friends help: Im a loser. - Help.com

Some of these things are issues that can be overcome. I won’t go into specific, but I think the fact that you’re coming too people for help shows that you’re not actually a ‘loser’ - you may be the victim of circumstance, maybe your own past mistakes, but you clearly feel that your life can be better, and want it to be. That’s not the way a ‘loser’ thinks. I’m afraid it may take hard work, but you can get your life to be the way you want it.

all i can say is oohh babe cheer up!! you sound like youve got some pride which is a good thing, and there is never no way out of a situation, there is always a way of getting yourself up and out of it.
look for new jobs? talk to the people you love and you will see your not a loser- from experience the most loserish people dont even realise they are. you’re clearly not.
you will be ok- 23 is still young for starting your life for god sake!!

thats just life these days, all i can say is that life goes on and things will get better if you just trudge on. I’ve told this to many other people just focus on one reason to live for that you have and always remember it as long as you have a reason you can make it through. also i suggest you could turn to the internet for friends. not dating sites but like a good old fashioned chat site. internet friends are good cuz they are there to talk to but cant screw you up in real life.

I think (and I may be wrong) that what’s important here is to have small, achievable goals. Don’t say ‘I’m going to make my life better’, because you’ll fail. Say ‘I’m going to cut problem x out of my life in y weeks’. Then move on to the next problem, and the next.

I completely agree with the last point. That seems to emphasise my above points more - would a ‘loser’ have the strength of will to refuse to stoop to drug-dealing even when they felt no better opportunity presents itself? You’re a better person than you seem to think. A stronger person, and that strength will be very helpful in getting to where you want to be.

your not a complete loser. you got a few laughs left in you lol. “I have another $10,000 in debt with a nice 25% APR”

keyword there is nice lol.

and yeh your right i do feel slightly better. but its not all bad. you still got your health!!!!! unless i missed that in the list. my bad.

come on cheer up, mr mistofales is right. you are a better person than you think. you got courage and strength to turn from a life of drugs and violence. you got a degree. debt is debt and love is love. just take one problem on this list at a time. i wouldn’t start with love though as you have no money. unless you pull a rich bird, then i envy you lol.

thanks for cheering me up

your welcome……..arent you fgakjdf?

whoes fgakjdf

lol fgakjdf you are truly a legend. you have these problems and yet you have the self confidence to tell us and your able to smirk at your problems.

Exactly. Thing’s aren’t as bad as you think if you’ve got the right attitude, and you certainly have.

awww thanks mr mistofales lol

The top part sounds exactly like me, for one you have to get out and talk to people communicate. I just started college still havent made a friend yet. Just have to be patient socialize just a little and some more later and a little bit more later things will start to happen you’ll see.

Hey dude…your only 23…I’ve been a loser for 42 years…so imagine how I feel. Have only had 2 serious relationships in my life…one divorced me..hardly get to see my son…he’s probably better off anyway…since he’s got a dad that can’t do anything right…got no friends…no money…no job, got fired from my $20 an hour truck driving job last year..literally for no real reason other than my boss from day 1 was just the most despicable human being I have ever met…I honestly hope and pray he gets cancer and dies slowly…and I really do mean that…still unemployed…also..like you I’m going to ITT and getting into debt…but hoping this will be a start to better things…probably not though..economy sucks…no jobs around here..I’ll probably regret going back to school..unemployment is running out…car is a piece of crap..can’t afford to fix it…sit around when not in school watching tv and playing xbox 360..alone…so…just letting you know..your not alone…

PS…where are you from?…lets drown our sorrows in beer..and more beer…maybe toke up too?

Try being a grossly obese, red man ….”native american”

I know life can be hard for us ‘losers’ but we need to stay positive and believe in “ourselves”. The weed psychosis is one area to focus on eradicating.. trust me, you get some self - control back.

I use to have really really low confident (could not join group discussions, or conversing with more than one person), lonely, depressed, dyslexia (so really struggled and had to work hard to even get passable grades), no car, started drinking, height issues (5ft 7″), being a minority in a generalised racist school (so getting regularly beaten up), couldn’t get a job then when I did finally get a job (internship) my manager killed off my remaining confidence and the university had to intervene, and even my so called girl friends use to say that I was a nice guy and nothing wrong with me… but I still reminded single for so many years as in all honesty girls just didn’t like me in that way.

So what seemed to me as epic issues really brought down until I had enough of focusing on the negatives. Firstly I stopped drinking, slowly reducing the amount I would drink. Then overcoming this hurdle, I began to believe in myself (I stopped drinking :) (add different “fixation” here for personal reference)). Started doing things I actually liked walking and gym - just something small to start building up my confidence. By looking at each of my negative points, I began to think of how can I overcome these in a way it makes me feel comfortable and relaxed. One example: I started to ask people in the gym to spot me (ok not many said yes, but it helped with my confidence in communicating with people).

I could continue for a while, but I would recommend that you focus on the positives in your life, the ability to identify what makes you happy and taking steps towards it. I know this part is dull but I now have a much better job, communicate in groups, confident, and most importantly happy with myself.

Lastly being a guy and women not finding us attractive is due down to…confidence. First focus on you and getting your confidence and life on track before worrying about acceptance from others.

Apologies for any grammer/ spelling mistakes.