Love help: I love my girlfriend to death but i also love music. - Help.com

Why have you constrained your music activity to “being on the road”? Have you considered alternatives? Marriage is about being together. Relationships that work well are like a good marriage. She is correct, if you have such a hardnosed attitude about working it out, that shows that you really care more about your individuality than your relationship. Not coming down on you but love is about caring for and giving to , not taking from and relying upon. I would try to think this through a little more and decide what is really most important.Good luck!!

Compromise!!!!!!! That’s what life and relationships (that work) are all about

Well tell her that your dream means nothing without her.
So, you would rather compromise and keep you than live your dream and lose her.

Two things pop into my head.
One is the end of Jerry Maguire. The other is a scene in Rock Star. Jennifer Aniston follows her boyfriend on the road with his band. Eventually she gets tired of following his tour bus around and starts her own life. He realizes his dream isn’t worth it if he can’t share it with the woman he loves. Same goes for the scene in Jerry Maguire. Tom Cruise finally accomplishes good things in his life but he doesn’t feel good about it because he left his wife.
Obviously these are movies and when you’re young it’s important to live your dreams. But if you can’t see yourself living this life happily without her, I think a compromise is necessary.

Follow wat ur heart is saying!! =) sounds like u got a good gf!

Thanks for the invite. It means a lot that someone referred me. :)
This isn’t an easy thing. Yes, she should respect you, and she should also support you. If she loves you, and this is your dream, then she needs to support that.
If you want to stick together, this is a stage in the relationship where it will face its hardest obstacles. Among them will be compromise.
Compromise can be a tough thing for some people to wrap their heads around. This doesn’t mean that she should give everything up for you, nor does it mean you should give everything up for her. With that being said, it’s about sacrifices you are willing to make in order to keep your relationship. Sometimes these compromises need to be made. When one person in the relationship begins to no longer make them, or flat out decides they won’t make them, that is typically when the relationship will fall apart.
It seems to me that you support her with her dreams. It sounds like you want to stay with her too. I guess there are a few important things you both need to ask yourselves;

1. Am I willing to make the necessary compromises to keep this relationship alive?
and
2. Is the other person willing to do the same for me?

Maybe you need to help her see this from a different light. Make it clear to her that this is your dream, and that there will come many times where you will need to make necessary sacrifices for her too. If she is not willing to make this one for you, you should rethink whether or not you want someone who is not completely devoted to you to be your wife and to proceed further in the relationship.
You both aren’t there yet. Nothing is said and done. Things might change along the way and your goals might alter. I wouldn’t make any rash decisions yet, but I would think about these things if I were you.

Best of luck.

Love isn’t suppose to hinder anyone from reaching their dreams and realizing their potential. Your relationship should be strong enough to withstand the distance. I bet the fear of being apart is blown-up, though it’s completely normal and understandable (been there too). I mean that you should have faith in your relationship…that distance won’t break whatever you built in love. So don’t let the separation scare you. The separation is for a good cause…to make dreams happen. Plus, life gets to test the relationship this way too.

You’re young (I am too). You’re supposed to be free to follow your dreams. Both of you should be supportive of one another in this sense. After all, it’s also for you and your girlfriend’s future.

Paulo Coelho said “Love never keeps a man from pursuing his destiny.”
“Love is distinct from possession…Love without ownership…”

I suggest you read Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist. It is an inspirational fiction about following dreams, fulfilling destinies and life.

I agree with Mother of Peace, if she loves you she would love you enough to let you go and do something you enjoy with your life even if it wasn’t something she was keen on.
It’s not like going on tour is forever, and plenty of couples have to put up with not being together 100% of the time. The break could even be healthy, I know it’s cheesy, but it could help you appreciate the time you have together more.

Vjj wrote:
I agree with Mother of Peace, if she loves you she would love you enough to let you go and do something you enjoy with your life even if it wasn’t something she was keen on.
It’s not like going on tour is forever, and plenty of couples have to put up with not being together 100% of the time. The break could even be healthy, I know it’s cheesy, but it could help you appreciate the time you have together more.

i believe also it depends on the girls past…bcuz if she grew up with out someone there, and now she finally has someone there, its gonna be hard for her to be alone! so i understand where both him and her is coming from. i hope the best for you both

I’m in the same exact situation. I’ve finally got together with my girlfriend after two years of knowing her platonically. Things are amazing, but every time we have some trouble it’s always about me spending too much time with my band or the fear of me going on tour for a long stretch of time. There’s part of me that wishes she understood that this is what I’ve always wanted in life (to be a successful musician and to have an amazing relationship at the same time). Is this a fantasy that I can have my cake and eat it too? It’s causing me a lot of trouble because I would have no problem if she decided to pursue a dream of hers and to be gone for a period of time. I’d be happy knowing that she was trying to make her dreams come true, I just wish she saw it in that light. I noticed that you wrote this 11 months ago. Did you have any luck with your relationship and your career as a musician? Any help would be appreciated. Thanks!