Love help: My boyfriend is wonderful and sweet and up untill about 3 weeks - Help.com

I would say you shouldn’t stay with someone if you’re not happy with them.

I know thats how I feel, thats what I say to other people but i keep thinking if I can get these mad thoughs out of my head that have come from nowhere, we can get back to our old selves

hun your insecure for some reason. I think it will go away there just must be somethin up. your prob so scared of loosing him and coz you hear so many stories and stuff about men and what they get upto your prob just freakin out abit incase he does. be careful coz u could drive him away.

It’s not likely coming from nowhere. You’re likely just choosing to ignore the things you don’t like because it makes you uncomfortable.

Trust your feelings, there is something there. Sort the feelings out and challenge your suspicions. It’s crazy for someone to think one way and not satisfy those thoughts with proof.

Miss Em is right your insecure with him for some reason. If staying with him in a long relationship has made you suspicious then that’s calling for a lot of unhappiness to be placed on you. Until you iron this out I wouldn’t get married.

Miss_Em not only have I heard stories I have experienced them first hand, but for the first time in my life I trusted this guy and now I don’t I think I should trust my instincts but why has he started talking of marriage and moving in together is thatfrom guilt or is it genuine?

babe say nothin till you hear more. sounds to me like he’s gettin scared he’s gettin older and wants to settle down. You could be worryin about nothin. but dont turn a blind eye. if he is bein sneeky you are better knowin sooner rather than later

Perhaps a little voice in your head is just saying “wait”. Waiting is good thing and you can sort out a lot of baggage by waiting and building a line of communication where he proves himself to you.

He is entitled to have his own friends and a girlfriend/wife shouldn’t interfer with friends. That makes him a prisoner in a relationship. But, if he spends far too much time with friends to the exclusion of you and the relatinship than that’s a different problem.

To protect yourself work these things out. Communicate with him about going out, etc. Ask him what he feels is reasonable. How will the two of you spend your time together? etc.

See I don’t think he is being sneeky, he was working late the other night and I was sat there thinking calm down he often works late, but he could be meeting a girl going for drinks just chattin but what if she is more fun than me, then bless him he turned up at mine with a film and wine and we had a night in, I hate this I want to trust him again, I fugured it he is cheating I will find out in the end, and he told me he has my Christmas present so he hasn’t plans of leaving me before Christmas, it must be all in my head? I don’t know!

i wish i could say something that will just make you feel loads better but i think you need to sort this one in your own head. you will get over this. its just gona take abit of time, trust and love.

Genesis721 wrote:
Perhaps a little voice in your head is just saying “wait”. Waiting is good thing and you can sort out a lot of baggage by waiting and building a line of communication where he proves himself to you.He is entitled to have his own friends and a girlfriend/wife shouldn’t interfer with friends. That makes him a prisoner in a relationship. But, if he spends far too much time with friends to the exclusion of you and the relatinship than that’s a different problem.To protect yourself work these things out. Communicate with him about going out, etc. Ask him what he feels is reasonable. How will the two of you spend your time together? etc.

He is an angel I go out with my friends at least once a week and the weekend, he doesn’t bat an eyelid, then he wants to go out with his friends and I would never ever say I didn’t want him to but deep deep down I’m thinking I don’t want you too I want you with me, how selfish is that!

Miss_Em wrote:
i wish i could say something that will just make you feel loads better but i think you need to sort this one in your own head. you will get over this. its just gona take abit of time, trust and love.

It’s difficult in a relationship when a guy has a lot of friends. They are the life of the party and everyone likes being around them because they are so much fun. If you mistrust him for being that way than the insecurity is strictly a problem with you.

Being controlling is one of the biggest problems in a relationship. It ruins everything. It breaks the spirit when someone is consistently asking the guy to prove that he loves her.

When you love someone you can have the time of your life. You feel that your time together is so special that you can’t have with anyone else.

I know he felt that way about me, he said I was his best ever best friend, lately I’m not too sure and I can’t work out if it’s me pushing him away making him distant or if he made himself distant so I pushed him away, I can’t pin point when it started, but we talked he reassured me things were great, I didn’t mention that I don’t trust him tho that would end things instantly

Noooooooooooooooooooo
I hate when you forget to be annonymous

If he has been working late and making more money than he can probably take you out to more places and do more things together. So I would start planning what we are going to do together and we are going to go.

Build a relationship of fun times together and see if he is willing to go there with you and what he might say.

*hugs cake. Dont worry babe xxxxxxxxxx sounds like your really happy just remember u are 2 people not one so you have to let him have his wee social life (but still keep him under the thumb) and what you have to do is be the BEST girlfriend you can. be the best and go out of your way to be the best. He’s not goin anywhere xxxxxx

Love is like that, you worry if you can stay this happy, will it end? I agree with Miss_Em. He does sound like he is committed to making you happy.

Thanks guys I am trying, it’s his birthday Monday and I am going to spoil him rotten, I feel calmer than I did

be the best cakes!

is there reason for you to feel like he is going to cheat? has he had any signs?

Just that he is very quiet and withdrawn lately, just not his normal self, we still see each other as much, and he won’t talk to me about it

yea… it sounds like he is withdrawing himself from you for some reason… maybe he did something wrong he is worried you will find out about… maybe he IS cheating… if i ever have that feeling, i cant rest until i get my answers. its a fine line you have to be careful to not cross either way. if you accuse him falsely of cheating or being wrong in someway, you could lose him for not having faith in your guys relationship… but if you DON’T pursue your instincts and he cheats you will be beating yourself up for it after… i think you will have to trust your instinct on this one and see where it takes you