Find help: How many find this annoying as heck: You have to put down a woman rather than compliment her to make her like u? - Help.com

Yeah, it goes against my nature, but sometimes you have to be the bad one to get them to even notice you.

Well that may be true for some but I don’t believe it is true for all. I think many girls are turned off by being put down. I know I don’t enjoy being put down and I know many others that are the same way as I am. It is a shame though that some girls are like that. I guess there isn’t much you can do about that situation.

Kyle_01 wrote:
that’s annoying when u are as caring as me LOL.

Yeah me too. Much rather compliment her, but some girls just don’t want that.

I’ve had a girl start talking to me only after I told a mutual friend that I thought she was a *****.

Put downs get you the kind of girl who is unlikely to have any self-respect and probably doesn’t care two hoots who you are or what you say…

Compliments get you a real woman.

Exactly I agree with the above comment. You want to find a girl that respects herself and wants respect from you. So you don’t want to be looking for the girls that want the put downs that is just going to lead you down a bad road.

Kyle_01 wrote:

☼₦ḭṤă☼ wrote:

Kyle_01 wrote:
that’s annoying when u are as caring as me LOL.

Yeah me too. Much rather compliment her, but some girls just don’t want that. I’ve had a girl start talking to me only after I told a mutual friend that I thought she was a *****.

Man, that’s rough, for u i mean. I called a chick a b***h yesterday…but guess what, she didn’t say a word because she thinks she’s of a higher lvl. Psh, plz. If she could go a day without flirting with a guy i’d give her 100 dollars lol

Meh, rough but not too rough. I got what I wanted… She said she thought I was too timid before I called her a *****. I was like wtf. But whatever.

You need to widen your social circle if you think thinking women are all hookers!

pandagian wrote:
I’m a girl and while I think too many compliments can be a little creepy, I wouldn’t go with a guy who insulted me. I just like polite guys :)

that’s how I feel. too many compliements has its own problems. Especially if they are generic. Don’t tell a girl she is pretty, tell her she “has like these totally awesome eyes.. never seen such a color”.

nobody should enjoy getting insulted, but if you bring up a very valid point in a very sincere and intelligent way, you may trigger a respect response. You may be showing how logical, observant, and caring you are.

aww sorry to hear that Fred, just try being more specific. Maybe your wife feels you say that when you want her and really don’t mean it, you mean it but its a canned thing to say. Try telling her how happy you are when its home time. How wonderfully she mothers the family. how really good the bathroom/kitchen/whatever looks since she did her thing to it. that you saw her in the sunshine today and noticed the shine in her hair.

my husband just starts talking religion (even though he is atheist, he knows the bible perfectly, and pretty much about all major religions) or physics. Hell talk about gravity (my personal favorite) sometimes, and I laugh and tell him hes seducing me. But it works, cause I appreciate the effort (and the talk!!)

in summary. be specific, not general. and take a second to get to know what the other person likes. If you dont care to do some research, then what do you expect?

well I don’t mind getting told off handedly as though surprised “You’re cute!”. I am trying to see what saying she is beautiful would be a metaphor for. I am not being sarcastic, I am trying to step back and see if I could take it that way.

maybe the female we are talking about likes power. but power over what? her mind.. no. herself.. redundant.. and no.. you? geesh, I just dont understand that.

Saying she is beautiful was just a generic way to say any compliment regarding her appearance. I am talking power over me! Compliment her and she thinks she is too good for me. After complimenting her last week (quite sincerely i might add) I asked for some ….., and she basically told me she should not satisfy me. She didn’t explain much, except I seemed to understand that she felt it in her best interest to keep me wanting. I was soo pissed. I give her everything (or so I think) and she leaves me wanting all the time. If I wasn’t such a pu..y and was more of an a-hole to her, I would probably be gettin sum. I think women use their charms as a tool and a weapon, rather than an expression of love and togetherness as it should be.

when did we abandon kyle? *sigh* Fred, I don’t mind shifting my focus to you. You could start a post, I don’t know, maybe talking to you is what Kyle needs since you seem to be more experienced and can bring up things he would otherwise have to anticipate.

But in your case, Fred, your woman sounds … umm… like she has some things to deal with. I don’t think that ability to gain power over people, is the same as wanting to gain that power.

Scriptease wrote:
when did we abandon kyle? *sigh* Fred, I don’t mind shifting my focus to you. You could start a post, I don’t know, maybe talking to you is what Kyle needs since you seem to be more experienced and can bring up things he would otherwise have to anticipate.

But in your case, Fred, your woman sounds … umm… like she has some things to deal with. I don’t think that ability to gain power over people, is the same as wanting to gain that power.

Scrip you are right, I kinda got off on a jag. Sorry about that Kyle. I guess I should refocus my reply to be helpful to Kyle. Kyle, if you are young, dont fall into the pattern of trying to compliment her thinking this will put you in her favor. Just speak your mind, and if thats puttin her down, so be it. I am not advocating being dishonestly mean, but on the other hand, honest or not, compliments will get you nowere.

If they are sincere they will get appreciated. If they don’t.. then step back and reevaluate your woman. please don’t live a life of playing strange games.