friends help: I need some help! - Help.com

I think that if he really wants to combat this problem, he needs to find some friends who don’t drink so much.

You can maybe introduce him to other people who have fun without the booze….such as “couples’ nights” where a bunch of couples, with or without kids, get together for meals, BBQ’s, etc….I know BBQ’s are not really happening at this time of year, but I couldn’t think of anything else.

No….if you love him, you need to try to work it out. Especially if you “love him to death and he loves you.”

You need to maybe go to counseling by yourself and find ways that you can cope with this and some strageties that you can use to “persuade” a behavior change in him.

How does he treat you? Is he abusive in any way?

I’m not saying to “never” leave him. I’m just saying that right now your heart is telling you NOT to leave him.

This is a very touchy issue that plagues many families everywhere. I would think about consulting an addiction counselor or some type of perfessional with some knowledge and experience with these situations.

Perhaps you really need to put your foot down, for the sake of your children, who have no voice for themselves. He is an obviously an alcoholic, who is in dire need ASAP for intervention. He sadly cannot be trusted to ever drive with these children under any circumstances. If he won’t consider a re-hab to aid wih his drinking problem, then I suggest he go to the AA meetings in your area. Bottom line however, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.. He must realize for himself, that he has a problem with alcohol, or none of the treatments will be much use. He would have one chance to clean his act up. If he is not willing to get help then you are left with no other alternative but to leave him. Sadly the problem will only escalate and you and the children will be at risk.Some people need to learn the hard way. I hope he sees the light for the well being of your family. Sometimes they force our hand to do what we have to, for the sanity of you and your children. All the best to you and I suggest you attend *ALONON* support groups to better help you understand the effects of an alcoholic on the family, and get the help you need for yourself, to better cope with all this. http://www.al-anonfamilygroups.org/

He could hit the door along with your husband, if he isn’t going to show you or your home any respect. Your house isn’t the local bar, and he needs to be told flat out, that you don’t appreciate his behavior, and to take it elsewhere. After all, this is your place, and you set the rules. Disrespect cannot be tolerated, or it will keep going on. State you mind, and do what you have to , to keep losers out of your home, and away from your children. No good will come out of it if you allow this friend to keep coming into your house. Be firm, and do what you have to, at putting an end to all this craziness. Good luck to you. Attend meetings in your area, and check out the online link to get more advice, and know how’s, on how to handle this all. :)

Good for you!!!! Your doing the right thing here. I wish you all the best :)