The divorce may help. But, you have to consider children.
How many are there and what ages?
Kids sometimes don’t get over a divorce for years.
There’s me, in high school,who would be incredibly happy, and then there’s my brother who has already moved out and created his own family.
Well then, talk to your Mum and tell her it wouldn’t break your heart if she divorced your dad.
Be prepared to stand beside her and give her moral support though.
i felt the same. before my mum left my dad.
things got so much better after
i just wish she did it sooner.
u say your bro has moved out? is if far from your school? if so move in with him. im sure he will understand
good idea madam. the only thing is, if her brother has a young family, including her could cause problems. not that lynn is a bad girl, but she might be “in the way”
I just feel kinda bad saying “Hey, I don’t really like Dad.” I’ve said something similar and I saw the hurt look on her face.
Yeah, my brother moved out…out of state. I live in NE and he’s in WI. I know he’d understand how I feel, he went through the same problems I’m havin.
I think a divorce is a good idea. Especially for someone in your situation. Weather or not the kids have a good relationship with their parents, if the parents are extrememly unhappy together, I think a divorce is a good idea.
You are not being to harsh. Your father has decided he didnt want anything to do with you, and has treated your family badly, as well as being an alcoholc. Thats not something that can be easily forgiven. Maybe in some years from now hell see his mistakes, but for now, you have every right to dislike him.
but some times it for the better.
i never said anything, i lived with it. to the point i never came home. i was 13 and staying at my friends house for weeks. it had a great effect on me.
you need to be honest with your mum, im talking from my own past here
if you dont like some say, other wise it eats up at you
I already told one friend about my mom hidin out in my room and sleelpin with me the past few nights…she too invited me to stay with her for a while.
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Still don’t know if I could tell my mom. I normally vent to friends or other family members like my brother or cousins.
why dont you ask your mum how she feel bout this?
it might make it easyer to talk.
That’s a possibility, I guess. I’ve asked how things were going, you know, if she needed to stay in my room again…It’s just the first time she’s shared things about their relationship so it’s a little awkward.
you need to do what best for you and your mum.
if living with your dad is making you guys un happy move!
just a question does he hurt you or your mum when you fight?
No physical violence to us, just the walls and sometimes appliances.
that good there no violence.
i understand it might hard for you to talk bout there relationship. i know it hard for me to talk with my mum about it.
does she no know you feel?
for my mum she was worried that it would hurt me and my brother to leave him. but in fact we were alot better of because of it.
sorry to kept telling you stuff about me. i guess im trying to let you no your not alone with it.
Hey, I appreciate the similarities.
I’m not sure if my mom knows, actually…probably why I should talk to her, huh?
I think my friends know more about how I’m feelin than she does. LOL
it normaly true, friends are a good thing to have.
i’ll talk to your mum see how thing go.
Thanks for the advice, I’ll make an attempt…we’ll see.
I think the divorce will be a good thing. It certainly wasn’t good with all the constant fighting etc. this scars a child. I lived through the same thing. I use to pray for the divorce, but they only seperated for a bit. The break from all the bickering was true bliss for me.Sometimes, a couple just grow apart for what ever reason. You feel the way you do towards you dad, because it’s hard to love an alcoholic. Everything they say, is coming from the bottle. Hopefully, if he cleans his act up, then, you can have the relationship you were denied, and then you can appreciate all his efforts (if he makes them) and make up for lost time. Until then, follow your instints. You always will love your Dad, just now he needs to own up to the hurt he’s caused, and seek the much needed help he truly needs. Hope in time, all will be forgiven, and you can have a healty relationship with both your parents. Good luck :)
I’m not sure I even want to make an attempt if he does get help. My brother’s a lot older than me, so even when I was about five or so I remember the fights they had. I don’t really remember a time that he wasn’t drinking.
But thanks! :D
That is very sad. You might give an attempt if you see his behavior is genuine.The getting clean and sober will be a huge *wake up call* for him. I hope he does seek help. He is missing so much. You will never forget, but to forgive is something you might want to consider if and when he gets help. You will have to do what’s best for you however. ((((((HUGS))))) :)
Divorce is never a good thing, if the people knew that they weren’t going to get along, they shouldn’t get married. They took them vows so that means that they should stay together.
Feelings change though. Recall I said he was an alcoholic; he didn’t start out that way. The label that as a “disease” (I call that bull but anyway…) that changed his personality. Why would they get married if they don’t get along? And you certainly can perdict the future.
lynn1319 wrote:
Feelings change though. Recall I said he was an alcoholic; he didn’t start out that way. The label that as a “disease” (I call that bull but anyway…) that changed his personality. Why would they get married if they don’t get along? And you certainly can perdict the future.
Diseases can be cured. Maybe he should be in rehab for alittle while to help straiten himself out and maybe alittle comfort from his loved ones, if the couple is willing to put in the effort to help each other, then they can get through nearly anything.
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