I hate to say it but there’s a fourth option:
D. She isn’t aware of your feelings and the fact that she hasn’t been in touch means nothing, she’s not ignoring you, she just hasn’t had a chance to say hi.
It may not be that but you have to bear in mind it’s a possibility.
I suppose, there is always the option that she’s waiting to hear from you.
You can try contacting her but you don’t want to force the matter as, if she is aware of your feelings, you could scare her off. Or, you could try asking some mutual friends if there’s some reason why she’s been quiet but there’s always the chance someone inadvertently mentions to her that you’ve been asking around, which could also cause problems.
Waiting and seeing may be the best course of action but it’s hard to say.
ok so I wrote a massage to her about 20 minutes ago.. she’s on line but she doesnt reply. what does it mean now?
You say you wrote a message to her - was it an e-mail, IM, what?
If it’s an e-mail, there’s no saying she’s even read it yet.
it’s not an email. its a communicator. I wrote that I had great time at her party and stuffs like that… she was on line and Im sure she’s read it. now she’s gone and she hasnt left any message. she’s acting like she want to avoid me
This is a little more difficult then.
She could be avoiding you because she has similar feelings but doesn’t know what to do; because she has similar feelings but doesn’t feel that it would be fair to let anything happen because she’s in a relationship; because she doesn’t have similar feelings and doesn’t want to have to deal with things just now; because she doesn’t have similar feelings and thinks that maybe giving things some time will help.
The possibilities, unfortunately, are almost endless.
If I were you, I wouldn’t push too hard.
Maybe the speaking to mutual friends thing would be a good idea.
I think about all possibilities all the time and I have no idea which is right. I cant talk to mutual friends because i now they would tell her that im asking about her… give some time is good idea but it’s very difficult to a men in love to wait nad be patient, if you know what i mean.
thaks for help anyway…
I will wait as long as i can.
Surely there must be at least one mutual friend you can confide in, someone who wouldn’t immediately tell her you’ve been asking.
Then again, maybe someone else mentioning you’ve been asking about her might spur her into getting in touch?
It’s hard to say.
As for waiting, I feel your pain, I really do.
But if it’s the safest course of action, then it’s what you need to do.
im affraid that there is no one who i can talk to in confidance. Besides she a kind of person who doesnt like to talk about her life to everybody around so - everything is in her mind. And thats what Im trying to guess - what’s in her mind… I dont know what to do and how long will I have to wait and what should I be prepared for? I scared.
I ask myself what I did wrong an this party and i cant find anything. everything was so good. she eve gave a hug when i showed up. I dont get it? waht is wrong?
Sadly there’s no set period of time you have to wait.
She might say something tomorrow or she might stay silent for a week - as you say, it’s impossible to tell what someone else is thinking.
I’m sorry but I can’t answer these questions any more than you can - only she can tell you what happened.
If there isn’t anyone you can talk to in confidence, then speak to one of your mutual friends who will tell her but just be very careful about what you say - don’t mention your feelings, just that you’re worried you’ve upset her and you wnat to make things right.
Maybe when she hears that, she’ll get in touch.
tell me everythig’s gonna be ok
I can’t mate, I’m sorry.
I really wish I could but I won’t lie to you.
All we ever want is for someone to tell us it’ll all be ok but, until it is, no-one can make that kind of a promise.
why dont you contact her?
Pardon?
Was that addressed to me?
yes. maybe you could e-mail to her or sth… i dont know im getting crazy…
I don’t know her though.
I don’t even know you.
Do you not think it would be a bit weird if she received an e-mail from a complete stranger?
yes you’re right… im sorry… i just dont know what to do… there has to be a way to get to know whats goin on….an i cant find it. what if i talk to her onestly?
Don’t apologise.
I know what you’re going through and I know how much you just wish someone could make it all make sense.
If you really can’t cope the way things are, then yes, talking to her is an option.
But you need to be prepared for the possibility that things don’t turn out how you hope.
At the end of the day, there is no right way of doing this, you have to do what you have to do.
Just be prepared for the possibility that it doesn’t end well.
and that’s what im scared most… i dont know whats gonna be if she’ll turn me down… something push me to believe that everything is ok. that nothing happened and she just need some time… what would you do ?
I know the thought of not being with her is terrifying but if you don’t take the chance, it’ll never happen.
Personally, I’d tell her.
Even if the worst comes to the worst, you’re no further forward than you are just now but you’re not really any worse off either, are you? I mean, yes, losing her as a friend would be terrible but it’s got to be worth the chance to try and be happy.
But, if you are going to tell her, think long and hard about it first.
After all, it’s your life, not mine so it’s what you’d do, not what I would that matters.
wow, thans for advice. it’s a difficult advice but i appreciate it. I’ll think about it… and promise to tell you about my dacision and how will it all end.
Now it’s time to sleep in my country so i’ll better go and hope I’ll get some rest. Thank you,
I’ll be in touch,
goodnight.
Good luck.
I hope you sleep better than I do when I have stuff on my mind an I hope it all goes well for you when you speak to her.
It’s been a long time since I wrote… I’ve talked to her and she doest know about my feelings. Everything is ok… but nothing’s changed. She’s still in her relatioship and I’m loosing hope that I could ever make her mind…
Step666
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