Need help to fix my life, about to give up.
Hello, it’s a long story:
Grew up, graduated public school, moved away and went to university under pressure from family.
Borrowed a lot of money from government to go to school (over $25,000)
Found it very difficult to force myself to attend classes, and so missed many classes, ended up pulling all-nighters studying then managing to get high enough marks to pass first year.
This didn’t work in second year and I started failing courses. Eventually gave up. Went to work for minimum wage at a coffee shop. Got sick of that, and worked in a call center. Found it very stressful knowing that each call you pick up could be someone just waiting to tear into you because of a companie’s error or their own misunderstanding/stupidity. Eventually started smoking (still do) and got into marijuana and alcohol to deal with my unhappyness. Got so addicted to pot that it was the only thing important in life and spent countless dollars on it, often when it meant I would not be able to pay rent on time, or buy food.
ran out of money, and lost my job because i couldnt deal with it and started being late or missing days and just being so depressed that i didnt care what would happen. got lucky and a friend took me in for a couple months. then a family member in a bigger city let me stay at their place for the summer while they were away. worked another coffee job i hated, managed to move to my own apartment in a run down part of town full of bums and crack users, etc. quit job went to another call center, then another, started drinking every night, lost job, ran out of money, returned home to parents place, got admited to hospital’s mental health department for a week, then they shipped me back to my parents place. (at this point im 24 years old).
Now its been a year, we live out in the country so theres no jobs, i have no money and burden my parents, i have no life of my own and i am completely miserable. While i was living here my parents even paid for a mail order course on computer programming which i passed, but now cannot find jobs where i would qualify.
I was also diganosed with ADD this past year. Probably why I have so much trouble with life. I’m on medication now but I still have a hard time. I dont drink or do drugs anymore. I’m at the point where I believe I will never get anywhere in life.
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