school help: To make a long story short as possible.I am a mother of 5 ,the - Help.com

To make a long story short as possible.I am a mother

of 5 ,the oldest 2 being grown and no longer at home.My boyfriend and I have 3 children together and we solely depend on his income to get by.I can’t work due to medical reasons.My boyfriend and I have been partners for almost 20 years,my probblem is he is so selfish.If he wants it he buys it no matter the cost or the fact we can’t afford it.If it comes to the kids birthdays and christmas,he doesn’t want to afford anything.I get the blunt end of his lizzard tounge to degrade me and tell me he isn’t having anything to do with christmas,as far as he was concerned there is no christmas.while me on the other hand wants to have happy and excited children at christmas.you know we lived on 300 a week for a family of 6 for 12 years and every little or big thing he wanted he got ,we couldn’t afford a 150 a month payment for a 4 wheeler he wanted ,but he got and me and the kids did without alot and when time came around to buy needed things like school clothes he would get ill and say they would have to make due with what they had from prior years no matter how outworn or torn.so we did.Youknow it has been almost 10 years since I have bought any clothes for myself,unless it was bought from the local thrift store and didn’t cost over 2 bucks that he wouldn’t notice being spent.He has always put hisself before any of us and when we were talking about planning a christmas list for the kids he made comment don’t plan on much.well I have always talked with my kids about the value of a dollar and they knowit’s the thought that counts when gifts are bought and givin.But I don’t understand how he can spend 800 bucks on a gun a 5,000 on a 4 wheeler and 400 on a crossbow and 300 on a trail cam and on and on with the things he wants ,then when it comes to buying for our kids he raises hell at me and lets me know whats not going to be spent or how he isnt gonna go in dept for our kids to have a christmas.I know times are hard and money is very tight ,why isn’t it tight when he wants things?I mentioned this to him while ago on the phone and he said there wasn’t gonna be a christmas he didn’t give a @#$%,and called me very rude and uncalled for names that was senseless.I always do without for my kids to have,Guess I better be glad I can buy baby diapers Huh.I never buy myself 1 thing,never ask for anything,if I buy something for the house it’s used or found on side of road.I can live this way for my kids to have things in life,I am not in need of anything,but my children are in need of alot,that their Daddy obviously seems to think they are undeserving of things,unlike him.I have no clue what I will be able to do for my children at christmas,but I’d rather crawl through mudd holes and dig through trash than aske this man for anything.I don’t want my kids to be sad at christmas,they know the things they could never have,not with their tight selfish father,but if I could I’d give them the world ,they are my everything and deserve so much more than what they get.They can’t even do extra after school fun sports because it cost money we can’t afford.1 Day our 11 yr old came home and wanted his dad to sign him up for baseball of course dad said no can’t afford it,but next day dad came home with a new gun.what can I do.who’s wrong about things here.How can I give my kids christmas without degrading myself ?I own nothing to pawn like I said I don’t get gifts from him on birthdays or anytime,he did buy me a plant once it died though..perhaps after being with him 20 yrs and this happening is 1 eason I haven’t married him.(reason)any ideas on what to do?toys for tots don’t supply kids over age 10,they are mostly for smaller chilldren ,I do have a 2 yr old but our other 2 are older than 10 and younger than 15.I’m just so sad about this always have been just never said anything and,other christmas’s we had walmart to do layway,but they no longer do that,but when they did I would put 4 items on layway that way little money would be paid out at once and he didnt notice and other times when they were smaller I received help from toys for tots but they dont help older kids.I don’t know amybe I should just keep the peace within this family and Thank God above we have a roof over our head he supplies us,in my mind I think it’s only because he needs this roof too.He really is this selfish.his ways sicken me but I am a defenless nonabled person who can’t work and has to depend on him,my doctor is disabling me in january so then I will receive some sort of income,I can hear him now telling me I need to pay the bills with it so he can have more money for himself LOL.I stay home allday nothing to do but watch our daughter and clean and cook ,hell he has it made he has his own cook ,maid and babysitter and all the above and beyond .Like I said earlier I’d live through anything for my kids,I will survive, have become very tough over the years with this man,not anything I can’t handle,just very sensative when it comes to my little ones having to do without because of him and his selfishness.I’ll figure something out for christmas though if I have to pick up logs out the woods and make them something…It just hurts to know when they return to school the storys from others of what they got and then being asked what they got and probally they will tell a fib and make up stuff to not feel poor and different,that breaks my heart.that and their looks on their faces christmas morning,I just want to cry because I have done without receiving anything from him all my life with him and I know the pain in the heart and emptiness feeling,but over the years it doesn’t bother me anymore,but I never want my kids to feel that feeling.they dont want much they had a lsit with like 8 itmes each on it and not 1 item was over 40 dollars,i asked them to modify their list to either 1 big toy or a few smaller toys or gifts and they did,my son said all he wanted was an electric motorbike from jcpennys they has yesterday for 199.00 and that was all.and the girl wanted clothes and shoes and some sort of virtual makeover toy.maybe I can have a yard sale and make some funds for christmas ,not much to sell though .If he wouldn’t mind me buying some groceries to bake with I could bake things to sell,like cakes n cookies.what would any of you do if you were in my shoes?

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Christmas, Money, toy, school, Year, Child, Gift, Cook, cost, Plan (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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