guy help: My 37yo sister that living with us ran up the phone bill again! - Help.com

I’m so sorry, your sitaution is a difficult one. Especially when it involves family, BUT…..

You are in fact enabling her.

To stop this behaviour, you are going to need to harden up and show her some tough love. Tell her she has 4 weeks to find herself a place to live. Don’t back down and feel sorry for her. She doesn’t care for you or your family. She is using you for everything she can squeeze you for, and you are letting her do it.

She will continue this behaviour until you stop it.

At 37 years of age. This is utterly disgusting, she should be embarrassed and ashamed of herself.

Take the phone from her, and remove all your phones. Make them accessible only to you and your husband. You might want to see if you can restrict long distance calls on them without a code.
Your sister needs to grow up and accept responsibility for her actions.
You might also want to consider throwing her out. This situation is going to blow your marriage up.

I know, you must feel as though you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. She is putting you in a very difficult position.

Try and listen to your husband a little more than your sis though. She has no right to dump all this on you and your family. I’m shocked that a 37 y.o. could allow herself to mooch off another family like that. It’s really really bad. Not to mention incredibly unhealthy for your relationship.

You and your husband must have a very strong bond to withstand all this. Most wouldn’t have survived the first month.

If I were you, I would feel so used and betrayed. She is carrying on with not just one man, but many men, and using your money to do it.

She absolutely can not receive anymore help, from you especially. Any help from you, is sending the message that it’s ok to behave this way. This is why she is still doing it without a care in the world.

Yes, she will cry to you. She will explain why she does all these things, she’s made all these mistakes and she will appoligise prefusely and tell you it will never happen again. Yes, she will tell you she is trying to change her ways.

Let me tell you, It won’t happen in this life time.

She has problems. Big problems, and I’m afraid to say, you are not the person who is able to fix them. She requires professional help by someone outside of her immediate family. Someone who will not sympathyse with her. Someone who is trained to get to the bottom of these things and sort it out.

We teach people how to treat us. Unfortunately, over time, you have taught her that it is ok to use your home and facilities as a free service to use how ever she pleases.

The age old saying is true. “Give them an inch, they will take a mile !”.

cailean wrote:
Take the phone from her, and remove all your phones. Make them accessible only to you and your husband. You might want to see if you can restrict long distance calls on them without a code.
Your sister needs to grow up and accept responsibility for her actions.
You might also want to consider throwing her out. This situation is going to blow your marriage up.

I agree.
I mean my gosh.. she is 37! It’s time for her to grow up. Maybe I’m dumb .. but how could she put her cellphone charges on your bill? I always thought you had to have the main owner of the account call in and vertify the SS # and all that?
As for my parent’s home phone, we can’t call long distance. It won’t even allow us, I don’t think. Maybe you can call the phone company and get something set up.
As for her cellphone, do you pay for that regularly or was it that one time only thing when she charged things on your account?

If you pay for it, I’d get it shut off and tell her if she wants a cellphone that badly, she needs to get a pre-paid one that way it will allow her to do whatever she wants but she won’t be able to charge you guys. She will have to buy phone cards.

Just ignore this post if my advice doesn’t make much sense. Lol.