friends help: I found out yesterday that my best friend has less than 72 hours. - Help.com

People take things differently, some cry, and some suck it up. It’s just who you are.

Don’t feel bad on your lack of tears. It may be just be a refusal to accept fate, or a deep, inner hope/belief that it will be alright in the end.

What matters is that you care, even if not in complete sorrow. You thinking of him constantly shows this.

I’m sorry for your probable loss, but I hope he manages to recover in time so you don’t have to lose him. The most you can do is to have your thoughts with him. Don’t beat yourself up over nothing you can control.

I’m so sorry for your situation.

Has he been unwell for long?

Thanks Milkyway.

He was in a car accident about a month ago. Things were going well, until his brain stopped functioning. His family stepped in and decided that they’ll stop the doctors from treating him, if he doesn’t get better within 72 hours. I was angry when I found out, these people aren’t close enough to make any kind of decision. But one of his friends is doing everything he can to get his family’s decision overruled. He’s gone to the lawyers, and has also taken my friend’s little sister with him. It broke my heart when I was told how she is. She’s barely eaten, or said a word. She loves her brother very much, and he’s all that she has.

Do the doctors think he can recover?

I don’t know, the chance that he will be okay isn’t big.

A chance is all it takes. These things are never easy, they always push you for more strength than you know that you have. In the end you can only follow yourself, that mixture of mind and heart that comprises our experiences in this world. No one knows how events like these will ever end, but we all have our parts to play. I can only pray that we can give you some dram of the strength that you will need and that, whatever the end result may be, that it is for the best.

I hope things work out. I really do.

I don’t know what we can do to help other than provide a comforting ear, but we will try to do what we can.

People grieve in different ways. We are also often in a state of denial about something that is traumatic to us. The full impact of losing a loved one sometimes doesn’t “hit” for days.

I have said a prayer for your friend.

Thank you Chev. Thank you all.

But how do I help another friend of mine? She’s not okay, she’s been crying so much. I don’t know what to do.

As chev says, people grieve differently. Some do so with many tears, some remain silent, some even seem to laugh it all off…

The best thing to do is to provide a listening ear and a big box of tissues. Let them grieve. Be guided by their talk. If they want to talk about things, let them. If they want to blubber, that’s fine too.

Take a little time out of the situation though. You need to rest too. Trauma is exhausting and you will need to be strict with yourself to preserve your strength so that you CAN be useful to your friend. Take time to walk and reflect on your own, to sleep quietly, or to pray if that is what helps you. I like to watch relaxing videos from youtube to refocus my mind when I am troubled.

Quite so. Encourage your friend to “talk it out.” Holding things inside gives them tremendous power over you; once fears or troubles are acknowledged and brought into the open, their grip lessens considerably.

Solutions rarely come overnight. But problems can be broken down into manageable parts, so they don’t seem so big and insurmountable any more.

One of the biggest problems: so many people don’t believe that they deserve happiness, that they are worthy of it. A lot of people have been beaten down. Before they can experience love from someone else, they first have to learn to love themselves.

Maybe you’re just in shock?