Love help: Terrified I am making all the wrong decisions. - Help.com

Why did you leave?

are you better off? are the both of you better off? i mean, emotions pass in time… we are the ones who really choose to feel them, so if we decide, yes i am sad about this, we will be sad… if we choose, no, this is best and i am better for it, then you will end up feeling better…

Did the change do you good? Do you feel better now other than the fact that you left your relationship behind?

When I miss someone from a past relationship, I think about why it ended. If it didn’t work out before, it would’nt work out now. What makes it difficult is there was good times too, specially at the beginning before each person becomes comfortable enough to be themselves around their partner.

When I was a teen I kept going back to my girlfriend time after time thinking things will be different this time. Every time she broke my heart. I see it with other people too. It doesn’t seem to work out the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time if it didn’t work out the first time.

Also sounds like you miss the old life but not necessarily the relationship.

Maybe your current relationship isn’t what your looking for?

“I am wondering if I have a problem with always wanting to escape.” Thats another can of worms, I think I might have that problem too. Let me gather my thoughts on that one.

Sometimes we like to escape or run away from problems. Some people think that by running away their problems will disappear by themselves. Is that your case?

noone can truly tell you if what you’re feeling is love but you.I know the situation all too well.I myself was in a relationship and left him,not because I didn’t love him but for a better life for my kids,this man was shot and killed not long after I left him and I loved this man,so I lived with those feelings for 6 years before they subsided.Most feelings are exactly what they are”feelings”.doesn’t mean love.I also have a ex husband And I can say I have feelings for him as a past relationship,we shared alot,emotional,physical and mentally,it’s only natural to feel something but to call it love isn’t always accurate.It could merely be a chemical attraction you expeirence with this ex.perhaps you’re not fully content in the relationship your in now,because exactly what you’re looking for hasn’t crossed your path as of yet,but when it does you will be fulfilled and content in everyway ,only then will those old feelings fade.

You keep second-guessing yourself. Realize that since you cannot have perfect information, you cannot make perfect decisions. If the relationship in NYC had been that great, you would still be there with the guy. Yes, you might always love him . . . but you sensed he wouldn’t be a good life partner. Analog: you might love someone, but you realize that if you went into business with that person, he’d bankrupt you. Marriage is more than just love. Love is the most important component, but you also have to be able to trust and depend on the other person. People who are reckless financially seldom have happy marriages . . . because their desire to spend takes precedence over financial security and peace in the family.

But you listened to your gut, which said to move on. And you did. You can wonder about what it would have been like, but you really have a pretty good idea. Nothing spoils an evening at home like a call from a creditor!

Realize that you made the best decision you could with the information you had. Changing your circumstances is not necessarily running away. I like small towns more, as well. I don’t like “anthills,” and NYC is an anthill, albeit a large one.

Do this: stop second-guessing yourself. Finish school. THEN you can go wherever you want and have some real options as to a career.

We come to forks in the road, and we often wonder what would have happened if we had taken the other fork. Stop wondering. Don’t turn back . . . just forge on ahead and try to make the best decisions you can!

Good for you! Remember, if the guy you were with was truly the “love of your life,” we all wouldn’t be here having this “conversation”!

You’ve got a great future ahead of you. You will be glad that you did not tie yourself to someone with self-destructive habits.

By the way, 90 percent of divorces are over money . . . not infidelity, not in-law problems, not alcohol or drug addictions–but over money.

So, don’t worry about the past and what could have been. You moved on for a reason. Entirely new vistas will open to you once you get your degree knocked out!