a short story i wrote during a type hour
I sometimes get these things where I get completely silent, I lock my door and I open word, and I type. I don’t look up, I don’t think about what I am typing, I just type. I type usually for an hour, sometimes less, sometimes more
this is one of those stories, I thought some of you would like to read it, also critique it, by all means, I want to hear the exact thoughts you have about it, I don’t care what they are, but give them to me.
I call it “Raindrops”
“You told me. You promised me.” Her sad voice echoed in his head as he drove madly down the old road. He had promised her so much, but what could he do about that now? There was no life on or around the road that night. The rain trickled down in uneasy patterns and gave off the illusion of movement. “I feel sick”, he said to himself as he turned the wheel slightly to turn and slumped back into his seat.
She was already dressed in her night clothes. She sat on the dusty old bed in that rundown hotel that she had discovered and sighed. “I know he told me he was gonna, but why did I believe him?” she allowed her body to fall onto the bed, letting out another sigh as the dust jumped and the bed creaked. She turned her head over to the window, and through the curtain she saw the rain smearing down to the earth below. There was no turning back now.
He sat down on the velvet chair in the upper class hotel’s room, shaking his drink around in a whirlpool fashion in his small cocktail glass. Upon setting the drink on the small oak desk, he stood up, uneasy. He held his hand up with his palm and looked out the large glass window overlooking the city, the raindrops scattering downward like enemy fire, his enemy’s fire. “I told them I was going to do this, but now, I don’t think I can. Why did I say I was gonna? And I got him in this too! What the hell is wrong with me?” he spoke to himself angrily. “There is only one thing to do and it must be done, waiter! Call my limo! I am going after all!”
As a younger man parked the car and ran through the hash and cold rain to the motel, he was hoping he was at the right one. He ran inside to the small desk and asked the burly man behind it if he had allowed a young woman to stay in one of the rooms, he told him that there was only one guest tonight, and that she fit the description. Room 203. He thanked the man and ran out to the rooms. It had to be here somewhere.
The limo had arrived early and picked up the styled man, he told his the directions to his destination and buckled up. The driver looked out and said. “It’s funny, this rain, you know? It rained like this the day my mother died. Never saw it rain like this ever before or after that.” The passenger looked out the window and agreed. He hoped he had the right directions.
“Before, he could have sworn he had seen it before, but what day was that? Her birthday? Could have been her birthday? No. He would not have forgotten it so easily.
He thought back to her birthday, the smell of august lingered in his brain and he drifted off to the day he had met her.
“It only happens once a decade! Will you see it with me? He already said he would come, but, what kind of family reunion would it be with only one of the brothers?”
She told him as they swung on the old swing set near the now frosted water.
“I will! Of course I will make it, but, what about him? I have not seen him since… since mother died. We never got along well….” He drifted off in speech.
“He asked me to ask you!” she replied. “I don’t know, he said he would only come if we were all there!”
“…If we… were all there?” He asked, slightly rhetorically.
Regardless of the rhetoric, she replied; “Yes! Please, make sure you do not miss it, Mother said it was beautiful!” “I won’t, I won’t!” He got up off the swing and said as he looked into the ocean.
“Thank you.”
He woke to see they were parked by a rather run- down motel. “Sir, you have woken at the perfect time! We have arrived at your destination!”
“This is my destination?” he said to himself with awe. He expected… more….
He quickly looked around to look for any cars, and spotted two, both several distances from each other.
He could tell one of them was hers, but the other…. Could his brother have actually found his way here?
The younger man was busy running up and down the lanes of rooms, trying to find the room marked “203”
“199…… 200…. 201…. 202…20……20?”
“Room number twenty? I already passed room number 20!”
He shouted with confusion. He turned to go back and herd a clank as he stepped down.
He looked down and saw a rusted golden number 3, matching the font and style of the other numbers.
“Then, this is it?” he asked himself.
He reached an arm out, and put his hand in knocking position, when he heard a quickly paced footstep, going his direction.
He turned and saw his older brother, huffing as he was running as fast as he could.
“Brother!? Is that actually you?” The man shouted as he ran.
“No way! You really made it? She said you might not, that you showed distaste upon being invited.”
The older brother arrived next to his younger brother as the looked at each other. “Well then? Shall we?” the younger asked with a brief smile.
“We shall!” the older replied as if they were reciting a script.
They put their hands to the wood of the door marked twenty and knocked in unison, in a code they used to do when they reached home after school as kids.
The door instantly opened to behold a young woman, and a bright smile on her face. “You both made it!” she shouted as she hugged them both, then, glancing at her watch, she said “We are almost late! We have to go now!”
They ran together on a path they had never taken, but still knew by heart.
“Follow the raindrops and follow the leaves…” A tune played through the wind known by all of their hearts. “Follow wind through it’s brushes and weaves…”
“…and if you follow the rocks to the edge of the cliff…” The song played on as they reached a small cliff. “You will reach the climatic, the willow of Siff…” A large tree emerged in their view, a willow with the name “Siff” carved fancifully into it.
This is the tree! Now just wait for it….” She said with excitement.
Suddenly, through the falling, smearing raindrops emerged a beautiful red glow. It struck across the horizon. A red orb at the center. Mixed with the strange rain it created a glorious red, yellow and orange rainbow of immense size, striking perpendicular to the red horizon.
“It is so beautiful! Mother told us how beautiful and yet this is so striking.” The girl said, with tears in her eyes.
They stood there for as long as the rainbow was shining and the rain was falling.
Next to the willow, with their father’s name carve onto it in fanciful letters.
The End.
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a short story i wrote during a type hour
I sometimes get these things where I get completely silent, I lock my door and I open word, and I type. I don’t look up, I don’t think about what I am typing, I just type. I type usually for an hour, sometimes less, sometimes more
this is one of those stories, I thought some of you would like to read it, also critique it, by all means, I want to hear the exact thoughts you have about it, I don’t care what they are, but give them to me.
I call it “Raindrops”
“You told me. You promised me.” Her sad voice echoed in his head as he drove madly down the old road. He had promised her so much, but what could he do about that now? There was no life on or around the road that night. The rain trickled down in uneasy patterns and gave off the illusion of movement. “I feel sick”, he said to himself as he turned the wheel slightly to turn and slumped back into his seat.
She was already dressed in her night clothes. She sat on the dusty old bed in that rundown hotel that she had discovered and sighed. “I know he told me he was gonna, but why did I believe him?” she allowed her body to fall onto the bed, letting out another sigh as the dust jumped and the bed creaked. She turned her head over to the window, and through the curtain she saw the rain smearing down to the earth below. There was no turning back now.
He sat down on the velvet chair in the upper class hotel’s room, shaking his drink around in a whirlpool fashion in his small cocktail glass. Upon setting the drink on the small oak desk, he stood up, uneasy. He held his hand up with his palm and looked out the large glass window overlooking the city, the raindrops scattering downward like enemy fire, his enemy’s fire. “I told them I was going to do this, but now, I don’t think I can. Why did I say I was gonna? And I got him in this too! What the hell is wrong with me?” he spoke to himself angrily. “There is only one thing to do and it must be done, waiter! Call my limo! I am going after all!”
As a younger man parked the car and ran through the hash and cold rain to the motel, he was hoping he was at the right one. He ran inside to the small desk and asked the burly man behind it if he had allowed a young woman to stay in one of the rooms, he told him that there was only one guest tonight, and that she fit the description. Room 203. He thanked the man and ran out to the rooms. It had to be here somewhere.
The limo had arrived early and picked up the styled man, he told his the directions to his destination and buckled up. The driver looked out and said. “It’s funny, this rain, you know? It rained like this the day my mother died. Never saw it rain like this ever before or after that.” The passenger looked out the window and agreed. He hoped he had the right directions.
“Before, he could have sworn he had seen it before, but what day was that? Her birthday? Could have been her birthday? No. He would not have forgotten it so easily.
He thought back to her birthday, the smell of august lingered in his brain and he drifted off to the day he had met her.
“It only happens once a decade! Will you see it with me? He already said he would come, but, what kind of family reunion would it be with only one of the brothers?”
She told him as they swung on the old swing set near the now frosted water.
“I will! Of course I will make it, but, what about him? I have not seen him since… since mother died. We never got along well….” He drifted off in speech.
“He asked me to ask you!” she replied. “I don’t know, he said he would only come if we were all there!”
“…If we… were all there?” He asked, slightly rhetorically.
Regardless of the rhetoric, she replied; “Yes! Please, make sure you do not miss it, Mother said it was beautiful!” “I won’t, I won’t!” He got up off the swing and said as he looked into the ocean.
“Thank you.”
He woke to see they were parked by a rather run- down motel. “Sir, you have woken at the perfect time! We have arrived at your destination!”
“This is my destination?” he said to himself with awe. He expected… more….
He quickly looked around to look for any cars, and spotted two, both several distances from each other.
He could tell one of them was hers, but the other…. Could his brother have actually found his way here?
The younger man was busy running up and down the lanes of rooms, trying to find the room marked “203”
“199…… 200…. 201…. 202…20……20?”
“Room number twenty? I already passed room number 20!”
He shouted with confusion. He turned to go back and herd a clank as he stepped down.
He looked down and saw a rusted golden number 3, matching the font and style of the other numbers.
“Then, this is it?” he asked himself.
He reached an arm out, and put his hand in knocking position, when he heard a quickly paced footstep, going his direction.
He turned and saw his older brother, huffing as he was running as fast as he could.
“Brother!? Is that actually you?” The man shouted as he ran.
“No way! You really made it? She said you might not, that you showed distaste upon being invited.”
The older brother arrived next to his younger brother as the looked at each other. “Well then? Shall we?” the younger asked with a brief smile.
“We shall!” the older replied as if they were reciting a script.
They put their hands to the wood of the door marked twenty and knocked in unison, in a code they used to do when they reached home after school as kids.
The door instantly opened to behold a young woman, and a bright smile on her face. “You both made it!” she shouted as she hugged them both, then, glancing at her watch, she said “We are almost late! We have to go now!”
They ran together on a path they had never taken, but still knew by heart.
“Follow the raindrops and follow the leaves…” A tune played through the wind known by all of their hearts. “Follow wind through it’s brushes and weaves…”
“…and if you follow the rocks to the edge of the cliff…” The song played on as they reached a small cliff. “You will reach the climatic, the willow of Siff…” A large tree emerged in their view, a willow with the name “Siff” carved fancifully into it.
This is the tree! Now just wait for it….” She said with excitement.
Suddenly, through the falling, smearing raindrops emerged a beautiful red glow. It struck across the horizon. A red orb at the center, mixed with the strange rain it created a glorious red, yellow and orange rainbow of immense size, striking perpendicular to the red horizon.
“It is so beautiful! Mother told us how beautiful and yet this is so striking.” The girl said, with tears in her eyes.
They stood there for as long as the rainbow was shining and the rain was falling.
Next to the willow, with their father’s name carve onto it in fanciful letters.
The End.
U.Nirk
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