Love help: I’m dating my two best friends.

ƒ(x)=healberry³

I’m dating my two best friends.

I am so confused and so, so twisted. So the story is that I have been dating my girlfriend, whom we’ll call Girl, for over three months. We met through Boy, whom we regarded as our best friend and whom I have had the longest crush on. Boy essentially tried to set us both up together as replacements for himself. So happily we dated and pretty much distanced ourselves from Boy several times, until all three of us became best friends again.

After the first month it has seemed that Girl has been less excited about the relationship and has seemingly distanced herself from me. I told Boy everything but he just urged me to hold on to her and never let her go. I told him I didn’t plan to let her go but if she has outgrown me and wants to separate, it would be her decision. For a series of nights I felt lonely, so I called Boy up everyday to talk to him. Somehow we’ve entered into a relationship with each other after having deep conversations and acting flirtatious with each other (more than normally).

He knows I’m dating Girl and he also knows that I think the relationship will end with her sometime soon. Girl knows how I feel about him but not that I’m dating him, and she also knows that I have been feeling that she’s been distancing herself. She even forgot my birthday and when she remembered, didn’t tell me happy birthday. I didn’t care about the gift she didn’t give, but more over the fight that occurred that day and the other one that occurred the few days after, the personality clashes that occur, and even the lack of communication that has been seen over the past three weeks.

Yet, I still like her. Our relationship in the beginning was magical..and now I just don’t know anymore. If I break up with her I know she will be suicidal and enter into her bad self from before (drugs, ditching school, smoking, cutting). Boy has just been doing everything right lately though. I care for her so much, but for the relationship so little. I’m just really lost though, I cannot choose between them and I feel that I am cheating them both.

This open post was written 1 year ago | V/U/S: 371, 25, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post ƒ(x)=healberry³ may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. ƒ(x)=healberry³ is a verified member, has been around for 2 years, 3 months and has 72 posts and 1,782 replies to their name.

Post Tags (7)

friends, happiness, girlfriend, boyfriend, relationship, Love, care (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (25)

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ƒ(x)=healberry³ invited 62 users to read this post 1 year ago.

Help me with: I’m ambivalent about breaking up [input needed].

ƒ(x)=healberry³ changed the tags on this post: they were "friends, Boy, Month, birthday, girl, Day, Has Been, met, Call, care" 1 year ago.

Help me with: I’m ambivalent about breaking up [input needed].

berta 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (7 minutes after post)

obviously if girl knows of your feelings about boy she will distance herself. you need to choose cuz right now you are cheating both of them from a real relationship. you say she will fall if you dump her but how will she feel if she finds you cheating

Help me with: Had to Share my 13 yr old sent this to me

ƒ(x)=healberry³ 3 #
Bellflower, CA, US | 1 year ago (8 minutes after post)

I think she thinks that I’m over him, since I thought I was too for a while. Until she distanced herself, then I realized I’m still into him.

Help me with: I’m ambivalent about breaking up [input needed].

berta 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (9 minutes after post)

women are very perceptive to feelings.

Help me with: Had to Share my 13 yr old sent this to me

berta 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (10 minutes after post)

you didn’t answer my ???. what would she do if she finds you cheating?

Help me with: Had to Share my 13 yr old sent this to me

ƒ(x)=healberry³ 3 #
Bellflower, CA, US | 1 year ago (11 minutes after post)

Uh she will probably feel just as bad as if I broke up with her without her knowing.

Help me with: I’m ambivalent about breaking up [input needed].

berta 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (11 minutes after post)

were you and boy goin out before?

Help me with: Had to Share my 13 yr old sent this to me

- Fourthings™ - 7 #
Ballinteer, 07, IE | 1 year ago (12 minutes after post)

You have three choices, leave them both and be single, make it work with her and end it with him, or leave her and be with him. You need to ask yourself what do you want and what will make you happiest. Don’t stay with her for fear of her well-being, only stay with her if it’s what you want. Either way, get yourself out of this situation soon. Do what is best for you.

Help me with: Resolved.

berta 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (12 minutes after post)

actually if you break up with her she will have suspicion but it won’t have the tendency to ruin her future relationships from distrust

Help me with: Had to Share my 13 yr old sent this to me

ƒ(x)=healberry³ 3 #
Bellflower, CA, US | 1 year ago (13 minutes after post)

I will feel horrible in all situations. :(

And you’re right, especially since she has trust issues..If I break up with her I won’t tell her.

Help me with: I’m ambivalent about breaking up [input needed].

berta 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (16 minutes after post)

you can throw this situation through your mind all day but if you really read your post you have already chosen boy, just by noticing the positive and negatives. but only you will know when you are ready to listen to your heart

Help me with: Had to Share my 13 yr old sent this to me

berta 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (18 minutes after post)

you sound truly sensitive and i wish you the best of luck. the girl- you can try to be friends but it may or may not work.

Help me with: Had to Share my 13 yr old sent this to me

ƒ(x)=healberry³ 3 #
Bellflower, CA, US | 1 year ago (24 minutes after post)

thank you, i appreciate your input.. :)

Help me with: I’m ambivalent about breaking up [input needed].

chev.jame 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (37 minutes after post)

Rai, it’s almost a wash. Over 99.9999 percent of high school romances do not survive the senior year. When you think how many people there are on this earth, what are the odds that you’ll find your “soul mate” in the little pond of your high school or local community?

Odds are that you will not keep up a serious relationship with either Boy or Girl.

You are all just starting to experience life. Your attitudes will change. Your priorties will change. At the age of, say, 22 or 23, your ideas of what is important will hardly resemble your current ideas.

You may very well marry a guy that you wouldn’t look at twice today.

So, don’t sweat it. Just be friends to both. There’s no need to pursue a serious dating relationship right now. You’re all going to be going to college, to work, to other places.

It’s all going to be all right. You just tell ‘em BOTH you enjoy their company, but don’t want to make any long-term commitments at this stage of your life. And, no, you don’t date someone because he or she threatens suicide. That’s not the basis for any kind of relationship.

Good luck . . . and enjoy this last year in high school!

Max 193 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (4 hours, 55 minutes after post)

lol…fine mess you have …lol. Just kidding, have fun as you are only young once:)

Help me with: If you have trouble running, walking will do:)

Ashlo 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year ago (1 day, 12 hours after post)

Hm…Maybe be good good good friends with girl and stay with boy? Not sure, “tough cookie”

Help me with: *Sigh*

ƒ(x)=healberry³ 3 #
Bellflower, CA, US | 1 year ago (2 days, 23 hours after post)

So I think the boy and I have finally figured the situation out for the next few months. We will continue a secret relationship until the issues in the girl’s life settle down, and then I will break things off with her. Then after about a month or so we will become official. I’m completely happy for the first time in my life with the boy though. :)

Help me with: I’m ambivalent about breaking up [input needed].

ƒ(x)=healberry³ 3 #
Bellflower, CA, US | 1 year ago (2 days, 23 hours after post)

thank you everyone for your replies

and chev.jame, you’re completely right, sadly.

Help me with: I’m ambivalent about breaking up [input needed].

Snar 41 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year ago (3 days, 10 hours after post)

Oop, just responding to my invite but I see youve got things sorted out. Im glad :)

Help me with: I sometimes want to float away.

ƒ(x)=healberry³ 3 #
Bellflower, CA, US | 12 months ago (1 week, 5 days after post)

Update: I dumped the girl in a very very messy breakup, talked to the guy, and got dumped by him. Oh, what a fun twist of events.

Help me with: I’m ambivalent about breaking up [input needed].

Max 193 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (1 week, 5 days after post)

lol…I saw that train wreck coming…well you lived, loved and now you can go “next”. The fun is in the searching:)

Help me with: If you have trouble running, walking will do:)

ƒ(x)=healberry³ 3 #
Bellflower, CA, US | 12 months ago (1 week, 5 days after post)

Meh. Result is that I feel horrible, but I’ll live.

Help me with: I’m ambivalent about breaking up [input needed].

Max 193 #
An Unknown Location | 12 months ago (1 week, 5 days after post)

:( I’m sorry to hear that..it’s better to happen early, just think how fortuate you are that you didn’t have years wasted. A happy day wish for you:)

Help me with: If you have trouble running, walking will do:)

ƒ(x)=healberry³ 3 #
Bellflower, CA, US | 12 months ago (1 week, 5 days after post)

Thank you.

Help me with: I’m ambivalent about breaking up [input needed].

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I’m dating my two best friends.

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