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i’m sorry u feel this way. what’s up? what has happened to make you so down?

It’s a long story but in a nut shell. My family is extreamly disfunctional I can hardly stand the insain violence that goes on her (not physical abuse but mentally) My brother tried to kill himself about 3 weeks ago but he walks around like everything is absolutley amazing now. He tried to overdose so my mom called the police. The doctor said he only took like 3 pills tops. Basically it came down they thought it was for attention. It sucked becasue I kept getting so upset becasue I’ve been thinking about dying for a long time and then he goes and makes a huge joke out of it! I should of been the one to do it! BUt if I did it I would make sure I wasn’t around! I’ve never been so alone as I am right now!

i’m sorry. that’s horrible. how old are you?

I’m 23 which makes me feel like an even bigger freak because I feel soo ******! My brother is only 16 and they play it off like it’s just his age or hormones goin on that makes him think that way! I think that way all the time! Soooo what’s wrong with me then? I’m not a teenager. I guess I”m just that pathetic!

i am 23 as well and am going through a rough time. age has nothing to do with it. can you move in with someone else or move out on your own?

I wish I could! That would be amazing it’s just I can’t afford it right now. the minute I get caught up and have some extra money I feel like I need to give it to my family because they are having a rough time. I can’t let them go with out just so I can leave! I have to do whats right but at times it seems like they just use me. I’m sorry my head isn’t really where it should be. Its super frustrating and it wears me out!

i’ll bet. is there anyone you could stay with for now?

My boyfriend and I talked about moving in together. Now that I tell him about me feeling so awful all the time he doens’t seem to want me too. Sometimes it’s like he doesn’t even want to be around me at all! Which hurts soo much!!! I feel stupid even asking him to move in with him. I guess I just expect him to know to kind of take charge and tell me to move in with him. I know I shouldn’t think that way but, I feel if he really truely cared he would want me with him. That he wouldn’t want me living here like this. He doesn’t know I want to kill myself sometimes. I guess I don’t tell him because I’m afraid I’ll lose him. I’m just that pathetic! If I dont have him who do I have???

IDK I gotta run but thanks for takin the time to chat! :)

i’m sorry you are having such a hard time. maybe sit down and have a chat with your bf and see what’s up?