Mind help: How are we supposed to rehabilitate our children who make poor - Help.com

I know. White-corrective-politics has f**ked the country up.

I dont have children but i do think that if u really want to get a hold of ur child or make them realize wut they have done is wrong..u should take something away from them that u know they really love. or if they have a party to go to..they cant go. something that u know that will make them upset because they cant have it or cant go. wutever the case is

Well, first, you should teach them to not make poor choices in the first place and you should NEVER expect them to make poor choices. Rather than thinking about how to punish or discipline a child who makes poor choices, focus on making sure they don’t make those poor choices in the first place.

LiLsexithang1 wrote:
I dont have children but i do think that if u really want to get a hold of ur child or make them realize wut they have done is wrong..u should take something away from them that u know they really love. or if they have a party to go to..they cant go. something that u know that will make them upset because they cant have it or cant go. wutever the case is

Depends on the child. Like spanking, that can sometimes just make matters worse.

no im not saying spankings…im saying take something away from them..like a favorite toy or a party depending on the age

LiLsexithang1 wrote:
no im not saying spankings…im saying take something away from them..like a favorite toy or a party depending on the age

I know perfectly well what you said. I never said that you were talking about spanking. The poster is.

I think rehabilitate is a strong word. They are little human beings in the learning process., they dont need rehab-ilitated.they need to be taught.Maybe disciplined is the word you were looking for? In any case I agree a good swat on the butt with a hand is good and healthy and should be done more like it used to be.Anything beyond that is abuse.

Like taking away privileges is going to do anything. The kid’ll say sorry and whine. The next day? Nothing. Forgotten.

Everyone in today’s cowardly bourgeois society says stuff like “think about the children!” and “what about the kids!?” You know what I say? Screw ‘em. Screw the children. We’re pampering the hell out of them, and if they don’t learn to stand on their own 2 feet, they’ll finish last.

Vilén wrote:
Like taking away privileges is going to do anything. The kid’ll say sorry and whine. The next day? Nothing. Forgotten.Everyone in today’s cowardly bourgeois society says stuff like “think about the children!” and “what about the kids!?” You know what I say? Screw ‘em. Screw the children. We’re pampering the hell out of them, and if they don’t learn to stand on their own 2 feet, they’ll finish last.

YOu have a good point Vilen but theres no balance.it seems yours is extreme where others are too leniant.(not adresssing anyone here,just in general.) and yes, taking away things the child likes the most does work as long as the parent explains and does not do it out of anger but more of a lesson.

spanking them does NOTHING and usually only makes matters worse. spanking is “alright” EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE!!!! but if you spank them every time they do wrong, then they’re only going to reject you, and this can cause bad relationships in the future once the child understands “abuse.” and even if it’s not abuse, it’s pretty close. just let them know what they did wrong, and make sure they know about it, but without the pain.

pianoman9189 wrote:
spanking them does NOTHING and usually only makes matters worse. spanking is “alright” EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE!!!! but if you spank them every time they do wrong, then they’re only going to reject you, and this can cause bad relationships in the future once the child understands “abuse.” and even if it’s not abuse, it’s pretty close. just let them know what they did wrong, and make sure they know about it, but without the pain.

and grounding them is a great way to make sure they know.

pianoman9189 wrote:

pianoman9189 wrote:
spanking them does NOTHING and usually only makes matters worse. spanking is “alright” EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE!!!! but if you spank them every time they do wrong, then they’re only going to reject you, and this can cause bad relationships in the future once the child understands “abuse.” and even if it’s not abuse, it’s pretty close. just let them know what they did wrong, and make sure they know about it, but without the pain.

and grounding them is a great way to make sure they know.

ground rarely works.

grounding them stops them from doing it for like a day.

FIGHT THE POWAH wrote:

pianoman9189 wrote:

pianoman9189 wrote:
spanking them does NOTHING and usually only makes matters worse. spanking is “alright” EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE!!!! but if you spank them every time they do wrong, then they’re only going to reject you, and this can cause bad relationships in the future once the child understands “abuse.” and even if it’s not abuse, it’s pretty close. just let them know what they did wrong, and make sure they know about it, but without the pain.

and grounding them is a great way to make sure they know.

ground rarely works.

it all depends what you ground them from, and how long you ground them. the worse, the bigger, and longer the ground

pianoman9189 wrote:

FIGHT THE POWAH wrote:

pianoman9189 wrote:

pianoman9189 wrote:
spanking them does NOTHING and usually only makes matters worse. spanking is “alright” EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE!!!! but if you spank them every time they do wrong, then they’re only going to reject you, and this can cause bad relationships in the future once the child understands “abuse.” and even if it’s not abuse, it’s pretty close. just let them know what they did wrong, and make sure they know about it, but without the pain.

and grounding them is a great way to make sure they know.

ground rarely works.

it all depends what you ground them from, and how long you ground them. the worse, the bigger, and longer the ground

Grounding never worked for me. Nor did spanking. What parents need to do is find a way to discipline children in a way that steers them straight in the long run.

Find a “punishment” that suits the crime. If the child is misbehaving and taking things away does not work it ussually means that something is lacking emotionally… (Quality time.)

pianoman9189 wrote:
spanking them does NOTHING and usually only makes matters worse. spanking is “alright” EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE!!!! but if you spank them every time they do wrong, then they’re only going to reject you, and this can cause bad relationships in the future once the child understands “abuse.” and even if it’s not abuse, it’s pretty close. just let them know what they did wrong, and make sure they know about it, but without the pain.

YOu know what everyone, your all right.It depends on the kid what and how much works.I rarely had to discipline my daughter but my son needed it more.They are individuals and should be treated and taught as such.

Spanking is part of the culture in our country though we have laws against it.Spanking doesn’t work. The kid would rebel later and then be immune to spanking. My mom hits my brothers and it only made US hate her more. She tells us, when we were kids that violence is not that answer and she doesn’t practice what she preaches. So don’t spank your kids. I put a lot of emotional distance from my mom. So that when I mess up (like getting the wrong answer after she explains the homework), she wouldn’t have a reason to hit me like what she does to my brothers. I let my dad teach me cause he never gets tired expalining things all over again when I get confused again. :)

I think it really depends on the kid. What works for some might not work for others.
I read an article that giving time out had negative effects on the psychological well being of the kid.

Have you tried sitting your kid down and talking to them? When I was a kid, my dad just sits me down and tells me of my mistakes. I grew up loving him more and more. He’s my idol and my hero.

Why it works: Because sitting me down and dad looking straight into my eyes make me feel guilty. Everyone hates confrontations especially one-on-one. Even kids hate it. It’s because during that confrontation, you’d see how disappointed your dad is, and you feel so ashamed of what you did. You feel that you had really hurt your dad. My logic ever since was that he’s my dad and HE’s my mom and I shouldn’t do anything to hurt him because he never hurt me. (He did made a bad choice of marrying my mom but he’s not responsible for mom’s actions). Since my dad never did hurt me, I grew up with the awareness that he loves me. When I was a kid, I’d tell my friends that Dad loves me because he never hits me. This acts as my conscience. I try to be at my best behavior because dad commend it. I try to stay away from trouble and bad influences because I don’t want Dad to worry. I do good in school, because I want to make Dad proud. So I try to be a good person because I love my dad so much. I hate my mom. Oh well…

I don’t know how you treat your kids but I hope you’d always show them that you love them so much. I hope to that your kids would be aware of that. Nothing overcomes evil better than love.