Love help: So I understand now why things were “complicated.” - Help.com

Hmmm…not to condescend or anything and I don’t mean to make a joke out of this situation but that book Twilight talks about something that I relate to this situation called “imprinting” where a person (it’s actually werewolves) sees someone and they instantly know that person was meant to be with them for the rest of their lives.
In one case, a boy named Jacob imprinted on an infant so he has to wait for her to grow up to be with her.

This is all very strange to me (which is obvious because I could only relate it to a fictional vampire novel) and it must be hard for you. I mean, what I would do is just be there and help her and listen to what she says. Whatever she is going through does not sound easy and support is probably a benefit for her.

It all seems a little strange to me. And I don’t know her at all but maybe she’s a little caught up in the Twilight phenomenon. Of course that is just my simply theory. Clearly, my mind is not as open as yours but I have a difficult time giving people the benefit of the doubt.
You should read the book series and see if anything else pops out. I know lots of girls that would love that to be their own life.

The brain is a complex and mysterious organ, one that can be affected in bizarre ways by stress, hormones, drugs and psychoses. The younger and more stressed one is, the less experience they have to draw upon and it makes them vulnerable to suggestion. Something as common as night terrors can be misinterpreted as visitations or channeling if she’s hanging around with others who believe in this stuff. Cults and bad advice can steer someone in the wrong direction, just as trained professionals and good advice can make them aware that a dream is just the brain’s way of processing detritus during sleep that’s left over from whatever it was dealing with while conscious.

I think people who auto-suggest themselves and fall into this world and actually believe in this and think people who don’t believe in the same things are crazy! All this is pretty far out there and if I was you my amigo, I would run for the hills to get away from this girl and people like her. Sorry, but that’s how I feel. I’m going to ask you a question, but where do you find these people? You need to just leave her alone and move on to somebody who’s “normal.” No offense.

Listening without judgment is always a welcome first step that a lot of women seem to appreciate more than a guy’s first instinct (rationally “helping” and “troubleshooting”); but, if offering an ear doesn’t stop her slide down a path to lalaland groupie sites that push a belief in ghosts and past lives, and you earnestly want to help her get through this confused period, consider doing some diligent research into hallucinations, night terrors and stress. You’ll be better prepared to help if she wants it. However, if she’s hellbent to jump off the cliff into the irrational, then I’d second littlenick’s suggestion!

Not only that, she already told you she’s meant to be with somebody else. Move on. Leave her alone. Next time she calls, tell her you are trying to figure out how to count backwards from 10 billion without losing track, and by her calling she just made you lose track so sorry you have to go and start all over again!

Are you still there?

Been there, done that. Only difference, the woman was alcoholic. Alcoholics (and psychotics) tend not to have friends but take hostages. I was totally unfamiliar with the power of dependency (alcohlism involves addiction, a disabling form of denial of reality) so was torn between “helping” and “running the other direction.” I was way overconfident, but that was because I was applying my own rational perspective and totally ignored her lucid moments when she’d quietly confide that if the shoe was on the other foot, SHE would run away. Looking back, it’s painfully clear that I should have run and never looked back. Instead, I flushed a chunk of my life away that I will never get back trying to help stop her slide into oblivion. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you can help until you do some serious research. Learn from first hand accounts how emotionally draining such “helping” can be. Life’s too short to help someone who can’t be helped, or doesn’t want help, or can’t rationally see that they need help.

IOW, you gotta know when to hold ‘em, and when to walk away.

Well, I don’t know what to think of the “bigger picture” part of this, but there is a flaw in her logic that you might point out—and it might benefit her.

She says that in all her incarnations everyone she loves either leaves her or dies.

Well, yes. What other outcome could there possibly be?

Either you leave someone, or you stay with them for the rest of your life, after which you die.

I guess you could outlive them. Otherwise, I don’t see another possibility.

Harsh as it sounds, everyone dies. If she is waiting for a person who isn’t going to die, she’s got a long wait ahead.

Setting aside all the mystical aspects of this, though, it sounds like you are more committed to her than she is to you.

If that’s OK with you, she sounds like an interesting person to be around, and you might want to continue going along for the ride. If that is NOT OK with you, then you might think about finding someone who lives more in the here-and-now.

Good luck sorting through all this.
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Blurring the line between reality and fantasy thats what it sounds like. Emily mentioned Twilight I think your girls needs to put those books down that might be getting to her head a little too much. I’ve even heard of folks that think their vampires which is quite humerous. The shadow stuff is really kinda hokey and probably due to an over imaginative mind

The past life stuff is also just fantasy with no basis in reality again some folks just get carried away with stuff like that. I know folks that actually believe they can have their fortunes told or their palms read or even see the dead which all not true. Again some get carried away in their own little imaginations and just kinda thinks its real. Be careful there may be something more going on here maybe some deeper emotional stuff thats causing her to live in the fantasy state. She may be covering up some type of pain by thinking these unrealistic things

Tzubake wrote:
Yeah I know what you guys mean. I mean I’m not really committed and at this point I’m not even in a relationship with her, I was just seeing where everything was going to go because we really have a good time together when we are together. Now that this all came out I’m really not sure if I can handle it because I’m sorting through my own stuff all ready and I really don’t know if I’m ready yet to even bear another person’s burdens on my shoulders. Like I said before though.. I’m just not one to completely give up and wash my hands of something. I don’t want to do that just because she told me this because to me that’s ridiculous because it would just leave her in a worse state than she all ready is.

I understand and you have to take care of yourself as well. Getting involved in something that may be disfunctional may in fact hurt you more if your dealing with things in your own life. Don’t just walk away but be careful which it seems you are

Tzubake wrote:
Yeah I mean before I even considered remotely getting involved with her my biggest concern was if I’d even be able to be there for someone else at this point because I’m still sorting through things that happened to me over the summer. I’m doing better but I still have my ups and downs and it’s just hard because I’m not sure if I can be that person to lean on, even though I really know I’m capable of doing it. I’m trying to be careful but go into everything with an open mind because in all honesty.. everyone is different and everyone has their things.. just some more deeper than others I guess.

Your definitly thinking the right way you’ll make the choices when the time comes.

Well, don’t push this part of her aside just because you didn’t expect it. That will only make it worse because you’ll be pretending she is someone else.
This is a part of who she is, it may even be her entire self. She may never change. And it’s unlikely she will see things from another perspective.
Those are all cold truths.

Ask if you can meet some of her friends…so if you can feel a vibe from them about the situation. You may have thought she was something different than who she is…

Fiona Apple - “Paper Bag”

well i am sure she is not quite with you .She is in a Fantasy Land.If i would take her on a trip to a Slaughter House ,she be perfectly cured after a few Nightmares .Seeing Animals what look in to your Eyes for the last time getting Cut to bits and peaces. That my Friend is reality, hers is Fantasy.Some people never change and getting worse with there fantasy .The end is the Loony Bin.She better be careful..

Barbyman wrote:
well i am sure she is not quite with you .She is in a Fantasy Land.If i would take her on a trip to a Slaughter House ,she be perfectly cured after a few Nightmares .Seeing Animals what look in to your Eyes for the last time getting Cut to bits and peaces. That my Friend is reality, hers is Fantasy.Some people never change and getting worse with there fantasy .The end is the Loony Bin.She better be careful..

Whoa. Thanks for that reality.

the only Way to cure her .i call it exercised.

Tzu, I don’t think necessarily that she’s off her rocker. Nor do I think she’s making it up. I believe there’s a lot more out there than what we can physically sense, and if she CAN and its disturbing to her, then I believe her.
But.
I have a friend like this. She knows of many paranormal and supernatural occurances, and they terrify her to no end sometimes. So if you don’t think that you can COMPLETELY and WHOLLY dedicate yourself to helping her and being there for her 24/7, you should not get involved. Its very time consuming and very emotionally taxing, and I am able to handle it most of the time. But you just got out of a long realtionship and you are not really what I would call emotionally stable, no offense. So if I were you, I would be her friend still, and not “run away”, but not go out of my way to try and help her or replace the guy she knows she’s meant to be with. If you do that, you’ll be in for a ride I don’t think you’ll be able to handle.
And that’s my advice. =)

Paranormal and supernatural occurances really don’t happen at all its all mostly in the head and not real. Its usually the product of an overactive imagination. Most folks just read books see movies and hear things and just get carried away.

you should go into this with an open mind, its only there if you believe its there..