Love help: Hi, I turn 18 soon, I live in England so thats adult for us :P. - Help.com

it sound to me like your in morin, you lost someone very close to you and i know u said it was a year a go but it still sound like u miss her. im sorry you lost your gf if you wanna just be sad be sad.

dude i know this feeling exactly (though fortunately for me it wasnt as a result of a death). you just have to dive in man. hve a party for yourbirthday, get out there and have fun. you will regret it later on and kick yourself in the *** later. I think going out for your birthday with all your friends will show you (again) how much fun it can all be. you jsut need that kickstart to get you out of the rut.

Thanks, jleec. I guess ill give it a go. Nice to know someones been there before (not nice for you obviously…)

Don’t let people force you into being sociable. If you want time alone, you deserve at least that for all you’ve been through. Besides, if you’re forced to be sociable in situations you don’t want to be in, it will only make you more miserable, and it won’t be terribly fun for everyone else. If you get some time to yourself to make yourself happy on your own terms through relaxation, a hobby, and so on, you might find it easier to cope with your loss, and once you are able to work out your feelings the desire to go out with your friends will probably surface again, too. I’d say kick the scotch, too, or at least don’t drink as much. Even if you don’t get drunk that much could be wreaking havoc on your digestive organs and liver.

Hello.

You’ve been through a tough time. It’s hardly surprising that you feel mixed up and just want to be alone.

I think you need to see a bereavement counsellor if you haven’t done so already. Unresolved grief issues can lie dormant in our subconcious and lead us to confusion and self-abuse. I am concerned that your drinking may well be symptomatic of that.

Ask to be put in touch with a student counsellor or check out a few of these links:

http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/

http://www.equip.nhs.uk/topics/addict…

Your parents are clearly worried too and offering you the best advice they know. Try to go easy on them. They do care.

I think, deep down, you know that there is something unresolved don’t you? It’s preventing you from leading a full life. You need to pluck up the courage to talk it through with someone outside of your normal circle and find some resolution.

Read up on grief, stress and alcohol and see what you can find out. You may be surprised how controlling past events can be in our lives.

I’ve never been in a situation like yours with a girlfriend, but I certainly have had my fair share of friends and relatives dying. Something like that is obviously a very traumatic episode, and it sounds like that you haven’t had enough time to come to terms with it, as well as the people around you not giving you enough time to do so. In time I would imagine you will start getting back to your old self, but as mumstheword just said maybe talking to a bereavement counsellor could really help a lot.

And as for the alcohol issue, I would recommend trying to cut back. Not necessarily stop altogether (although that would be idea), but certainly try to cut back. It only leads to you feeling worse about everything more often than not.

Thanks everyone, ive decided to have a small group of friends and we’re going to go to a nice restaurant, im doing it in a couple of weeks. Oh and ive stopped drinking, I informed my parents and they took my alcohol away, since I dont like going out…well its weird being sober all the time. I miss it but wont drink for at least a month or two.

Im going to see if I can get on my own two feet between now and when I celebrate my bday (2 weeks). If I dont feel significantly better Im going to suck it up and tell my parents and request to see a counsellor.

Thanks everyone, seriously.