Money help: Theres this one girl I met a month and a half ago at a gas station (How ironic lol). - Help.com

Theres this one girl I met a month and a half ago at a gas station (How ironic lol).

She was driving the same car as me and she had her boyfriend with her. We all started hanging out alot, but then her and I went and did stuff. Her boyfriend is pretty much a non social person so he doesnt go out into public much. He just sits home a drinks beer all day and plays videogames. So when this girl and I want to go out he just wants to sit at home and drink. One night when her and I were playing pool she pretty much spilled her guts and vented to me about her relationship. The first 6 months they dated the guy cheated on her, and a about another year later he was drunk and actually punched her in the face… He also uses and abuses her, he begs money off of her because he spends all of his money on getting himself drunk. He has also taken her credit card and charged $1000 on it and never payed her back a cent. Because of all that stuff her parents dislike her current boyfriend alot. But I get along very well with her mom and dad, her mom is encouraging her to leave him and go out with me. She wants to leave him so bad, but he always manipulates her and makes her feel bad. But she knows she has to do it sooner or later because her lease ends in january with him and she promised me that we are going to be roomates. I have to move out of my aunt and uncles house in january (Cool coincedence). She is starting to grow on me and it breaks my heart to see her so unhappy with this guy. He never takes her out to dinner or movies or anything! I took her out today for lunch and she told me she feels so bad that im buying her lunch but I kept insisiting and telling her its okay. She told me im the first guy that has ever bought her lunch. We get along so well, we talk about eachothers feelings and it feels so good. I told her how i truly felt about her, I told her i like her alot and I told her she looked beautiful yesterday and she said I looked handsome and smelt good. Do you guys think I have a chance? She spends more time with me than her jerk boyfriend.

This open post was written 1 year ago | V/U/S: 38, 13, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post J.J. may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. J.J. is a verified member, has been around for 1 year and has 37 posts and 598 replies to their name.

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EmilyRI offline Verified User (1 year, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (6 minutes after post)

Well, I am sure you and her could have a good relationship together. But I really think (and I am sure you agree) the most important thing right now is her safety. She doesn’t seem very safe with the guy she is with now and I would like to say she should move out now and stay with her parents. IF her lease is up in January and she wants to stick it out, she should know she always has someone she can contact or go to if she is ever in immediate danger. Also, your safety is important too. I’m not sure how her boyfriend will react if you move in with her right off the bat. It’s all very critical and it’s important to have a plan.

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J.J. offline Verified User (1 year) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year ago (11 minutes after post)

Yeah, I do worry about her safety. Im just her shoulder that she can lean on and thats okay because I care about her alot. She knows that I care alot about her feelings and her problems.

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Anonymous #
1 year ago (15 minutes after post)

Make sure your not just the rebound guy. She should get out of that situation first before she starts anything up with you. Don’t rush it. That guy also needs help if he’s abusing alcohol.

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J.J. offline Verified User (1 year) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year ago (17 minutes after post)

I know all about rebound relationships, so i’m being cautious. I just want to be her friend and work it up. We always tell him he needs help but he always says he doesn’t need help etc, etc.

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EmilyRI offline Verified User (1 year, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (22 minutes after post)

I hope everything works out for you

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J.J. offline Verified User (1 year) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year ago (24 minutes after post)

Yeah I do too. I especially hope things work out for her as well, because I don’t want her to be unhappy for the rest of her life. Thanks for the responses Emily.

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Anonymous #
1 year ago (25 minutes after post)

You can’t make him get help. But she shouldn’t stay in that relationship especially if he has no plans on changing or getting help. The day that she moves out he might get violent. It might be a good idea to have law enforcement accompany her to get her things.

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J.J. offline Verified User (1 year) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year ago (29 minutes after post)

Yeah that is very true. You know, if I ever hit a girl (I haven’t and dont plan on ever doing it) I would expect to be dumped right on the spot. I don’t understand why she would put up with this for this long.

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EmilyRI offline Verified User (1 year, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (2 days, 17 hours after post)

She’s scared. Either of being alone or that he has threatened her life if she leaves. Chances are she doesn’t like the way she’s being treated but often times people feel like that’s how it is and it can’t be changed. This type of thinking usually comes from how a person was raised. Sometimes not but a lot of the time it has to do with their past.
I have a question…when you said you met at a gas station and that that is ironic, how is it ironic?

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J.J. offline Verified User (1 year) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year ago (3 days, 9 hours after post)

Just ironic that we met there and both like eachother. She finally got rid of him and she’s now living at her parents. She and I talked about how we felt about eachother day before yesterday. We then kissed, it felt so right, then today she texted me and said “Im just not ready for a relationship yet, don’t get me wrong, I really like you.” Then later on she was flirting with me and holding my hand and stuff? Is she confused or something?

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Anonymous #
1 year ago (3 days, 15 hours after post)

Yes, Don’t give in to that flirting. She needs to be alone with her feelings to clear her head. Don’t become the rebound guy. Make sure that its real what she feels for you and not just neediness. Be her friend for now and leave out the kissing.

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EmilyRI offline Verified User (1 year, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (3 days, 17 hours after post)

Anonymous wrote:
Yes, Don’t give in to that flirting. She needs to be alone with her feelings to clear her head. Don’t become the rebound guy. Make sure that its real what she feels for you and not just neediness. Be her friend for now and leave out the kissing.

I agree

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J.J. offline Verified User (1 year) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year ago (3 days, 21 hours after post)

Alright, thanks! I will keep that in mind.

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