girl help: There’s this girl, we’ll just call her “Kate”. - Help.com

I would tell her, to her face, that this hasn’t changed the way you feel about her one bit.
You still would love her to go out with you.

cailean wrote:
I would tell her, to her face, that this hasn’t changed the way you feel about her one bit.
You still would love her to go out with you.

That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to do……but like I said, she pretty much runs away whenever I show up.

She’s probably embarassed because you found out yourself and she didn’t get to tell you in her own way.

Try asking her out on a simple date, like “wanna go get a coffee at (insert favorite coffee shop here)”. She will probably avoid you or make excuses, keep trying, the sooner you have a good open talk about the issue the sooner it will stop being awkward for her. It might be difficult for her, for all I know she has never had a relationship that went far enough for her to reveal her secret.

Why So Steve? wrote:
This is perfect! You’re the sensitive, caring knight in shining armour that wants to date the hot girl with an embarrassing problem that isolates her from the rest of the dating world. She might take some persuasion due to a lack of confidence, but keep at it and you’ll bag her.

Yeah, that’s the positive side of it!

” Just don’t take her to a scary movie on your first date.”

Ok, I don’t know if I should punch you or laugh out loud.

Well then, you’ll need to take it slowly. Just smile and always say hi to her, when you see her.

Eventually, she’ll see it makes no difference to you and she’ll come around.

Alternately, you could speak to her mother or father…..

Oh I thought of something else. Is there some embarassing secret about yourself you can tell her?

spec in the dust wrote:
Oh I thought of something else. Is there some embarassing secret about yourself you can tell her?

One thing I know for sure, that wouldn’t help. Unless it was the exact same problem.

Telling her a secret, would work after we’ve been together for a while…

cailean wrote:
Well then, you’ll need to take it slowly. Just smile and always say hi to her, when you see her.Eventually, she’ll see it makes no difference to you and she’ll come around.Alternately, you could speak to her mother or father…..

Yeah, but I’m about as afraid to talk to them as she is afraid to talk to me.

But I’m gonna go for it when I get the chance!

Why So Steve? wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yeah, that’s the positive side of it! ” Just don’t take her to a scary movie on your first date.”Ok, I don’t know if I should punch you or laugh out loud.

I’d prefer the latter. I wasn’t trying to offend. That’s why I didn’t use the term ‘pissy pants’ even once which frankly is just one of those sayings that I find hilarious!

Yeah, I’m sorry for being mad there. I need to stay cool about it all.

Another thing that I would HATE to happen is if during a date, her problem gets in the way. Which I bet is the same thing she’s nervous about.

Maybe I should just try hanging out with her (or as close to that as possible) amongst other friends in just a casual way, that way we’ll both get over the awkwardness of her rushing to the bathroom all the time.

I’m sure if it’s a problem she’s had for a while, she most likely has it under control in social situations. This however may have left an emotional scar for her. She may need some professional help so she can learn to cope with this before she gets involved with anyone.
Try writing her a note just saying hey and ask her a couple questions and see if she responds. This may make her more comfortable with you, too.

Why So Steve? wrote:

cailean wrote:
Well then, you’ll need to take it slowly. Just smile and always say hi to her, when you see her.Eventually, she’ll see it makes no difference to you and she’ll come around.Alternately, you could speak to her mother or father…..

And whilst you’re back in the 50’s, can you pick me up Buddy Holly’s autograph?

You’re quite a character!
You didn’t mean to offend…you could make that your catch phrase!

What about my comment did you have a problem with?

Anonymous wrote:

cailean wrote:
Well then, you’ll need to take it slowly. Just smile and always say hi to her, when you see her.Eventually, she’ll see it makes no difference to you and she’ll come around.Alternately, you could speak to her mother or father…..

Yeah, but I’m about as afraid to talk to them as she is afraid to talk to me.But I’m gonna go for it when I get the chance!

Good for you. I think if you took the time to talk to them, they may come on your side and help you make their daughter happy.

EmilyRI wrote:
I’m sure if it’s a problem she’s had for a while, she most likely has it under control in social situations. This however may have left an emotional scar for her. She may need some professional help so she can learn to cope with this before she gets involved with anyone.Try writing her a note just saying hey and ask her a couple questions and see if she responds. This may make her more comfortable with you, too.

I think she’s had the problem for a long time…so she might be able to manage it, the only difference is that I KNOW and she’s probably not used to that. But yeah, leaving a note is brilliant! Thank you!

Why So Steve? wrote:
She must wear some sort of pad or something just in case. I doubt she’s walking around constantly waiting for the flood gates to open. Such a dare devil game doesn’t seem much fun. If someone has a problem you generally take some sort of precaution.

Yeah…that’s somewhat related to how I found out. :( But she still has to rush to the bathroom at least twice as much as usual…I think. Maybe not…when I’m out with someone, I don’t want them to feel like they can’t just leave it there a while.

cailean wrote:
Good for you. I think if you took the time to talk to them, they may come on your side and help you make their daughter happy.

Yeah, what do you think I should say?

Why So Steve? wrote:

cailean wrote:
What about my comment did you have a problem with?

“To win the girl you must remember to wink regularly at her, and on occasion give her a firm open palmed slap on the behind. Buy her acetate pressings of the new music craze known as jazz. And should that fail, buy her father cigars and her mother an apron. Soon you’ll be on that rocket to the moon that NASA have been talking about so much lately”

Nothing really.

right….

I think you should explain that you have liked their daughter for a while, and were thinking of asking her out. But now you’ve inadvertently found out about her problem, and she’s running scared. It makes no difference to you, and would they be able to speak to her.

You may impress them, contrary to what someone else on here may think, and things could work out.

Why So Steve? wrote:
Come gander at my hilarious comment to cailean. I crack me up!

someone should

cailean wrote:
I think you should explain that you have liked their daughter for a while, and were thinking of asking her out. But now you’ve inadvertently found out about her problem, and she’s running scared. It makes no difference to you, and would they be able to speak to her.You may impress them, contrary to what someone else on here may think, and things could work out.

Yeah, I’m gonna go for that.

I think I should mention that I don’t know her from school, I know her from church. So I’m gonna try next Sunday to talk to her parents….

Anonymous wrote:

cailean wrote:
I think you should explain that you have liked their daughter for a while, and were thinking of asking her out. But now you’ve inadvertently found out about her problem, and she’s running scared. It makes no difference to you, and would they be able to speak to her.You may impress them, contrary to what someone else on here may think, and things could work out.

Yeah, I’m gonna go for that.I think I should mention that I don’t know her from school, I know her from church. So I’m gonna try next Sunday to talk to her parents….

Good idea. Let us know how it goes. Good luck!

cailean wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

cailean wrote:
I think you should explain that you have liked their daughter for a while, and were thinking of asking her out. But now you’ve inadvertently found out about her problem, and she’s running scared. It makes no difference to you, and would they be able to speak to her.You may impress them, contrary to what someone else on here may think, and things could work out.

Yeah, I’m gonna go for that.I think I should mention that I don’t know her from school, I know her from church. So I’m gonna try next Sunday to talk to her parents….

Good idea. Let us know how it goes. Good luck!

Yeah, so make sure to subscribe to this thread if you want to know how it goes.

Here this might help, I found a wealth of information on the subject at this link:

http://www.emedicinehealth.com/bladde…

Seems to suggest that there are many treatments available. Who knows, her doctor may not be aware of some of them. If not else, at least you’d understand the topic better, you won’t know until you read it!

Steve… Cailean, bloody heack behave you two.. cailean thats just steves sense of humor, just go with it… steve quit picking on people lest i write you an angrily worded letter…

right now sit down and try to help out eh.

Thanks Josh

spec in the dust wrote:
Here this might help, I found a wealth of information on the subject at this link: http://www.emedicinehealth.com/bladde… to suggest that there are many treatments available. Who knows, her doctor may not be aware of some of them. If not else, at least you’d understand the topic better, you won’t know until you read it!

Hey, thanks. That might be able to help. But of course, I don’t think I want to get involved with it too much, at least not right away. But I’ll continue to read it…

And to everybody,
Thank you for helping us help you help us all!

Why So Steve? wrote:

Josh McCool wrote:
Steve… Cailean, bloody heack behave you two.. cailean thats just steves sense of humor, just go with it… steve quit picking on people lest i write you an angrily worded letter…

right now sit down and try to help out eh.

Did I invite you to this thing or was this a happy accident? Should it be the former, you have disappointed me beyond belief sir!

cailean wrote:
Thanks Josh

im not picking sides here, Steve, leave it out eh, both of you are my friends on here, and this post isn’t about some daft wee squabble. its about helping out this chap. now keep your handbags holstered you two.

Um..i’m sorry, but can you please leave the unrelated stuff to personal messages? Thanks…

my 2 cents for all its worth is that you need to take it slowly with her, keep trying to speak to her but maybe don’t mention her problem for a while. it will take time, but im sure your a nice enough guy to stick at it an make her realize you don’t care about her problem.

“my 2 cents for all its worth is that you need to take it slowly with her, keep trying to speak to her but maybe don’t mention her problem for a while. it will take time, but im sure your a nice enough guy to stick at it an make her realize you don’t care about her problem.”

Yeah, I definitly don’t want to talk about it for a while.

Well, be sure everybody to tune in next sunday. (probably sometime in the evening) I’m going to post a sepperate thread, and don’t worry, I’ll contact everyone who posted (or posts in the future) and give them a link.

I really hope it works out….

Why So Steve? wrote:
The way we’ve been talking about it you’d think this girl has a glass eye or a fake *** or something. It’s not a big deal. Just treat her like you don’t even know about the problem. You know now, and it’s at the back of your mind. Pursue her as you were before and you’ll snag her.

Totally. :)

Why So Steve? wrote:
The way we’ve been talking about it you’d think this girl has a glass eye or a fake *** or something. It’s not a big deal. Just treat her like you don’t even know about the problem. You know now, and it’s at the back of your mind. Pursue her as you were before and you’ll snag her.

Steve when you try.. well heck its sage advise..you gotta apply yourself more :P

Why So Steve? wrote:

Josh McCool wrote:
Steve when you try.. well heck its sage advise..you gotta apply yourself more :P

Josh, I’m thinking of two words. Neither of them are ‘thank’ or ‘you’. What do you reckon they are? ;)

‘Cheers’ ‘pal’…?

Of course Steve, i only came on here to have fun.