Family help: ok so i am doing this beacuase i really don’t know what else to do. - Help.com



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ok so i am doing this beacuase i really don’t know what else to do.

I have this boyfriend and we love eachother really much. we have been dating for the past year and few months. Things between him and I are GREAT! our problems begin with our families. My father passed away when i was younger and its been my mom and i since. He on the other hand is one of 5 siblings, he lives with his dad and step mom because his mother recently passed away. My mother needs me at all times as i had mentioned its only been her and me for the longest. His family is the same thing but on another level….My boyfriend takes the kids to school, picks them up, buys the little ones diapers, makes sure they are fed, and when the parental unit goes out takes care of them because they have to go out cause they are young, not my boyfriend. Other things have happend and our families simply don’t get along, i cant stand his family, and he can’t stand my mom. Its gotten so bad that my mom is threatinin to kick me out if i keep seeing him ….which is horrible seeing how i give her my entire paycheck. So i would have no where to go. I am so frustrated becuase between him and me there aren’t many problems except stupid arguements couples have at times or me bitchin at him to stop raising his siblings and tell his dad to do it, or him bitchin at me to stop being my moms slave. We both defend our parents obviously. I say my mom is sick and she treats me nicely which is true part of the time lol. And he defends his dad by saying he sleeps all day cuz he runs the check book of the house so its like being a CEO (yea but not when it comes to family). Any way my final point is i don’t know what to do. If i leave my mom will go lookin for me at their house even if i wasn’t there and im afraid of what could happen. Does any one have advise?

This open post was written 1 year ago | V/U/S: 99, 3, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

Post Tags (13)

Family, house, Sibling, young, boyfriend, mother, Parent, Problem, Stop, Stand, family issues, relationship help, feeling lost (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (3)

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~~EdieAnne~~ offline Verified User (1 year, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 6 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year ago (1 hour, 25 minutes after post)

Hmm, more than an hour and no replies for anon.
Anon, OMG this really choked me up.
How on earth old are you?
Actually age does not matter in this case.
All I know is that no matter how old you are, if you keep up the pace that you are going, you will absolutely burn yourself out.
If nothing else, just by worrying about it all.
Oh this is so unfair for you.
Well, yeah I guess first I really do have to know how old you are?
Are you also in school with all of this going on?
Edie

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Help me with: Hello Help.com.
BFree offline Verified User (1 year, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 7 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year ago (1 hour, 46 minutes after post)

YOu and your boyfriend need to learn how to take care of yourselves and not everyone else!!! Good luck.

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Help me with: I have not been here for awhile as I am feeling very down.
Junaid offline Verified User (1 year, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Eastbourne, E2, GB | 1 year ago (1 hour, 51 minutes after post)

I read that you love each other very much and the issues which have arisen between the 2 extended families, but nowhere in your post did I see you actually say that you are looking to get married to each other and the family problems are coming in the way of that.. so I am not sure what kind of answer or help you are looking for.

If you are both committed to each other for the long term, then you both need to express that to your respective families, and let them know firmly that this is your intention and whatever they do will not stop it.. so they can either accept it and be happy and give you their blessings, or if they refuse to accept it, then bear the responsibility and guilt for breaking up and fracturing all these families and relationships, but in any case, the two of you are going to spend your lives together and ultimately the decision for that will rest with you two and no one else.

However, having said all this, I would also urge you very strongly to be patient and proceed with the acceptance and blessings of your families, and persuade them on to your side.

It is also very admirable that you both are taking care of your families, but there may come a time when you want to start your own, so there may need to be a shift in responsibilities for parents to start doing more chores related to their own young children. You should always take care of your parents though, within your capacity, into old age, just as they have raised you.

Take care.

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