Love help: I want to help my girlfriend beat her demons but i dunno how to. - Help.com

There are therapists and there are therapists. Some are good, some are worthless. Sounds like she hasn’t found the right one.

Do you know what in her past could be triggering these nightmares and nervous behavior?

She is suffering from post traumatic stress.
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics…

well its hard to give advice seeing as you didnt say why she is jumpy. if its abuse i know the feeling. you need to find how to comfort her. it helps me when my boyfriend will stroke my bangs out of my face. my mom used to do it when i was little and scared of thunder storms. but find out what kind of affection helps her relax. and tell her “hey, its ok. nothings wrong” let her know. over and over yes.. but it will help her more than anything. repetition until it sinks in her head and knows she is safe with you.

At the moment I’m assuming that she got hurt emotionally and mentally.

You can be her friend, but she will need to work out really traumatic issues with a therapist.

It is also best that you think of her as her friend, and not her rescuer. You should also know that the fact that she has been abused does not necessarily mean that she would be a good life partner. Rescues seldom succeed, and the would-be rescuer is usually dumped right after the putative rescuee feels a little better.

Good to have that additional information. She’s going to need a lot of therapy before she’s back on an even keel.

Be her friend . . . and just do not expect anything other than friendship.

Dude i dont think any of us are psycholgysts so please leave the diagnosis to professionals. What i would say to you is that you cant change a person or their experiences. Its real tough but the best you can do is be there for her, let her know you care, you may have done so, but little things like a text saying “thinking of you” or telling her your there for her are positive things you can do. You sound like a good guy just let her feel that way. Time heals most things to a degree. Dont push her its the worst thing to do. Let her open up in her own time as she begins to trust you. My best mates g.f got raped and it was a tough time for her but with the support we all gave her she is doing good.
Give me a shout if you want to talk more as ive kind of experienced what your going through with my best mate.

Sorry i forgot to say, if she realy has been raped dont be put off if she doesnt want phisical contact for a while. Its realy tough not even being able to hug the one you care about. But it can put a wall between you if she still feels insecure. Try to treat her normaly she will feel more at ease. Hope ive helped

Omg i cannot believe you’ve been talking to random people about this!

how dare you! seriously i asked you not to say anything!

Tailz wrote:
oh chill out.

why should i chill out? you promised you wouldn’t tell people about that stuff!

then again promises dont mean much to you do they?

Hey he is just trying to help out. I dunno if you are related to this post but if you are, its not a fact of not keeping promises he needed help and i for one know how he feels cause i experienced it last year. Dont be mad we all need a little help. Hope all is ok

Im the person he’s talking about. Until he dumped me three days ago i was his girlfriend. If he was so worried he should have just asked me, i would have been fine with it if he had just asked me.