friends help: After 3 years, I still can’t get over her. - Help.com

Maybe you are fixated on her but she isn’t what you’re after. You said you realized you loved her 4 months after breaking up? 4 months? What made you realize you loved her? Was she your first relationship, or first serious relationship?

It was my first serious relationship maybe. Im not exactly sure, but I just need to know what I can possibly do to get her back OR get over her and these terrible feelings

she sounds pretty mean, if I were you I’d get over her. I’ve been on your end of unrequited love and all that helped me was getting away from that person. We stayed friends for over a year after our relationship ended and the pain of not being with him was as bad every day as the day it ended until I stopped spending time with him. If you have to see her, like at school or work, I would seriously consider changing jobs/schools to get some distance. This is the only thing that made me feel better. I know what you’re going through; he was my first serious boyfriend (I was about to write “firstlove” but truthfully he wasn’t) and as they say, you never forget your first. I’m sure there are plenty of nice, caring girls out there for you!

Hmm…Well I wont see her anymore after this year, but do you have any other tidbits of advice for getting over her? Thank you very much by the way. I already threw out all the stuff that reminds me of her.

Tell me…
Do you see yourself in a future with this girl i.e. marriage asnd all?
If you can remember, before you met her what was your image of the perfect girl… is she just like that?
Apart from her being mean is she not compatable to you in any other way?
Did you feel complete when you were with her?
How were the bad times and the good times of your relationship like?

I really don’t. Thats the thing. I just want to either get over her or get her back. Either ones fine. If I get her back, at least the feeling will go away and I can work with it from there. I just want help getting her or getting over her

If you cant see her in your future wouldnt it be better trying to picture your perfect woman and going in search of her?

I have been looking for my perfect woman…But I just can’t get over this one. Even if I found the perfect woman, I would still get the feelings I get thinking about this one. It’s not like I miss her, I think she just broke my heart…

3 years… wow. Its only been around 2 1/2 months since my break-up with a girl who i dated for 1 whole year. She was my first-love, I would have done anything for her. But in the end she stopped loving me, and it broke my heart. But slowly, I’m getting over it. Today was a semi-sad day, only because I was somehow reminded of the feelings I had for her, and how I still love her. But things are getting better, because each day I’m slowly beginning to realize one thing, something you should realize too

I am such an awesome person.

When I was with her, I was the best bf ever. All her friends would comment about how much of a gentleman I am, and how lucky she was to have me. Look back on the good of the relationship, and do that again in your next. Look at the bad, and make sure you don’t do those things again.

Lol, this is going to sound sort of mean, but think of her as merely a pawn in your giant game of chess. She served her purpose, and you used her. Now she is useless to the greater plan(you meeting your soulmate)

I’m only 16, so I know I’m going to find other women who will be 20X better than her. It doesn’t matter how old you are, because it is never to late.

Just remember. You’re one of the greatest people on the planet, and you’ll soon meet someone just as good as you.

Good luck!

I have to say, thank you man. You know, that is exactly how I’ve always felt. I know that I’m not only a great person, but I’m way better than her. I really need to find the right girl for me and I do know there are women 20 times better than her too! I am in fact 17, not much older. This happened when I was younger, but slowly I am starting ti get over it I think. My problem is the same as yours! You were reminded of the feelings you had for her and the face that you love her. That is how I am, I am reminded of her by many things. However I must say the logic you speak and the logic I knew is one in the same. But let me say you helped me more than it would seem.

Although I already knew and understood this, it still hurt just as much. I suppose that would have to be due to the fact that it’s all emotion and no logic. I came here with the hope that I could find ways to get over her. Find out how I can just forget about her. However, I have realized what I already know is all that can help me. I just have to deal with these feelings when they come and hope things get better. What you did is you showed me two things. One is that I was right to think I’m better than her, because really, in the end, all that matters is the one true girl for me. My soulmate. When i find her, all this will be petty and unimportant, because I will have something so much better. I wont have a girl that I loved, I’ll have a girl that I love AND is absolutely perfect for me, so I can love her forever.
The other thing you showed me is that there are other very intelligent and wise people out there, because many of the people I have met and talked to about this say nothing that truly helps me. Except things like, “Woah 3 years? Man that sucks..” I mean, yea I know it sucks, now tell me something that can help me in some way.

So basically what I’m saying, is reinforcement of the ideas that truly mean something is what I need. You really did that by saying this, and I think this is one of the last chapters in the story of this girl in my life. I think it is finally coming to a close. I truly hope that as you say I will find someone as good as me. Someone as emotional, intelligent, and whatever else I could think of that I would love to see in a girl.

I just want to say one more time, thank you. Thank you very much. You made a world of difference and I hope you know that you are a very wise, intelligent person. I hope that you find exactly what you’re looking for in life, and I think you will. You are a better person that almost everyone I’ve ever met in my life, and I’m glad you know it. There really aren’t that many people like you. Continue to embrace life, because you definitely have a great life ahead of you.

Good luck man