Darkest Fear
Today I face my darkest fear
In hopes I can release it
So dead upon it I must leer
With pen & paper, down I sit
Although I’ve been blessed with success
This dark fear’s lingered on
Frightening me to do my best
Until my race is won
Reflecting now I must describe
My deepest, darkest secret
It’s magnitude no longer hide
As on this page expose it
Since as a child, in early youth
I sensed that I was different
& so set forth to hide this truth
Normalcy to invent
Always, inside I knew I’d fail
Whatever I attempted
& thus obsessively I sailed
To out run fears projected
At first I set my sights on sports
Excelled at playing football
Relieving inborn angers torts
Fast, forcing foe’s firm fall
& yet my fears, they lingered on
To void my vict’rys zest
& thus my interest gyred & tossed
To more fulfilling quests
Obsessively, I sought to date
The best & brightest girls
Despite my prowess as their mate
Unsatisfying pearls
& then I gripped at academics
To study for good grades
This quest, with tests for me to mimic
Met with more accolades
& still, my fears, they did enclose
Depriving confidence
So on careers wealth I supposed
My quest: dollars & sense
But as I landed in great jobs
I still felt void & faint
Often breaking down in sobs
As fears my quest would taint
So then I turned to married life
Sought for and found a bride
But soon my strife was seen by wife
In spite of fears denied
At first, she tried to help me through
To be the man she needed
But in short order, I withdrew
As to new quests I heeded
And since that time I’ve past my prime
As fears join force with guilt
Pacing through life as a mime
As hopes & dreams did wilt
No longer setting up new quests
Gone were my hopes & dreams
Accepting fears as life long guests
Failing my subdues teem
Realizing all the quests
& hopes I ever had
Never filled my hollow voids
& always left me sad
As I surmise to wear disguise
To dream, for me, no more
In isolations cell I mize
Sailing without an oar
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