occurred when he did. Those instances lead me bake to a dark plays and a second attempt which was thwarted. As Nate and Julia’s relationship grew I feel deeper and deeper into a sullen state. Anger grew and festered, and eventually elizabeth stooped calling. I had pushed her away, again. we then began to talk on myspace and eventually trues was regained, I think. we began to have mild conversations nothing like before this time more like friends. I was jealous of what she and tim had but very much wanted to be their to enjoy her happiness. We begging to talk more deeply trying to gain more of a close-nit friendship.I enjoyed it but still had immense feelings for her and had many times planed and failed at trying to sweep her off her feet. The distance. and finally Her graduation came. By this point I had accepted that their was nothing in my power that could bring back the relationship we once had, but to just continue to our friendship as it were. I came to LA wish her a far well and to a some what final goodbye, previously Julia felt this was unnecessary because we would still talk and be friends while she’s in college. I needed to do this to not only prove to my self that I was over her but to realize that we all change and nothing can be as it once was. I surprised her at her house. Seeing her face to face after two years of emotional and physical turmoil I was completely taken aback by her new form and beauty. No offense but she had matured and bloomed. She invited me in and the conversation was timid and awkward, I was very insecure. I felt like dame I went out with a person who looked like this, she was way out of my league now. I felt as if I was the odd man out. I as if I was the ugly girl in a room filled with beautiful people. we had dinner and for most of the time I could get over how attractive she was. finally at the end I was more conferrable and realized she was sill the same Julia I new but different before I couldn’t giver a hug, I felt to unnatural, but by the end of the night I gave her a big hug and felt like I was hanging out with an old friend. I invited her to a bon fire I was having the next day and the received a call from nat that he got off work and was going to have dinner. I asked Jul’s if she wanted to come but she said she had home work. I didn’t go that night as you know, but the next day I called her u to tell her the time of the bon fire I left a message. After having such a food time with friends and felling like I was home for the first time in years I decided to move down here. I called every one to tell them the good news. As I moved and during my stay here I tried to get groups together to do things, inviting Julia when appropriate. but once again every time I called I received a she’s not here… You just missed her… and a new one we have a foreign exchange student living with us so she cant to much. The few times I did talk to her She said I couldn’t cause of the foreign exchange student. each time I just shrugged it off until I called one day and I could swear she answered the phone but the again her sister sounds allot like her on the phone. I asked her to tell Julia that a group of use were having a barbecue at nates and she was invited if she could join. She respond with Julia can theirs a foreign exchange student here. I asked her if she could just relay the message. As summer ended I tied to contact her via email or myspace, since phone was no help.I sent her a small simple message once a week, a Hey excited about college. or Haven’t heard from you in a while must be really busy. Finally I sent her a message that asked if you don’t want to just tell me to stop. an received a message that contained. Luis its really weird that you not over me, You should be over me. I know your not over me because of dinner at tie food. How can some one that is always talking with someone else get over them. I know its harsh but I just havent had the nerve to say it.
so…..
now that you hopefully understand the situation at the very best of my ability to present it as fair and accurately as I can. Also take my word with a grain of salt. Because no matter how hard I tried Their is going to be a huge bias in the retelling. My question.
As a women are my feelings of anger/hurt valid. if so why. considering the situation, do you feel my actions in you opinion and understanding of the events not only throughout this retelling but if you were in the same situations not knowing a lot of my psychological factors, would you behave the same.?
I understand that both questions are nearly impossible to answer and if answerable are tainted by the fallacy of hindsight is always 20/20, but I would really appreciate it if you could try. and at the very lest thanks for listening.”
I’m still at a lost one year later.

Names and locations have been changed out of courtesy of the people in this situation
“Considering that I’m not a woman, and I will never know or begin to understand how a woman thinks or feels I’m at a crossroads…..
also I can definitely understand some bias form your advise considering the circumstances and the events that led to sed circumstances its difficult to express as to portray the events as close to their true forms and occasions. well then …
As you may or may not know Julia and I had a brief, relationship in HIgh school. It was the best and happiest time of my life. after about two weeks I ended the relationship, I would rather not say why at the moment, and the separation was very difficult. The entire break up was hard, for I still had feelings for Julia and I think she for me, but once again I would rather not say why, I was compelled… no obligated to not peruse those feelings. As I prepared my self to return to Fresno, I so desperately longed to continue a contact with Julia that mutually we both decided to try at a friendship. At first it was strange, and then the inevitable jealousy struck (me) and the beginning of our friendship was at a crossroads. Thankfully Julia understood and forgave my stubbing/rood-behavior and our friendship grew with effort on both parts, but honestly more effort form hers and on my graduation day I asked her to kiss me one last time as a final remembrance. Thankfully she refused my advices and we parted ways. after that we continued to stay very much in touch calling each other every weekend until suddenly she stopped responding. Sidetone during this time I was going through a severe mental breakdown and for the most part Julia was helping me out and keeping me stable. after about a week I began to call her every single day sometimes twice everyday for about a week until finally her family told me to never call her again and that she didn’t want to speak to me so I stopped. About one week later. Side note the thing that made me so angry and relentless was the fact that I would call and ask to speak with Julia and they would either say she not hear but I’ll tell you she called, or You just missed her…, and not just out right saying she didn’t want to talk to me, kind of stringing me along and essentially lying to me. she called and said she HAd been really busy and her parents were not relaying the message’s. SHe continued to add that the conversations were emotionally draining and that she needed a break. I respond with that understandable, but I would very much like to continue to talk to you at the very least, and I’ll still call you every weekend just like I do with most of my other friends. after about a months or so, she began to no longer respond. Once again I received the She’s not here… you just missed her… This mad me very mad, until I waited for her to call. A month passed and finally she called, she said that she missed out talks and wanted to know how I was doing. By this time my brake down was in full bloom and I had previously been places in my mind I wish no person to ever encounter. I told her that I don’t like being ignored and most of all I don’t like being toyed with. The conversation ended with me telling her that if she doesn’t like me calling her every week then Maybe we shouldn’t call each other at all. And so we didn’t talk for a while. After that I attempted certain things and then began therapy. after about a month of therapy and medication I was feeling slightly more like my self. Julia called out of the blue to se how I was doing I apologized and said that I was in a rough place in my life and was trying to get better. we continued to talk for a while off and on, until was talking with Nate one day online and found out he was going to ask her out. Earlier I had also discovered a picture of her and a group of friends including a male friend of mine who had recently came out, naked and other of them under a blanket. At the time a number of my fiends who also new the now openly gay friend of mine were shocked and a little unsure of his homosexuality , considering the situation leading to his coming out and how it happened and what then occurred when he did. Those instances lead me bake to a dark plays and a second attempt which was thwarted. As Nate and Julia’s relationship grew I feel deeper and deeper into a sullen state. Anger grew and festered, and eventually Julia stooped calling. I had pushed her away, again. we then began to talk on myspace and eventually trues was regained, I think. we began to have mild conversations nothing like before this time more like friends. I was jealous of what she and Nate had but very much wanted to be their to enjoy her happiness. We begging to talk more deeply trying to gain more of a close-nit friendship.I enjoyed it but still had immense feelings for her and had many times planed and failed at trying to sweep her off her feet. The distance. and finally Her graduation came. By this point I had accepted that their was nothing in my power that could bring back the relationship we once had, but to just continue to our friendship as it were. I came to LA wish her a far well and to a some what final goodbye, previously Julia felt this was unnecessary because we would still talk and be friends while she’s in college. I needed to do this to not only prove to my self that I was over her but to realize that we all change and nothing can be as it once was. I surprised her at her house. Seeing her face to face after two years of emotional and physical turmoil I was completely taken aback by her new form and beauty. No offense but she had matured and bloomed. She invited me in and the conversation was timid and awkward, I was very insecure. I felt like dame I went out with a person who looked like this, she was way out of my league now. I felt as if I was the odd man out. I as if I was the ugly girl in a room filled with beautiful people. we had dinner and for most of the time I could get over how attractive she was. finally at the end I was more conferrable and realized she was sill the same Julia I new but different before I couldn’t giver a hug, it felt to unnatural, but by the end of the night I gave her a big hug and felt like I was hanging out with an old friend. I invited her to a bon fire I was having the next day and the received a call from nat that he got off work and was going to have dinner. I asked Jul’s if she wanted to come but she said she had home work. I didn’t go that night as you know, but the next day I called her u to tell her the time of the bon fire I left a message. After having such a good time with friends and felling like I was home for the first time in years I decided to move down here. I called every one to tell them the good news. As I moved and during my stay here I tried to get groups together to do things, inviting Julia when appropriate. but once again every time I called I received a she’s not here… You just missed her… and a new one we have a foreign exchange student living with us so she cant do much. The few times I did talk to her She said I couldn’t cause of the foreign exchange student. each time I just shrugged it off until I called one day and I could swear she answered the phone but then again her sister sounds allot like her on the phone. I asked her to tell Julia that a group of use were having a barbecue at nates and she was invited if she could join. She respond with Julia cant theirs a foreign exchange student here. I asked her if she could just relay the message. As summer ended I tied to contact her via email or myspace, since phone was no help.I sent her a small simple message once a week, a Hey excited about college. or Haven’t heard from you in a while must be really busy. Finally I sent her a message that asked if you don’t want to just tell me to stop. an received a message that contained. Luis its really weird that you not over me, You should be over me. I know your not over me because of dinner. How can some one that is always talking with someone else get over them. I know its harsh but I just havent had the nerve to say it.
so…..
now that you hopefully understand the situation at the very best of my ability to present it as fair and accurately as I can. Also take my word with a grain of salt. Because no matter how hard I tried Their is going to be a huge bias in the retelling. My question.
As a women are my feelings of anger/hurt valid. if so why. considering the situation, do you feel my actions in you opinion and understanding of the events not only throughout this retelling but if you were in the same situations not knowing a lot of my psychological factors, would you behave the same.?
I understand that both questions are nearly impossible to answer and if answerable are tainted by the fallacy of hindsight is always 20/20, but I would really appreciate it if you could try. and at the very least thanks for listening.”
I’m still at a lost one year later.