friends help: Why can’t I have any true friends? - Help.com

Don’t let people take advantage of you. Set boundaries. Encourage a friend who needs a moto bluetooth to think about ways to save up money to buy it- buying it for them only enables them to complain and be dependent on others. If you get a suicide call find someone who is licensed to handle such things- have the person call a hotline or call 911. And if someone calls you for moving help a 3am, tell them you have a big test in the morning and aren’t available to help but wish them luck. Set boundaries. If you do want to help than know that people will think it’s okay to call you at 3am to do things for them. Oh, and if you give someone money and tell them not to pay you back, then…they won’t. A gift is something you give without expecting anything in return- otherwise it’s a bribe. You sound like a nice person but you’re sabotaging yourself. Don’t agree to something unless you really want to do it-no strings attached. P.S. A “true friend” won’t use you for labor, money, etc. or be mean spirited. Tell yourself you deserve better, and then be open to finding it in unexpected places. Love, Shade

Wow you just exactly explained the situation i’m in…. but i dont even know if i even have true friends because most of the time they can come to me for help. But i cannot, really i cannot even go to them for help. they wouldnt understand. and they would only joke about my problems.. and its my senior year almoste graduating… its sad but then again im just gonna try to stay friends with them and hoping that they dont feel about me the same ways they felt about u….

Fight4Righ wrote:
I hate to tell you, but this is coming from a person who REALLY understands you. Get over yourself! What your looking for is someone to tell you are an amazing person when you know your not. Work on yourself enough to love yourself and then you will treat yourself with a healthy attitude. Whatever it is that would make you look into someone else’s heart rather than look into your own will eventually destroy you. Whatever you need brother will not come from any of us but only from yourself. Good luck my friend, I wish you the best.

No he’s right in everything that he said. It’s the exact situation im in but it just didnt happen to the point where i separate from my so-called ‘true friends’ yet and hope not to.. It’s not getting over ourselves. It’s trying to show people that i care about all my friends and the only thing that i can do is make all of them happy. and when i do make all of them happy most of the time my friends create problems between each other and then they go to me for help and next thing u know im called a traitor or loser or w.e But really going out of my way to completely help them and make each one happy only ends up having me being hurt in some way. Like a friend could get jealous or theyd argue and make me choose sides or they wouldnt even talk to me because they would assume that i habe already picked a side. So its hard to have true friends now a days….

I really like what uzumak1_n4rut said.

Fight4Righ wrote:
I hate to tell you, but this is coming from a person who REALLY understands you. Get over yourself! What your looking for is someone to tell you are an amazing person when you know your not. Work on yourself enough to love yourself and then you will treat yourself with a healthy attitude. Whatever it is that would make you look into someone else’s heart rather than look into your own will eventually destroy you. Whatever you need brother will not come from any of us but only from yourself. Good luck my friend, I wish you the best.

…..Well too bad me and you ARENT alike…..I am not looking for ANYONE or do I need anyone to tell me I am amazing person and your right I know I am not amazing but too bad many people call me amazing because of the things I do (whether it be advice, helping someone, or just being there for someone when they need someone to talk to, and just being an all around nice guy…..

I do love myself; I am not looking into other people’s heart for anything…

I thought you said he was right… ?

elahayethry wrote:
Don’t let people take advantage of you. Set boundaries. Encourage a friend who needs a moto bluetooth to think about ways to save up money to buy it- buying it for them only enables them to complain and be dependent on others. If you get a suicide call find someone who is licensed to handle such things- have the person call a hotline or call 911. And if someone calls you for moving help a 3am, tell them you have a big test in the morning and aren’t available to help but wish them luck. Set boundaries. If you do want to help than know that people will think it’s okay to call you at 3am to do things for them. Oh, and if you give someone money and tell them not to pay you back, then…they won’t. A gift is something you give without expecting anything in return- otherwise it’s a bribe. You sound like a nice person but you’re sabotaging yourself. Don’t agree to something unless you really want to do it-no strings attached. P.S. A “true friend” won’t use you for labor, money, etc. or be mean spirited. Tell yourself you deserve better, and then be open to finding it in unexpected places. Love, Shade

Thanks for your reply…..

Yeah when I do something I never expect anything in return at all…What got me to write this was because a friend of mine wrecked his jeep and was with out a car for nearly 3-4 weeks. Within our circle of friends there are only about 3 of us with cars. The other one with a car was grounded and her car was taken away. He asked me if i could take him to work adn I agreed because there was NO one else too (parents worked all the time) and I ended up taking him to work for about 3 weeks. Now I blew my truck’s transmission and now I had no way to work. I asked this friend to take me to work ONE day (because I was going to get a rental while it was in the shop) and he responded “No, it’s not my problem you do not have a car so guess your stuck”……

Elahayethryn wrote:
I thought you said he was right… ?

You you thought I said who was right?

Oh- nevermind I misunderstood, it’s hard to follow these conversations sometimes- I mixed up some usernames… Anyway about the friend with the wrecked jeep story- I’m sorry but I wouldn’t be friends with a person like that! Someone like that isn’t worth your time!

Elahayethryn wrote:
Oh- nevermind I misunderstood, it’s hard to follow these conversations sometimes- I mixed up some usernames… Anyway about the friend with the wrecked jeep story- I’m sorry but I wouldn’t be friends with a person like that! Someone like that isn’t worth your time!

Yeah after that I stopped being friends with them

Well good for you, don’t settle! There really are good people out there. I am of the persuasion that they are the minority : ) but that doesn’t mean they’re not out there.